Fetus Survives Killing of Mother, Washington Post
Kansas Woman Charged With Strangling Pregnant Woman, Then Stealing Fetus, New York Times
Woman Charged in Grisly Theft of Fetus, ABC News
N.C. Woman Helped Crack Stolen Fetus Case, TheCarolinaChannel.com
Suspect in Stolen Fetus Case to Be Arraigned, Fox News
Stolen fetus hearing venue to be set, The Washington Times
Communities struggle with death of mother, theft of fetus, KBCI Boise
Hearing set in stolen fetus killing, CNN.com
Woman Accused of Stealing Fetus to Appear in Court Tomorrow, WIBW-TV Topeka
Fetus Snatch Suspect Faces Hearing, CBS 2
Hospital: Stolen fetus in "remarkably good condition",News 14 Carolina
Woman Accused of Taking Fetus "Acted Normally", WOAI
Notice a pattern here? Even fascist Faux News and the Moonie Times agree that the bizarre creature brutally extracted from a murdered woman last week was a fetus. Not a human child, mind you, but a F-E-T-U-S. Yet despite a media consensus to the contrary, the anti-choice crowd still insists on referring to the damned thing as a "baby". A poor womyn is killed and a fetus is on the loose, yet all these repugs can think about is how to use this tragedy as a means to undermine Roe v. Wade.
Goddess forbid I should ever have a tapeworm. The fundies would probably insist it had a "right-to-life" and force me to carry it around inside me for the rest of my days.
Yes, I know the fetus has cute little "baby hands" with cute little "baby fingers" and makes cute little "baby noises", but that doesn't make it any more human than a baby-shaped intestinal parasite. Furthermore, I don't recall this fetus being "born", nor have I read anything remotely hinting that the host organism wanted it to be. She could have been on her way to the abortion clinic for all we know. So lacking a physical birth or any sort of written documentation certifying an intent to carry the pregnancy to term, we must protect a Woman's Right to Choose and err on the side of inhumanity. It's a FETUS, and will remain one until the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals says otherwise.
Unfortunately, that could take years. The fetus could be well into high school before it is deemed "alive" and awarded full human rights. Not quite living, yet not quite dead, this veritible Schrodinger's Fetus would be subject to relentless harassment and teasing all through it's quasi-childhood.
I know, because I've been there. There was a little girl on my street who was "born" prematurely, her "mother" having died in a car accident on the way to the abortion clinic. "Frannie the Fetus", we'd call her. We'd chase her all the way to the bus stop in the morning, singing "Frannie the Fetus! Frannie the Fetus! Watch out she's gonna eat us!" until she broke down in tears. Then her old man called the gestapo on me and I spent my 28th birthday picking up trash off the side of the freeway. So I'm no stranger to suffering.
Sadly, no one understood the potential danger of a fetus allowed to roam free back then, and they sure as hell don't understand it now. I hear that the "father" has already claimed custody of the fetus and is going to selfishly raise it as if it were his "child", oblivious to the damage he's doing to the cause of reproductive freedom. As with the Laci Peterson case, the anti-choicers will use the fetus' humanlike characteristics to insinuate life where there is none, and chip away at a Woman's Right to Choose.
One can almost smell the smoke as the Bill of Rights burns.
Tapeworms: Mother Nature's diet program!
(Unlike fetuses, which make women even fatter.)
Posted by: Red Loser | December 23, 2004 at 03:38 PM
Okay, Red Loser, and Vishnu, too, you can either take the credit--or the blame--for the next and newest, "diet craze!" Screw Atkins! Get yourself a tapeworm!!!!
Posted by: JannyMae | December 23, 2004 at 07:39 PM
IMO life begins at the age where the 'fetus' can pick up a gun or even a rock or a stick and hunt a small animal, kill it, skin it and feed itself. Or if you prefer a more humane approach, at the age it can tell the poisonous berries in the back yard from the tasty safe ones. Anytime before that and they're cute but not yet human.
As for your tapeworm, I'm afraid the people forcing you to keep that in your intestine are likely to be the kind folks at PETA. That's the only abortion they want to stop.
Dave
http://www.elitistpig.com
Posted by: Dave Nalle | December 24, 2004 at 10:49 AM
After the link from Best of the Web, I think Liberal Larry's Bag O' Hate Mail is going to be nearly bursting soon...
Posted by: Nathan | December 30, 2004 at 11:23 AM
JannyMae, I believe you are too late with the TapeWorm Diet.
I don't know what all this fuss is about from the obviously anti-choice commenters here. Fetii are just clumps of cells (y'know, like cancer) so that they can be excised with no moral qualms. Are they now suggesting that I should carry a cancerous lump to "term?" After all, it's my body, my parasitic clump of cells, why should I be forced to carry it against my will. Its not like a clump of cells could ever make anything useful out of itself. Some of the most evil people the world has ever known started out as clumps of cells, and fetii even. Those warrior-aborters are doing the world a favor. They could be removing the next Ghengis Khan (y'know, if a clump of cells ever deserved personhood that is...)
Posted by: MisterBixby | December 30, 2004 at 11:51 AM
This is so far over the top, it has to be satirical, right? Right?
Posted by: Big J | December 30, 2004 at 12:25 PM
Whew...you commies are fuckin' nuts!
Posted by: gawdamman | December 30, 2004 at 01:23 PM
Abort yourself you human filth.
Posted by: U R an ASS | December 30, 2004 at 01:36 PM
Ah! The Opinion Journal crowd checks in with their Red State ravings!
Posted by: spd rdr | December 30, 2004 at 01:44 PM
CRAZY FREAK LIBERAL only RESEMBLES HUMAN BEINGS that worship evil BUSHCHIMPLER
The election's over..MOVE ON.
Posted by: Doug | December 30, 2004 at 02:07 PM
Yeah, a fetus is just a clump of cels. Proof here: http://www.abortionno.org/Resources/AbortionPictures/09_weeks-03.jpg
Posted by: KB | December 30, 2004 at 03:24 PM
I've read these posts. The world is a poorer place for the likes of this blog.
Posted by: Daniel Murray | December 30, 2004 at 04:00 PM
This is a joke right? If not, you're freakin' nuts! How dare you ignore the suffering that woman went through in order to salvage an untenable political position.
Posted by: John | December 30, 2004 at 04:06 PM
You got here for free, Dan.
Quit cher bitchin' and move along smartly.
Leave the pipe.
Posted by: spd rdr | December 30, 2004 at 04:08 PM
"Goddess forbid I should ever have a tapeworm. The fundies would probably insist it had a "right-to-life" and force me to carry it around inside me for the rest of my days."
BEST IDEA I'VE HEARD LATELY.
Posted by: fluffduffer | December 30, 2004 at 04:59 PM
Oh no. It seems my fellow Best of the Web folks seem to have forgotten to turn on their irony detectors when they clicked your link.
*shakes head*
Posted by: MisterBixby | December 30, 2004 at 05:40 PM
People (including Best of the Web) don't get the OBVIOUS satire here...
Gross, but funny.
Posted by: Spidey | December 30, 2004 at 06:43 PM
Your article totally blew my mind! It brought to mind an obvious solution to this "moral dilemma". I can't believe nobody's doing this! Hear me out: If you could have an advance treatment that would guarantee that you would never, ever have a tapeworm no matter how much nickel-a-bowl fried noodles you scarf down, you'd probably do it, right? Or if you could undergo a treatment that would guarantee you would never get cancer in any form, you'd do it, right? Me too! So I suggest that all 'womyn' here immediately call their local clinics to schedule hysterectomies. No, I'm serious. Preventive measures... wouldn't want any rogue cell clusters forming inside you.
Posted by: LiberalNancyBoy | December 30, 2004 at 07:07 PM
For crying out loud, you people really make me laugh. Not just any laugh mind you, but the kind of maniacal laugh a homicidal freak of nature lets loose as he's wiping the blood off of his katana amidst the murderous carnage he's just perpetrated. Seldom does one get to witness such a collection of neanderthals undeserving of the life they've been allowed to live all in one place. You subhumans are living proof (assuming your "host" gave vaginal birth that is), that retroactive abortions should begin immediately.
Posted by: Skidmore | December 31, 2004 at 12:32 AM
It's interesting to watch those with a bad case of sarCHASM waste time berating our Liberal and Savior.
Posted by: J at TAotB | December 31, 2004 at 01:06 AM
To the author: Your ravings display before a holy God a depraved and hardened heart. I will pray for you, that your eyes would be opened to your sin and spiritual state before your life ends. Remember - "it is appointed for a man once to die - and then the judgement." There is still hope for you - if you will repent and believe that a baby, born unnaturally of a virgin, took your hate and degradation upon himself when he died on a cruel cross. This Son of Man and Son of God was perfect- so death, which is our payment for our rebellion against God and transgression of His laws - could not keep Him - He arose from the grave on the 3rd day and now sits at the right hand of the Father. He will come again (I believe very soon) to judge the world. Friend - I grieve for you that there is no fear of God in your life - God will not be mocked - what a man sows - so he shall reap. Do not reap the bitter sorrow of God's wrath due to you from your sin - you can be saved! Look to Him who suffered your curses and hatred (and mine) when He gave up His life for His friends.
Posted by: trublu | December 31, 2004 at 05:27 AM
As a pro-choice conservative I continue to see the angry left as blinded by fanatical bias no different from the fundamental religious right of pious group. Both are lacking tolerance or discussion of opinion beyond their own demagoguery.
Posted by: wsm | December 31, 2004 at 05:43 AM
WSJ readers, please look up sarcasm and irony.
Don't make us look bad. This is a parody of the thought processes that allows liberals and pro-abortionists to excuse any injustice on a baby.
It's a joke.
Posted by: poke-in-the-fetus | December 31, 2004 at 08:42 AM
Am I the only one who thinks the person who wrote this blog above is a SICK, TWISTED, ASS-HOLE? We should have been so lucky as to have had his mother put a coat-hanger up her sour puss and jerk this abomination out into the toilet. He is the kind of person that gives the looney left their reputation.
Posted by: CommonSense | December 31, 2004 at 08:47 AM
You people are seriously unhinged. The fact that you have so abstracted the humanity of a baby, merely by its proximity to the womb, in service of your selfish desires stuns me.
May God in Christ have mercy on your souls and clear the scales from your eyes.
Posted by: Steven | December 31, 2004 at 10:27 AM