Crazy Freak Fetus Resembles Human Baby

Fetus Survives Killing of Mother, Washington Post

Kansas Woman Charged With Strangling Pregnant Woman, Then Stealing Fetus, New York Times

Woman Charged in Grisly Theft of Fetus, ABC News

N.C. Woman Helped Crack Stolen Fetus Case, TheCarolinaChannel.com

Suspect in Stolen Fetus Case to Be Arraigned, Fox News

Stolen fetus hearing venue to be set, The Washington Times

Communities struggle with death of mother, theft of fetus, KBCI Boise

Hearing set in stolen fetus killing, CNN.com

Woman Accused of Stealing Fetus to Appear in Court Tomorrow, WIBW-TV Topeka

Fetus Snatch Suspect Faces Hearing, CBS 2

Hospital: Stolen fetus in "remarkably good condition",News 14 Carolina 

Woman Accused of Taking Fetus "Acted Normally", WOAI

Notice a pattern here? Even fascist Faux News and the Moonie Times agree that the bizarre creature brutally extracted from a murdered woman last week was a fetus. Not a human child, mind you, but a F-E-T-U-S. Yet despite a media consensus to the contrary, the anti-choice crowd still insists on referring to the damned thing as a "baby". A poor womyn is killed and a fetus is on the loose, yet all these repugs can think about is how to use this tragedy as a means to undermine Roe v. Wade.

Goddess forbid I should ever have a tapeworm. The fundies would probably insist it had a "right-to-life" and force me to carry it around inside me for the rest of my days.

Yes, I know the fetus has cute little "baby hands" with cute little "baby fingers" and makes cute little "baby noises", but that doesn't make it any more human than a baby-shaped intestinal parasite. Furthermore, I don't recall this fetus being "born", nor have I read anything remotely hinting that the host organism wanted it to be. She could have been on her way to the abortion clinic for all we know. So lacking a physical birth or any sort of written documentation certifying an intent to carry the pregnancy to term, we must protect a Woman's Right to Choose and err on the side of inhumanity. It's a FETUS, and will remain one until the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals says otherwise.

Unfortunately, that could take years. The fetus could be well into high school before it is deemed "alive" and awarded full human rights. Not quite living, yet not quite dead, this veritible Schrodinger's Fetus would be subject to relentless harassment and teasing all through it's quasi-childhood.

I know, because I've been there. There was a little girl on my street who was "born" prematurely, her "mother" having died in a car accident on the way to the abortion clinic. "Frannie the Fetus", we'd call her. We'd chase her all the way to the bus stop in the morning, singing "Frannie the Fetus! Frannie the Fetus! Watch out she's gonna eat us!" until she broke down in tears. Then her old man called the gestapo on me and I spent my 28th birthday picking up trash off the side of the freeway. So I'm no stranger to suffering.

Sadly, no one understood the potential danger of a fetus allowed to roam free back then, and they sure as hell don't understand it now. I hear that the "father" has already claimed custody of the fetus and is going to selfishly raise it as if it were his "child", oblivious to the damage he's doing to the cause of reproductive freedom. As with the Laci Peterson case, the anti-choicers will use the fetus' humanlike characteristics to insinuate life where there is none, and chip away at a Woman's Right to Choose.

One can almost smell the smoke as the Bill of Rights burns.

Comments

[Stalin Lives In Boston]

All your base are belong to us.

[Ry]

"All your base" jokes???

An important point has been made here, Stalin. Namely, that ". . . we must protect a Woman's Right to Choose and err on the side of inhumanity."

Amen, Larry. Move Zig.

[Stalin Lives In Boston]

For great justice!

[JQu]

Larry,
Though you are for the most part a beacan of reason in these troubling times of facist oppresion you have let me down today! How could you possibly confuse a viable life entity like a tape worm with the biomass of a FETUS?! The Tape Worm has as much right to live on this earth as you do. Infact you should count it a blessing that the godess of the earth granted you the privalige to carry such a marvelous creature. You almost sound like one of those hypocritic religious funatics that care nothing about the suffering of our fellow creatures and their natural habitat.

[Ry]

JQ, my thoughts exactly.

Gloria Feldt could not have put it better when she said, "Somebody set up us the bomb."

[Stalin Lives In Boston]

I was not surprised by Shrub's reaction to the news of this choice being cut from that poor woman (poor in the sense that she couldn't afford a doctor to do it instead) when he said, "You have no chance to survive, make your time."

[Cassandra]

Larry, you ignorant fetus:

It is only by the grace of a Womyn that you have been allowed to exist on our Mother Gaia for all these years, but like most Men you are really becoming tiresome. You had better hope your Mother does not change her mind and revoke the Choice she made so many years ago.

You have no chance to survive. Make your time.

[Cassandra]

Sorry Stalin, I should really read the comments more carefully before posting... (going to get coffee)

[Cricket]

Larry,
How do we protect ourselves from a rampaging fetus? I mean, this is scary! Almost like a serial movie:
Fetus the 13th part 10.

Cassandra, that would be Larry the Ignoretus.

[aelfheld]

"[...] I spent my 28th birthday picking up trash off the side of the freeway."

Surprise, surprise. I could have sworn that you had never done a single thing to justify your existence.

[JannyMae]

Why all the hype about this FETUS? Because the P.C. MSM can't afford to offend NOW or NARAL. A serial horror movie, "Fetus the 13th?" You may have hit on something, Cricket! The NOW and NARAL gang obviously live in grave horror of having, 'person,' status granted to ANY fetus, whether still inside, or already OUTSIDE the mother's body. Why else would they fight AGAINST the right of an expectant mother to have her unborn child considered a victim in a violent attack? Speaking of which, if it's, "not really a baby," then is the woman really a mother, until she gives birth???? Why did they keep referring to Laci's baby as her, "unborn," child. How is a child that is now outside the womb still an, "unborn," child? At least they finally stopped calling Connor a, "fetus." Perhaps I need several hits of the bong to answer these questions...who had it last??

[Cletus The Fetus]

re: I need several hits of the bong to answer these questions...who had it last??

[looooooong inhale]

I believe that would be me.

Booooya!

[Cletus the Rampaging Fetus]

[grabbing back the bong]

Pardon me... I wasn't done yet.

[Red Loser]

This raises the question: should a fetus born by Cesarean section count as a baby? A C-section involves cutting the pregnant woman open to remove the baby. This is exactly what took place in the above case, minus the doctors and anesthesia and surviving mother. However, the always-prescient media correctly continued to refer to the lifeless lump of cells as a "fetus." Clearly, IT is not a baby unless IT is born. This means that any fetus born by C-section is in fact not a human being but some sort of weird mutant monster incapable of normal human thoughts and desires.

Wait a minute. Has anyone done a study on how many Rethuglicans are born by C-section?

...

P.S. A couple of times I laughed out loud, Larry, which is rare for me when reading something online. Clearly, I need another hit from the bong.

[Kool-Aid Drinker's Domestic Partner]

Life imitates art -- this is just like that old movie, "Fetal Attraction."

[Pile On®]

Lar, do you have a medical degree?

I went with my lovely bride to visit her woman parts mechanic, and the "OB GYN" specifically said my wife had a parasite growing in her. The mechanic went on to inform us that my wife needed to increase her fuel intake because the parasite was going to take it's share with no consideration for my wife.

**exhale**....where was I going with this......

[JannyMae]

KoolAid, "Fetal Attraction!" LOL. I suppose that's what occurs at the, "fetus shower!" You know, when all the womyn get together and ooh and aah over all the little fetus clothes???

Profound, Pile On! Your insight again begs me to ask the question, "Is your wife a 'mother' before the 'parasite' is born?" If it is taking nutrients from her, then it MUST be living and growing, right? Of course, we could also make a case that a clump of cells could be growing. Oh, bother...wipe the spit off that bong and pass it over here, eh, Pile On?

[Pile On®]

Janny, that is deep, I will have to meditate on that one.

Spit on the bong? What, are you some kind of clean freak? The smoke like totally sterilizes it and stuff.

[beaverette]

Anyone can tell me where I could buy a
BABY-BONG ?

Its for a baby shower that I have to go to ,ya know...

[Cricket]

You know, that parasite growing in her is all part of the Halliburton fetus for oil program. She needs to increase fuel to feed the parasite, as the symbiont will die and so will the parasite. Happily, once the parasite has achieved full growth and subdivides from the symbiont, it CAN be fed with help from the Host Unit which would either be the biological way of all mammals or the Halliburton way of Formula Fuel. A baby bong would be a nice Fetal Attraction gift. I recommend Babies R Us.

And I forgot where I was going with this too.

Pile, you are seriously wickedly funny.

[simcha]

...still waiting for the msm to coin the word "fetusnapping."

[Friend of USA]

And what if this whole story was not true and just a creation of the Bush team to divert our attention from the real important questions ?

Like Rumsfeld not spending 85 hours a week on signing letters ?

[Bug's Butt]

You, sir, are the most brilliant satirist in the Blogosphere!

These posts are amazing. You should put them in a paperback book and sell them!

[CavalierX]

They're not actually pretending that a mere lump of insensate tissue could survive outside it mothe-- I mean, outside its host, are they? Everyone knows that a fetus lump isn't actually alive until it pays taxes.

[Vishnu Troll Daddy Earth Goddess]

Actually, I keep my tapeworms safe in a jar on the mantle, with proper nourishment adminstered by feeding tube. It's just easier that way.