RNK Coverage: The Smirkman Cometh

PBS sank to a new low last night and broadcast the convention in its entirety, including a very obnoxious speech by The Nazinator himself. What is it with the right-wing's constant political deification of no-talent pop icons?

Tonight, the Smirk speaks. There are rumors swirling that Cheney will take the opportunity to resign from the ticket and hand the VP spot over to maverick Senator John McCain. While quitting in the middle of a convention would surely electrify the GOP base, I suspect Cheney has something far more sinister up his sleeve. I wouldn't put it past him to wheel out Bin Laden tonight, whom they've been keeping on ice just for the most opportune moment. But these are all just rumors, mind you - rumors swirling around Dan Rather like a cloud of gnats.

I wonder how long the repugs can keep up this facade that they're all a bunch of friendly, level-headed moderates. Where are all the evangelicals? Where are the skinheads? We're two days into this thing and they haven't lynched one uppity nigra yet. No gays have been stomped, no abortion clinics have been bombed, and not a single woman has been forced to carry her unwanted pregnancy to term. Why are the republicans so afraid to show their true faces and be themselves?

Meanwhile, right outside the convention hall, there are no pretenses, no false fronts. Granted, a few clever female protesters have been showering and shaving their mustaches in order to blend in amongst the GOP delegates and surprise them with righteous, spittle-spraying screams of dissent - but the majority of activists marching this week make no secret of their true beliefs. In the passive-resistant spirit of Mohahtma Gandhi and Dr. King, an entire generation of pacifists have gathered together to deliver a message of peace and non-violence - even if they have to smash windows, rolls cars, set fires, and attack cops in order to be heard. Young America is finally rising up against the military/industrialist police state, and will leave no Nike Town unlooted in their noble struggle against neocapitalist materialism.

Besides, Che Guevara t-shirts make you look cool.

Comments

[JannyMae]

Larry, your insight is unequaled! Hilarious again!

[Cheney W. Halliburton]

Psyche.

[prettyold]

I think all that pink looks so sweet!!!

[aelfheld]

"[... ] rumors swirling around Dan Rather like a cloud of gnats."

I would think flies would have been a more appropriate image than gnats; Dan is more than a little past his sell-by date.

[La Femme Crickita]

And considering all the fertilizer Dan has spread around as 'news' and 'commentary'...well, why are we not surprised?

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