Kerry to Troops: "You Suck!"

John Kerry addressed members of the National Guard last Thursday, accusing Bush of living in a "fantasy world of spin" and "gilding the truth" about the War in Iraq

"Bush deceived you when he painted a rosy picture of the war yesterday," he told the crowd of grimacing veterans, "but conveniently failed to mention the rivers of blood and gore that flow down the streets of Bagdhad as we speak, chock full of charred American bodies and decapitated soldiers. The Commander-in-Chief needs to level with the American people and the nation about the pointless bloodbath Iraq has become, not lift them up with sugar-coated words of hope and inspiration. That's how I won the peace in Vietnam, and that's how I'll win it in Iraq."

Kerry, a highly decorated and thrice wounded Vietnam Veteran, kicked off the "Screw Morale, I Wanna Be President" leg of his campaign tour with his meandering, three hour Prophesy of Doom at a National Guard conference in Las Vegas, followed by a trip to a Clark County V.A. hospital to dispel any illusions of heroism and glory Bush may have put into the heads of our wounded soldiers.

"You're undermanned, underequipped, and undertrained," Kerry spoke to a wardful of troops in their hospital beds. "Let's face it, you guys suck. Heck, you weren't even supposed to be an Iraq to begin with - you should have been over in Afghanistan hunting for Osama Bin Laden. All the people you murdered, all the blood you spilt was for nothing...save perhaps Halliburton."

At last, someone who speaks the truth, as ugly as it may seem. After four long years of mindless, sunshine and lollipops rhetoric from the Bush junta, John Kerry is like a breath of fresh air.

"And YOU," he continued, pointing at a severely burned Marine with a medal pinned to his bandages. "You think that silly Purple Heart means anything? I got THREE and never saw the inside of a hospital."

After depressing the hell out of three more veterans hospitals, Kerry plans to spend the weekend making calls to the families of the over 1000 men and women who have died in Iraq thus far, to inform them of the "hard truth" that their kids died for no reason.

"It's time for America to decide whether they want a leader who smiles all the time and tells us fairy tales about how 'our best days are ahead of us', or one who will happily take a huge crap on national morale just to get into the White House," Kerry told reporters while riding atop a caravan of flag-draped coffins. "If you want a president who isn't afraid to lose a war in order to win the peace, then I'm John Kerry, reporting for duty!"

Comments

[bahabuddha™]

"Never saw the inside of a hospital"

WRONG! Kerry earned a Purple Heart while burning down a Vietnamese hospital. Melted baby-goo got on his hand and he won the Purple Heart (with an Iron Cross for valor).

[ycbme]

"John Kerry is like a breath of fresh air." I can't even say that without lmao!

[Crowe]

Quite possibly the best thing I've read here. Just true enough to be truly sad.

[Playpond]

I almost peed myself.

Someone pass the Depends so I can blog in my jammies and not have to get up and tinkle...

[La Femme Crickita]

OWOWOWOWOW! Larry, you are so hot! I am surprised he didn't remind them that Baghdad was burned in a manner reminiscent of Jinjis Kerry, and that all of it was really US committed atrocities.

[CavalierX]

If Kerry just keeps on telling the Freedom Fighters that they're on the verge of driving us out of Iraq, and telling people all over the world that the US is a bad country doing bad things, I don't see how he can fail to win the Presidency of a totally shamed and defeated US.

[Sobek]

Larry, you freakin' rule.

Seriously.

[spd rdr]

Wow, Larry. This kind of no-nonsense leadership will surely bring around those countries who were reluctant to go into Iraq under Bush.
"Say, Jaques! Iraq is a pointless bloodbath and the wrong bloodbath at the wrong time in the wrong country to boot! How about sending a few thousand troops over?"

Hell, it worked the other way in 1917.

[Vishnu Troll Daddy Earth Goddess]

Peace in our time. Peace at any price. Pull out all the troops. Dissent is the highest form of patriotism. Our Amerikkkan nation was founded on dissent. I support our troops. The best way to support our troops is to get them home, safe, now. Violence only begets violence. Only by understanding, tolerating, loving, and being as one with those we would destroy can be truly destroy them, for only then will the violence and hatred that fuels them dissipate and they become as we. Defeat terror by loving and embracing the terrorist. What would Jesus do? Shrub and the rest of the military-industrial complex pretend they are the party of the religious right--but doesn't Jesus say "turn the other cheek?" How many bombers would Jesus buy? Or would He spend our money instead on building homes and feeding the children? How have we forgotten the children? Bu$Hitler's illegal war has made the baby Jesus cry. How many of our children do we need to send off to die in the wrong war, in wrong place, at the wrong time, before Chimp admits he made a mistake? All we are doing is giving fuel to Bin Laden, who runs free while Saddam Hussein, who never posed an imminent threat, is locked in prison. And what is the long term affect of this "war for Daddy?" What permanent damage to our fragile ecosphere has taken place? What about the uranium in the ammunition? What about the irreversible drain on fossil fuels used to deploy so many troops? Is it a coincidence that the more troops we send, the more fuel we burn getting them there, and therefore the more money is made by Halliburton? And each life lost is a stain on the surface of Gaia Earth Mother, each shot fired a wound in her flesh. Every soldier lost is a loss to a family, to a loved one, to a child, to a puupy, to a rose garden. What about the roses? What about the children? Who will feed the puppies? Every soul, every spirit, every essence, every being, every facet of our ride on Spaceship Earth, is harmed by the continued reign of the illegitimately selected so-called "president" George Dubya Bushit. Only if we all get out the vote for Kerry on November 3 can we save ourselves from annihilation.

[Calliope]

"What about the irreversible drain on fossil fuels used to deploy so many troops? Is it a coincidence that the more troops we send, the more fuel we burn getting them there, and therefore the more money is made by Halliburton?"

----------

Wow. Profound Vishnu Troll Daddy Earth Goddess. I hadn't even considered that.

Pass the pipe.

[DuraMax]

You almost had me for sec. Larry!

Do some libs actually start agreeing with some of your rants?!

[Vishnu Troll Daddy Earth Goddess]

Liberal Larry is a true gift to we progressives. As a fellow traveller, we appreciate his relentless dedication to truth, despite the ever present shadow of Asscroft and his jackboots looming over our heads, thanks to the shameful abuse of the PATRIOT act. I don't just believe Larry, I look forward to reading daily, so I can keep abreast of the most important issues as November 3 approaches. If only more of we enlightened ones read this wonderful blog; we need to spread the word and tell all our liberal friends to come here for our daily dose of reality. If only all liberals could be shown the truth of Larry's posts; if only all Amerikkka could take this wisdom into the polling booths come November 3. I'll tell you where I'll be all day on November 2: e-mailing every correct-thinking potential voter I know, telling them to get out the vote for Kerry on the 3rd!

[Omedalus]

"but conveniently failed to mention the rivers of blood and gore that flow down the streets of Bagdhad as we speak..."

Gore is in Baghdad? Wow! What a brave and honorable man! This just goes to show that Dems are much better people than Repugnicans. I bet he's over there rallying our troops and inspiring them to win while simultaneously denouncing their mission and telling them they're dying in vain.

[johnb]

I don't know if my unit is atypical of Reserve units but I can tell you Kerry has near zero support in my Seabee unit. GI's know who stabbed us in the back each and every time they get the chance. The left hates us, they hate our mission, they hate what we stand for and I believe they are not upset at all when a GI dies in the line of duty. Ever since the animals took over the Donkeycrat party they have tried to disarm us and leave us at the mercy of the Soviets and now the Islamofascists. Their motivation is a profound and disturbing hatred of Western Civilization in general and America in particular. I wear the uniform in spite of these animals. However, you, the voters had better not stab us in the back on election day. Putting Kerry in office would be a clear statement from you to us of only two words:
Fuck you. Right now the military is not having a problem enlisting and re-enlisting troops. Put Kerry in and you will see the line at the door dissipate and those of us in waiting to get out. Early in World War II Winston Churchill told the British people "Deserve Victory!" Keep us in the field, keep us armed and prepared, we'll fight the Islamofascists in Baghdad. If you fail and put Kerry in the White House the NYPD will fight the Islamofasicsts in the streets of Manhattan. Your choice. Deserve Victory!

[Mike]

AWESOME! Nice capture of JF'in K

[Boner]

"Right now the military is not having a problem enlisting and re-enlisting troops. Put Kerry in and you will see the line at the door dissipate and those of us in waiting to get out."

Thank you Polyanna, wherever you are......

[johnb]

Mike,

You're an idiot.

It is not a "polyanna" mindset that would drive that result. Kerry did something no other President or Presidential candidate has managed to do. He degraded the military uniform.

1-He engaged in treasonous activities by meeting with and negotiating with America's enemies (the Viet Cong and the North Vietnamese) in 1971 in Paris while our troops were in the field. He did this while he was an officer in the US Naval Reserve. That would be no different than him meeting today with Osama in Pakistan to discuss OUR surrender.

2-He is the only self-confessed "war crimminal" to be nominated by a major party for President.

3-He fought like a rabid dog to deny us the weapons and the safety equipment we need to perform our mission all through his time in the Senate.

4-He is aiding the enemy now, whinning and bitching about our supposedly loosing the war.

There is no way in hell a GI could salute a commander in chief like John Kerry. It would be an indictment on OUR integrity and honor. If you, the electorate have a mass, simultaneous brain fart that causes you to loose control of your sense of decency, your ability to discern right from wrong, and your basic common sense you no longer deserve the sacrifices the men and women in the military lay down on a daily basis for you. Period. If you think Kerry would be such a hot President, get your ass down to the recruiting station. Of course, you leftists won't do that, military service is only something ignorant people volunteer for, you guys are too important to do anything like put your life on the line for the Constitution and people of America.

Voting for Kerry is a declaration by the individual voters to the men and women in the military that our lives, our honor, and our sacrifices for his nation are worthless. If you don't like that, don't vote for that treasonous piece of filth. Put the interests of the nation ahead of the interests of the Donkeycrat Party.

*I* will never salute a self-confessed "war crimminal" as commander in chief, it would put me in the same league as the members of the SS.

[johnb]

Mea Culpa,

I directed my post to Mike, sorry Mike, that one goes to the appropiratly identified "boner".

johnb

[Vishnu Troll Daddy Earth Goddess]

johnb is obviously a partisan right-wing hatemonger hack. How can any rational human seriously question the bravery, heroism, and service of John F. Kerry, who served in Vietnam? What about AWOL Bu$Hitler? Mister "Daddy got me into the Guard so I wouldn't die in 'Nam?" While Kerry was taking enemy fire, Shrub was drinking martinis at the O Club in between skipping physicals and not showing up for flight duty so he can help rich white republiKKKans get elected in 1972. And when he did actually come to work and wasn't too drunk to function, what did he do? Take joyrides on fighter jets doing loops around Alabama. Did Alabama face invasion? So in the end, all it really did was burn valuable and irreplaceable fossil fuel. That's right, it's all about the oil. Burn JP-5 at taxpayer expense, and Halliburton reaps all the profits. No wonder the Bush-Cheney connection goes back so far. No wonder Cheney was already getting entrenched into the military-industrial complex (thanks to all those draft deferements) as far back as the early 70's. It all loops back to King George Bush the First, who positioned himself as head of the CIA and defacto dictator of the military-industrial complex. And then ambassador to the UN, where he sowed the seeds for his New World Order--all to pave the way for his son King George the Second, selected, not elected, and put in power by the "ruling" of the Supreme KKKourt--conveniently comprised of 5 loyal republiKKKans including the Chief Justice, named to his position under the Reagan Junta (where King George Bush--KGB, get it?--the First ran the show as conciglieri), O'Conner, Scalia and Kennedy (chosen for his name, even though he is not related), also Reagan appointed--and of course Clarence "Uncle" Thomas, put in despite having raped his associate by KGB I himself. The whole thing goes back at least as far as 1964, when KGB I got his stupid chimp of a son into Yale and the secret Skull and Bones, despite his total lack of academic credentials. And 1964 was the year of the Goldwater revolution, expansion of military forces in Vietnam, and the filibuster of the Civil Rights Act. Coincidence? It all circles back. And what is most significant about 1964? That's the year that KGB I first began to shift his family fortune from its pre-WWII NAZI-based investment platform into the soon-to-expand oil industry and HALLIBURTON. Is it a coincidence that KGB I, now fully vested with his membership in the big-oil cartel, assumed the role of UN Ambassador just as the world entered into a oil crisis, fueled by Saudi control of the oil pipelines out of the Middle East? The same Middle East now being carpet bombed by Bu$Hitler, but so conveniently only in Iraq, which never posed a threat, and no where near Saudi Arabia, which was the home of 15 of the 9/11 hijackers? See how it all comes back again? Bushit I, his Chimp of a Son, Cheney, Halliburton, Saudi Arabia, blood for oil, the war in Iraq, no bid contracts...

AND YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO CRITICIZE JOHN KERRY?

[JannyMae]

Some people can do satire, and some people can't. Today's lesson I've learned reading BlameBush.com

[John Forbes Kerry]

The troops do suck. The fact that they're serving with honor is going to make it sort of hard for me to cut them off at the knees when I take command. But being President means making the tough choices, and I won't back down from my plan to win the peace by losing the war--unless the proper combination of polls, focus groups, pundits, coin flips, tarot, meteorology, Ouija, horoscopes, and ink blots tells me to.

Kudos to Vishnu Troll Daddy Earth Goddess. I'd like to co-opt your wonderfully concise rhetoric for my campaign, but it would be a disservice to you as I'd have to disavow your ideas even as I offered them. Such is the lot of a vacillating hypocrite. But no matter! I'll continue to lose hearts and minds as I scorch the earth on my way to the White House. Be there on January 20 when I dock my yacht in the Rose Garden.

[johnb]

Vishnu troll Creep sez:

"johnb is obviously a partisan right-wing hatemonger hack."

What I am is something you never were and will never be, a GI willing to put on a uniform and put my life on the line protecting your right to open your mouth and prove you are an idiot.

Period.

Kerry did not volunteer for, nor serve a tour in Vietnam. A tour in Vietnam was 12 months in duration. He "volunteered" for an assignment that would keep him off the coast of Vietnam and out of harms way. The Navy put him on the Swift boat against his will. He inflicted two paper cut wounds on himself and left Vietnam as quickly as he could, in four months. I have too many relatives who spent whole tours in Vietnam, one who did two tours and a second who did three tours to believe that Kerry's situation was just dumb luck. He actively campaigned to get out.

Kerry did something no other President or major party candidate did. He dishonored the uniform of the US military.

John Kerry is the only person in US history to run for President while being a self-confessed war crimminal. You leftwing cretins have no answer for that, he BRAGGED about it in 1971. Saluting John F'ing Kerry would make those of us in the military no different than the soldiers and sailors of the Kriegmarine, Luftwaffe, and Werhmacht who took orders from convicted war crimminals. We cannot do that and retain our honor. The US military prosecutes the men who commit war crimes.

If you leftist freaks think Kerry is what he says he is, get your lazy, dishonorable, disreputable and selfish bodies down to the recruiting station and PROVE it. YOU serve under a "President Kerry" because the rest of us would not do that. You cretins expect someone else to always risk their lives and do the dirty work of keeping you safe so you can run your damn mouths off about subjects you know nothing about. Grow up, take a bath, get a clue, and stop being a dumbass.

[Big Boogers Kerry]

Your website makes me want to blow my nose.
Your candidate make me think of boogers.
I hope Kerry loses and goes to the booger farm.

[odessyus]

If Kerry and Bush are the best candidates that this country can get to run for President then I'm investing in Chinese Communist War Bonds since it is obvious that they and the Saudi's are the winners in the future, not the US.

Democracy and the Republic are in the dying throes of the beginning of the downward ride for the Empire of the US.

It was such a great attempt, the US. It's a shame it failed.......

[Surrogate Pimp]

Oh my evil hate-filled God. This site is awesome! Sadly, with all the crap in the blogosphere, it actually took me a few minutes to figure it out.

Sorry I can't post much now. I have to polish off a six-pack, abuse my children, and exploit a minority.

Hail Bush!