"Fake" Guard Memos Damn Bush

The Bush campaign was hit with a ton of bricks last night as CBS' Sixty Minutes, Too! produced three Vietnam-era memos that cast a dark shadow on Bush's so-called service in the Texas Air National Guard. The typewritten documents came from the personal file of Dumbya's squadron commander, Jerry Killian, and contained damning evidence that a young George W. Bush refused to follow orders to undergo a medical examination:

A follow-up memo raised even more questions:

Alas, Bush's House of Lies comes tumbling down like a...big, tumbling thing. Not surprisingly, Bushie's mouthpieces wasted no time vainly trying to do damage control and save his AWOL backside. White House propaganda minister Dan Bartlett tried to keep a straight face when he told reporters that these memos proved Bush showed up for duty and "served honorably". Scott McClellan accused the democrats of launching a coordinated effort to smear Bush (talk about the Swift Boat Liar calling the kettle black). The jackboots of the blogosphere tossed their little green footballs into the ring of deception as well, pathetically claiming that the memos are fakes...as if that's even relevant!

Apparently, some right-wing clowns are under the misguided belief that the typestyle and font spacing could not have been produced on any typewriter that existed 32 years ago. CBS, of course, stands by the authenticity of the documents, and refuses to reveal the name of any bald, pointy-faced individual with a thick Cajun accent who may or may not have put the memos on Dan Rather's desk.

I, for one, refuse to believe that 60 Minutes would ever, ever, EVER stretch the truth or lie just to paint Bush in a bad light. But let's play the devil's advocate, just for giggles. Suppose these memos are indeed clever fakes. Suppose someone used MS Word to create bogus memos questing Bush's military record. Then someone please explain to me exactly how Karl Rove could travel back to 1972, word processor in tow, create fake documents, and then place them in Killian's file just to make democrats and CBS look like a bunch of desperate, bush-hating twits? The man is an evil genious, perhaps the antichrist himself, but even he doesn't possess the ability to travel through time.

Sorry, repugs, but you just won't be able to spin your way out of this one. Bush missed two days of Texas Air National Guard duty during Vietnam, and now the world is a living Hell because of it.

UPDATE: Dan the Man concurs with my comment that the authenticity of the documents is irrelevent; it's what's in them that matters:

"I want to make clear to you, I want to make clear to you if I have not made clear to you, that this story is true, and that more important questions than how we got the story, which is where those who don't like the story like to put the emphasis, the more important question is what are the answers to the questions raised in the story, which I just gave you earlier."

Comments

[bahabuddha™]

You forgot #3: Remember to TiVo "Everybody Loves Raymond"

[La Femme Crickita]

Larry, with you around I don't need my pain meds.
I just laugh myself to sleep. You are a breath of fresh air on the dead fish of the Repugnant Party. Heaven help the Democrats should you ever turn on them.

[cube]

karl rove....

kicking the democrats ass since 1973

[DeShizzle]

Whether these documents were "true" or "genuine" is an interesting little brain teaser (political geeks can argue about whether the old IBM Selectric had this or that font), but the information contained in them is still correct. It's been established (to my satisfaction) that little Shrub was a coke fiend who spent his young days wacked out on angeldust, zipping around the sky at Mach 2, shirking his Guard duties, while John Kerry defied VC mortars to pluck injured comrades out of the river with his wounded arm gushing blood into the water.

[La Femme Crickita]

DeShizzle...
You are almost as good as Lib Larry. I am not worthy...

[Myria]

Ah yes, just keep screaming "We will bury you!" and slamming that shoe, that'll get you far...

Not.

Myria

[Vishnu Troll Daddy Earth Goddess]

Well, it's no surprise that KKKarl Rove and the kristian coalition have sent these fake documents to CBS. It's more of Bushitler's preemption policy. Now they have preemptively discredited the real documents proving Bushit was an awol deserter while Kerry was taking enemy fire for his country, which are sure to surface soon. Never (s)elect a son of a Bush!

[JannyMae]

Love the second Carvil---er--Killian memo above!

[Strangelove]

Larry-

Wow. Good job. Shrub and Cheneyburton aren't fooling anybody with their R.Mellon Skafe funded deflection from the truth!. Have you heard about Area-76 yet?.....It's crazy, but it's Reichspublika, so of course it's true: Shrub and Cheneyburton are plotting to secret trillions of barrels of 87 octane gas in vast underground PVC storage tanks. This way, they can leverage us into submission when the time is right. They're really, really,really,realllllly scary, these Repukes.

[Cheney W. Halliburton]

We actually did succeed in sending a Word 2003 CD back in time to 1973 in hopes that someone back then would use it to write something inciminating about my ... certain friend so that we could debunk it.

Trouble is, we forgot to send a computer back in time that could read the disc. So the memo's GOT to be a forgery.

Unless one of us decides to send the computer back next week. Hmmm...

[jjordin]

"Bush missed two days of Texas Air National Guard duty..."

Hey, man, those two days count for the whole month, so really, he missed an ENTIRE MONTH of duty. Add that to the 30 days since his last duty and the 30 days until his next duty...that's like 3 months. After you've misses 3 months of duty you can't tell me you will come back and be 100%, so that's another month down the crapper. And you know the month before all this started he was totally sidetracked thinking about his 4 months of Guard-duty-free vacation coming up, so scratch that month, too. Now if we add it up and apply standard rounding, that's 6 months that Dumbya was AWOL! Why don't we hear about this in the media?!

[La Femme Crickita]

What was that mouthful of mush Dan Rather was mumbling?
We don't 'like' the story? There isn't going to be a
(I think he choked on this word) a 'what did you say, apology?'

It isn't a question of not liking the story, SFBs.
It is a question of the authenticity of the material you used to TELL THE STORY. CBS' credibility is at stake and you have an old fart prima don who thinks he is above the integrity of the profession to tell the story based on the truth.

Memo to me: Rather is a pompous, arrogant journalist.
backdate the story and do not rate. Do not cover his a$$.

SFBs (sh*t for brains)

Not you Larry. You are the Radiant Being of Light in the blogosphere.

[Carolynn]

Thank you Larry for keeping this story in the spotlight. This story should be the NUMBER ONE THING everyone thinks about when they are voting this year! After all, when voting for a president you really want to focus on what he was doing 30 years ago as a stupid 20 something -- not on his/her record for the past four.

[JannyMae]

Let's see, Staudt retired in 1972, the memo is dated 1973....hmmm. Doesn't seem to be anything suspicious there, to me!

[Cheney W. Halliburton]

Obviously Gen. Staudt was like that guy in Slaughterhouse Five, living his life out of sequence. That way he could have retired before he ordered Killian to protect Bush, but still have been on duty on the day the memo was issued.

I can believe that.

I can also believe that Dan Rather craps M&M's.

[Liberal Larry]

Actually, Staudt was a bully-type who exerted pressure and influence on the enlisted men even after he had himself retired. Sort of like Michael Ironside in Scanners. If you disobey him, your brain will fry inside your skull and your head will explode. Dan Rather is immune to Staudt's psychic attack, as his brain works on a totally different frequency: one commonly found in lower primates, mentally challenged children, and TV news personalities. Revok...er, Staudt..has sent operatives to obtain the frequency to no avail.

There, I just ruined my next blog entry.

[JannyMae]

Yep! Nothing suspicous about this....Move along, nothing to see here, folks...move along!

[La Femme Crickita]

Oh stop it. I am hurting again. I can see it now:
Liberal Larry's blog entries are the next Big Thing after JK Rowling's plot spoilers that she keeps quiet about.
Good night all.

[dvgulliver]

Next thing you know, Dan will be claiming he is the new Queen of the Space Unicorns.

Oh wait, he already is:

http://jimtreacher.com/archives/000958.html

[L aFemme Crickita]

Long Live the Queen!

[JannyMae]

I don't know, I've heard of the King of the Space Unicorns, but I didn't think they had a Queen. Dan doesn't seem like he would be the King's, "type." Are you sure that's not a made up story?

[JannyMae]

"I want to make clear to you, I want to make clear to you if I have not made clear to you, that this story is true, and that more important questions than how we got the story, which is where those who don't like the story like to put the emphasis, the more important question is what are the answers to the questions raised in the story, which I just gave you earlier."
Larry, your insight in unbelievable! This is almost, word for word, what Dan said last night!

[yorel]

Look in Sandy Berger's pants.