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Larry, it's official. You're nuts. But please don't stop blogging.


Good points, Lar, but one thing you didn't mention about President Kerry's Purple Hearts is that he got them without having to spend any time in the hospital. When Tommy and Colon and those guys finally managed to get theirs, how long did they each lay in a hospital bed, whimpering and whining? A man like Kerrry could've shown them how it's done.


The way I hear the purple hearts were from his attempts to cauterize his gunshot wounds ala Rambo:First Blood with gunpowder.

Liberal Larry

Franks' and Powell's wounds were obviously superficial, because they kept right on fighting after they received them. Franks didn't even go to the hospital after his first "injury" - he went to the BAR and had a couple beers! It was only after someone asked him to please quit spraying blood all over the place that he decided to milk his "wound" for a Purple Heart and some free R&R.

Cheney W. Halliburton

I understand Kerry wants more Purple Hearts from all the occasions in this campaign when he's shot himself in the foot.


OMG. Another brilliant post Larry.

Hell if Kery had stayed in the military he'd need a truck just to haul all the medals to the capitol (for their eventual pitching).

I have to say...I don't know why the reich-wing media hasn't cut through the crap on this like you have Larry. Its very disappointing that Kerry's heroism isn't getting out. I mean...its virtually a SECRET! Hardly anyone even knows Kerry served in Vietnam much less that he set an incredible record for getting medals in a few short weeks. From what I've seen on DU he was then virtually dragged kicking and screaming from the battlefield (due to the brainwashing and all).

Its so typical of the corporate media to ignore the noble heroism of a real MAN like John F Kerry due to their worship of a disgusting traitor like dumbya.

Keep it up Larry. The truth will out.

Kerry in 04! He can get a medal faster than Tommy Franks!


I feel compelled to recommend to everyone, "To Hell and Back," the old biographical movie of Audie Murphy. It stars, :Surprise!: Audie Murphy and is the best war movie I have ever seen! ((Larry, that was a great link about Audie Murphy)

Liberal Larry

Yeah, if any of you have qualms about Kerry getting a Bronze Star for shooting a wounded Viet Cong teen in the back - Audie Murphy went Tony Montana on an entire German platoon and they gave him a Congressional Medal of Honor for it.


A soilder with 3600 purplehearts would not be fit to lead any troops. Remember that purplehearts are for getting shot or whatnot. A good soilder tries to avoid reciveing this scared award! Go hug a tree hippies!


Reading that last post, I just got a picture in my brain of John Kerry with 3600 band-aids! Totally awesome!


Uhm, "Liberal" Larry, you don't know how RPG's work. There is a minimum distance for the fuse to activate (this is so that the guy shooting the thing doesn't blow his own head off). These things use a shaped charge, so if you shoot them from too close, they bounce off harmlessly (thus why the M109's had "squirrel cages" around them, to catch the RPG's before they hit the 'track so that the shaped charge blew harmlessly some distance away from the 'track). Kerry saw the dude bringing the RPG up to shoot his boat, rammed the throttles open and rammed the boat on shore, and then was TOO CLOSE for the RPG to fuse. (Apparently he did this on purpose, having decided, with a split second to think about it, that he couldn't outrun the RPG and would get sunk otherwise). The kid with the RPG (there were six year old kids being used as soldiers by the V.C., so a teen is actually an old man by V.C. terms) then started running back to get to a distance where he could shoot the boat without the RPG just bouncing off harmlessly due to not traveling far enough to fuse. Basically, if a man has an RPG, you shoot him even if -- or ESPECIALLY if -- his back is to you, because you know he's just getting to a position where he can turn around and blow your boat out of the water. Like my Daddy always taught me, "Never argue with a man with a gun" (or an RPG). You either kill the S.O.B. or surrender to him, but you sure as hell don't give a **** about nicities with him.

Meanwhile, George W. Bush sat in that Florida classroom with a stunned look on his face for SEVEN MINUTES after being told, "our nation is under attack, Mr. President". Some decisiveness! Not to mention his awesome job back in 1970 of defending the shores of the gret stet of Texas by holding all-day beach volleyball parties (oh the horror! Oh the sunburn! Medic! MEDIC!). Why, not a single V.C. guerilla ended up getting past our Great Leader while he was so valiently defending the shores of Texas!

- Badtux the Snarky Penguin

Liberal Larry

You're preaching to the choir, BadTux. I think it's fantastic that Kerry killed that gook in a pointless war of aggression against peaceful agrarian reformers. He should put it on his website. Make it part of his platform. "John Kerry killed an Innocent Gook for No Reason. George Bush Killed 150 Million Innocent Iraqis for No Reason. Vote John Kerry in 2004!"

As for Bush in the Florida classroom - the reason he sat there for 6 minutes was because he actually planned the attacks himself. It was no big surprise. Dick Cheney had everything under control. A true leader would have leapt to his feet, screamed like a woman, and ran out of the building like his hair was on fire.

And although John Kerry sat stunned, staring at the wall for 40 minutes during the 9/11 attacks, as president he would have been on the phone to France just like THAT!

Bad Commie



What is worse, Stalin, Hitler or Bush?


Yo Badtux - If Vietnam was a pointless mistake like John Kerry says, then Bush did more to defend our country in the Texas Air National Guard then Kerry did on that swift boat. He certainly defended us more than ol' Bill Clinton did when he fled the country to avoid the draft.

I think its fantastic that after 45 years of being anti-military and anti-troops, all it took was one socialist clown with a 4-month combat record to turn you guys into patriots. I suspect, though, that if Colin Powell were running against Kerry, you'd still be telling us that military service is unimportant and draft dodgers should be commended for the courage to stand up for what they believe in.

Janet Oliver

....what Rob said!

Jackboot Bernhardt

Yeah, Badtux, I mean really, we all KNOW Bush could have used those 7 minutes to jump in the nearest phone booth, don his tights and cape, leap into the skies, and singlehandedly pluck people by the dozens out of the burning Twin Towers!


Lib Lar- When will people stop doubting Kerry and understand that we have an outstanding candidate, greater than all other American heroes put together? Why, some traitor at a Democrat (Democrat I tell you) symposium even said that if John Kerry were a sack of cement they'd carry him to victory. Some sack! Some cement!

This is a man that can be in two places at once, facing both ways, all of which while mortally wounded- and that's just when he's in Congress. His critics are just plain weird.


>When will people stop doubting Kerry

When he stops lying.


Whoops, lost control of myself for a second there. :)

Cheney W. Halliburton

John Kerry does NOT lie. He nuances. Everybody get that straight or he'll have the DNC's lawyers send you a scary letter.

Medaille Militaire

Fantastic article, LL, on Kerry's heroic rate of bagging medals! When Kerry is President, he should wear his ribbons and medals proudly for all the world to see. I'm betting he can still find them somewhere on the White House lawn.

Just wanted to give you heads up that Kerry actually might have another medal that he can't tell us about, because he earned it on that secret mission during Christmas in Cambodia. Nobody seems to know much about the Cambodian operation, except that it may have been in support of Daniel Ortega. What can you find out?

Of course, Kerry will deny that he ever admitted to being there; he humbly and sincerely has no wish for his heroism and time in 'Nam to be made an issue in this campaign. That's why your site is so vital to his election, LL. The fast-medal hero is just not a self-promoter.


Unfortunately for poor Senator Kerry, his wretched war wounds have cost him plenty. That tends to be the case when an inspiring patriot bravely faces Botox. Imagine the suffering caused by hours of Barbie-like smiling. It has to be more humiliating than that paratrooper raid from "What Not to Wear" after his "original" hair style went over so well early in the campaign. Can't his... ummm... "cultured" wife say "What the ----??" in five languages?? Didn't they have PR people for God's sake? All he needed was the crack down the forehead and some retro KISS platform shoes!! A couple of little knobs in the neck would have been a nice touch.

Hey BadTux... do you realize you described the valor of Timothy McVeigh's performance in the Gulf War perfectly? Did Kerry steal that story from that stellar American hero's book? What a sly dog!

La Femme Crickita

I am so incensed that you belittled Gen. Franks in that manner. How dare he not toot his horn! How dare he keep his heroism to himself! What a creep. And then he goes and writes a book without waiting 50 years for any of it to be declassified. Well, he sure has a lot to learn from Kerry the Hamster rescuing war hero.

Brilliant and that goes for all the comments up to mine.


Oh my GOD! That's is the funniest thing I have read in a long time. Beats the Onion. Embarrasses Scrappleface. Makes P.J. O'Rourke look in the mirror and wonder how he turned out so damn humorless.


I swear I heard Jim Rassman refer to John Kerry as Bill Braskey once in an interview.

Franks is a punk...Audie Murphy couldn't make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for Kerry...and Bob Dole should give up his Viagra endorsement contract to John Kerry....that sob.

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