Stop being so hard on sweet ol' Uncle Sandy Berger! It was an innocent mistake and could happen to anybody. Poor Uncle Sandy is tearing himself apart with guilt over this unfortunate incident, and for what? A bunch of silly little papers about terrorists or some such nonsense. How many of us can say we've never absent-mindedly stuffed classified documents into our socks? Hardly anything to throw yourself off a bridge over.
"I deeply regret the sloppiness involved, but I had no intention of withholding documents from the commission...and to the contrary, I had several strings tied to my fingers just to remind me not to," a sobbing Uncle Sandy said in a statement.
Bless his heart.
Sure, Uncle Sandy's a little confused at times, but he's a got a heart of gold and wouldn't harm a fly. Why, he was up all night with Bert, Ernie, Martini, and Mr. Gower, searching every last inch of Bedford Falls in the FREEZING SNOW for your precious little "memos". Bumbling and befuddled though he may seem, Uncle Sandy's a professional, dammit, and deserves to be accorded some respect!
Frankly, if you want the real culprit, then perhaps you should take a look at long, hard look at Old Man Cheney. That warped, frustrated old codger has been trying to gain control of Bailey Savings & Loan for years, and I wouldn't put it past him to swipe those memos just to watch Uncle Sandy take the fall. He sits there, spinning his little webs, thinking the WHOLE WORLD revolves around him and his money. Well, it doesn't, Mr. Cheney! I'd say that in the whole, vast configuration of things, you're nothing more than a scurvy little spider!
And that goes for YOU, too!
Hey, great perspective on another poor victim of the VRWC!
Posted by: JannyMae | July 20, 2004 at 03:14 PM
By the way, I saw Daschle on tv, and he said about the same thing you did.
Posted by: JannyMae | July 20, 2004 at 03:17 PM
http://normansrant.blogspot.com - for some reason typepad thinks it's an invalid url in the url box.
I think he was only trying to "improve" the image of his "package" for Jamie Gorelick. Why else would you stuff papers in your pants?
Posted by: Norman | July 20, 2004 at 06:13 PM
<evil, curmudgeonly chortle>
Posted by: Cheney W. Halliburton & the Neo Conga Ball | July 20, 2004 at 06:15 PM
Yes, curse you Bailey -- er, I mean Liberal Larry, your comment script is rejecting any and all web URLs. Did Senator Leaky put you up to this?
Posted by: Cheney W. Halliburton & the Neo Conga Ball | July 20, 2004 at 06:16 PM
The URL thing seems to be working now. It must've been a temporary glitch caused by Bush's sunspots.
Posted by: Liberal Larry | July 20, 2004 at 07:03 PM
<steeples fingers>
Excellent!
Posted by: Cheney W. Halliburton & the Neo Conga Ball | July 20, 2004 at 09:25 PM
Yeah, leave poor Sandy alone! He obviously was so tramatized by seeing all the young floozies going for Clinton instead of him that he became a compulsive pants-stuffer. The mentally ill need our understanding, not our condemnation!
Posted by: Jackboot Bernhardt | July 20, 2004 at 09:56 PM
If we shoot him, there will be no one to feel sorry for.
Posted by: Bad Commie | July 21, 2004 at 04:29 AM
My teacher said that every time you hear a bell ring, Sandy Berger stuffs another classified document down his pants.
Posted by: Allen | July 21, 2004 at 06:18 AM
if i remember correcty treason is a offense punishable by death.
Posted by: cube | July 21, 2004 at 07:50 AM
Now, Cube, that seems a little drastic. After all, he only slipped a few documents down his pants and in his socks. I mean, who would want to look at those documents NOW, anyway?
Posted by: JannyMae | July 23, 2004 at 10:18 AM