Upon the capture of "Saddam" last December, I posted a theory that the ousted Iraqi leader might in fact be grizzled character actor, Jack Elam...or at least an ingenious animatronic fascimile. Every few weeks, Bush could wheel out this little pet of his and have him recite the democrat party platform, thus making us progressives look like a bunch of raving, anti-American nutjobs. Well now the badger's out of the potato sack, amigos.
Insisting on being addressed as "Turkey Creek Zeke Calhoun, President of Iraq", the faux Saddam appeared defiant and combative, referring to one young judge as a "low down, yellow-bellied sidewinder" lacking the legal authority to try him. During another heated exchange, "Saddam" threw down his coon-skin cap in disgust and called Kuwaitis "no good, egg-sucking dogs". But it was when Hussein took a swig from a jug of whiskey and denounced Bush as a "mangy, mealy-mouthed polecat" who went to war to steal Iraq's oil and "put a burr under Allah's saddle" that I knew we were being sold a bill of goods.
Bush may think he's fooling us with this latest scheme of his, and you can butter my butt and call me a biscuit if alot of right-wingers don't fall for it. But those of us who aren't blinder than a bat on grampa's moonshine see this charade for what it really is: just another wagon-load of GOP snake oil.
Well, you've done it now, Larry. Rumsfeld is going to have poor, innocent, not to mention, ANCIENT, Jack Elam picked up and hauled down to Guantanamo! I hope you're satisfied! Stop giving those evil Nazi repugs ideas!!!!
Posted by: JannyMae | July 01, 2004 at 12:32 PM
Uhhh, scratch that...Elam died last year...or did he???
Posted by: JannyMae | July 01, 2004 at 12:34 PM
Yeah, and they said Al-Zarqawi was dead, too.
Posted by: Liberal Larry | July 01, 2004 at 01:19 PM
I like your theory. I was also suspicious when I saw the pictures of faux Saddam's "capture" last year. First of all, he was quite well-to-do in his day, and it didn't seem realistic for him to be so grizzled and bleary-eyed (not to mention the fact that he was in a hole in the ground!). Hussein boldly declared that he would go down fighting, but when they found [so-called] him, he was holding a pistol, but didn't use it. Things didn't add up.
I wish all of the American sheeple were as tough to fool as we are.
Posted by: Dubya the War Criminal | July 01, 2004 at 01:24 PM
JannyMae, you have to remember that Jack Elam died in nearly every role he ever played. Of course he could act dead as part of Bush's nefarious scheme. And he'll undoubtedly die in his present role too.
Posted by: McGehee | July 01, 2004 at 03:16 PM
McGehee, Wow, I never thought of that!
Posted by: JannyMae | July 01, 2004 at 05:21 PM
>Uhhh, scratch that...Elam died last year...or did he???
You mean... the same year that they pulled the fake "Saddam" out of a hole in the ground to make it look like they "captured" him? Yeah, that "coincidence" just proves Larry correct once again!
Posted by: CavalierX | July 01, 2004 at 05:44 PM
And could Elam Hussein's appearance have hastened the death of Marlon Brando? Very insightful...
Posted by: The Devil You Know | July 02, 2004 at 08:46 AM
Is Marlon Brando really dead?
Posted by: JannyMae | July 12, 2004 at 11:31 AM