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SpaceMonkey

Notice how the cicadas have markings that look like a skull and bones? Coincidence? Hah! Conspriracy.

RWDrummer

I laughed so hard I wet my pants!!
OH NO.... The cicadas are after meeeeee!!!

CavalierX

Notice the ominous similarities:

Cicadas sleep for 17 years between attacks... al-Qaeda agents operate in "sleeper cells" to attack.
2004 will be the largest cicada emergence in history... and intelligence estimates indicate that there are 18,000 al-Qaeda operatives still alive, the most we've known about in history.
Last but not least... "cicada" sounds kind of like "al-Qaeda", doesn't it?

g

And there came out of the smoke locusts upon the earth: and unto them was given power, as the scorpions of the earth have power.

Calliope

Whoa. Larry my respect for you has gone up another notch. I can't believe you've managed to uncover this vast conspiracy on your own. I fear for your life my friend!

You need to call Mikey Moore and give your studies to him so he can document them in his next film on the evil Bushites.

Kerry in 04! He eats Cicadas! (prepared by a French Chef, of course)

Bush=Hitler

Very good original research. I'm curious to see if the right-wing corporate news media gives any attention to this. My guess is they bury the story, further demonstrating their conservative bias.

By the way, think of who would gain from the massive destruction caused by these cicadas -- Halliburton, who would win huge reconstruction contracts.

Moi ;)

Shoot, I thought it was just flies buzzing around his head....

Better than you

"An angry cicada chased Bush across the White House lawn yesterday, and yet he still refuses to acknowledge his role in the biblical plague of giant insects that has all but shut-down the entire eastern seaboard. In fact, when this natural phenomenon was predicted several weeks ago, scientists warned that it could be the largest emergence of cicadas in recent history. Yet, Bush did nothing."

Bush? Responsible for a cicada plauge? Is Idiocy the official religion of Liberals?

"Of course, one could easily conclude that Bush planned the cicada emergence in order to divert attention from the Abu Ghraib attrocities. However, I suspect the rabbit hole goes much deeper than that, Dorothy."

One could also conclude that you've been taking the "happy pills" again.

"Cicadas are nothing to trifle with. While attacks on humans are rare, swarms of cicadas have been known to carry off small animals. I'll never forget the day my mother took my childhood pet, a little dachsund name "Trotsky", for a morning walk...only to return several hours later clutching the mangled remains of Trotsky's leash.

"The cicadas got him," mother explained. "They'll get you, too, if you keep pissing the sheets!"

No words could do this load of crap justice.

"The next summer I turned 19, and the infamous Iran Contra scandal was the talk around the water cooler. Geedumbya was CEO of Harken Energy, the huge oil conglomerate that had ties to José Bin Laden, Osama Bin Laden's 38th cousin and Hairdresser to the Stars. Robocop was shooting up the silver screen, the Bangles had a number one hit with Walk Like an Egyptian, and what would one day become the largest cicada emergence in the history of the world was at that very moment burrowing into the soil."

I hope you realize drugs are bad.

"Connect the dots, folks. Bush is no fan of The Bangles. He never attended one single concert, bought any of their recordings, or allowed cameras to photograph their flag-draped coffins. Why? Because he hates all-girl rock bands, that's why! Recall how he ruined the careers of the Dixie Chicks for merely criticizing him. It wouldn't be a stretch to conclude that Bush planted the noisy insects in 1987 to deafen the masses and drive The Bangles' album sales even further down the crapper."

Yes, It would be a stretch. It wouldn't be a stretch to see you need to stop drinking

"Granted, Bush would have to plant the cicadas 17 years in advance to affect the Bangles, and the Dixie Chicks were in grade school in 1987. Dumbya may be the most diabolical villian since Ming the Merciless, but I doubt he can predict the future. However, one can easily look into the past and discern a bizarre pattern forming among presidential administrations, 17-year cicada emergences, and all-girl bands:

Cicada Emergences
2004: Republican President, George Bush, The Dixie Chicks
1987: Republican President, Ronald Reagan, The Bangles
1970: Republican President, Richard Nixon, The Supremes
1953: Republican President, Dwight D. Eisenhower, The McGuire Sisters
1936: Republican President, Herbert Hoover, The Andrew Sisters
1919: Republican President, Woodrow Wilson, Art Hickman and His Amazing All-Girl Orchestra
And the list goes on and on and on."

You've pointed out the fatal flaw in your argument. Try the excuse of Time Travel. It has less holes.

As the facts have shown, this "emergence" is simply part of a cycle set in motion decades ago...a sinister, century old-conspiracy to systematically crush popular all-girl musical acts before they have a chance to breed and pass their big hair down to future generations."

As the facts show, your story has more holes than Swiss Cheese

"It's all right there in the Book of Revelations, folks...9:3."

Wrong. The Bible says Locusts, scorpionlike ones to boot. Just a slight difference.

some one that knows you lie

your just making up a lot of bull bush is a great pres. and stop[ filling peoples minds with your makebleve storys and shut up your a retard.

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