When Sarah Palin was given a court order to turn her private emails over to the Obama campaign, she flatly refused. Now, a resourceful group of patriots have liberated those emails from her illegal and immoral inbox, revealing a dark truth about the Alaskan pigslut that may put the final nail in her political coffin:
Sarah Palin doesn't know how to use emoticons.
I'll spare you all the gorey details about the actual content of the emails. It's of little consequence when you look at the big picture and realize with shock and horror that the Governor of Alaska and possible Vice PeeResident wouldn't know a smiley from a lipstick-smeared pig.
First of all, she constantly puts a dashed line indicating a nose in her smiley, which hardly anyone in Washington does anymore:
Killed and gutted a baby moose with my teeth today! :-)
Palin may think it makes her look like an outsider, but it's really just annoying.
In some emails, the emoticon is backwards, or has too many spaces between the eyes and the mouth:
My daughter's child was conceived with a Kenyan Witch doctor on the altar of Satan! ( - :
If that's the way Palin draws her smilies, imagine how much more she'll screw up our economy.
In other instances, her sentences are alarmingly missing an emoticon altogether, leaving the reader at a total loss as to whether she was being sincere or sarcastic:
I hope this Down's Syndrome Kid I'm cursing with the gift of life doesn't turn out to be queer.
Such a lack of transparency in government is par for the Repug course, but Palin goes too far.
We already know that McCain can't use a keyboard. Now he wants to put a woman who doesn't have any clue about proper emoticon usage just a heartbeat away from the Presidency? Thankfully, Americans have been awakened to Palin's gross incompetence now, before she managed to steal her way into office.
Don't get me wrong - I by no means condone what those hackers did. But I find it ironic that the same neocons who turned a blind eye as Bush listened in on Al Qaeda's phone calls, are now crying "invasion of pricacy" when it has happened to someone that progressives don't like.