HOAX ALERT!!

I apologize to my readers, but it appears that the previous story was actually a hoax. I guess I should maybe do a little journalistic research into these things before I post them here.

In retrospect there were a couple of things in the story that should have tipped me off.

As if Celine Dion could even find a homeless drug addict who would want to sleep with her.

Comments

[Phist of Etiquette]

Chomstein, you a-hole. You've made us all look like fools. FOOLS!!! I want my credibility back.

[DancesWithBullets]

Very artistically done. I feel embiggend.
You are the master of performance art.

[Im.mad.as.HELL!]

So, whats new!

Hoax/Fact
MSM/Blame Bush
Move On/Fox News
Evening News/Satire
Left/Right
Art/Shit

Fits right in as far as I can see. Keep plugging away Larrrrrrryyyyyyyy 8^)

[T1]

It’s Fake butt Accurate (FBA).

I am sure most journalists would agree that feelings count more that fact.

Hence, there is no need for Liberal Larry to apologize.

[Che Gaiavera]

I guess I should maybe do a little journalistic research into these things before I post them here.

I disagree completely, Lar. After all, what is journalism if not the ultimate form of performance art, a creative fiction designed to draw attention to the ambiguities of truthiness? Don't get too caught up in the details. You achieved your goal and got the buyline.

You have a brilliant career ahead of you with Reuters.

[Menstrual Rainbow]

Still at least some artists are prepared to risk the backlash from kkkonservative knuckle heads:
http://www.iol.co.za/index.php?set_id=1&click_id=139&art_id=vn20080413075735237C412575

[Fist of Etiquette]

I don't miss the Rorschach Tests that whatshisface was putting up with his articles. That last one looked like the nuns informing me how Jesus cries everytime I abuse my body. The one before that was a giraffe sucking the juice out of a giant strawberry, while the specter of Roy Orbison looks on.

Both interpretations suggest a deep rooted distrust of for-profit oil companies, and both sent me running back to the solace of the happy trees of my Bob Ross collection.

[Bush4Ever]

Dan Rather swears it's true.

[me24]

Hey! Guys! If you see that bored Australian defense analyst anywhere, tell him there's a job going as a lighthouse-keeper in Canada. Great job for a laugh.

[feelthelove]

You got fired from your job as lighthouse-keeper? How thick is that?

[Son of the South]

Truthy!

Have a nice day,
SoS

[T1]

Intellectually speaking, in a carefully controlled study 9 out of 10 Reuters editors preferred Fake butt Accurate stories – even if they had to print a small retraction in the help wanted ads.

Larry has a bright future with such esteemed organizations as, Reuters, the AP or SeeBS.

And, I am sure Evergreen University will be passionate about the additional publicity.

Just picture a transsexual midget having an abortion in the middle of Gender studies class while covered with feces. Whoopi Goldberg would also demonstrate surgical intricacies of an anal polyp extraction with a rusty coat hanger. The artistic qualities would be wonderful.

Sure it may be a little odoriferous but circle of journalist snapping photos would be well worth it.

It just makes you want to back to college and start a masturbators thesis in journalism… I mean masters thesis in journalism.

[Hey Mista. Need a watch?]

Great! Now what will I do with all my counterfeit "My Heart will go on" Blood and Feces Smeared Edition CD's?

[RIAA of Etiquette]

Each of you can be expecting a letter from our lawyers. Get out your checkbooks, bitches.

[xxxxliberal]

Lawyers? Who trusts lawyers??

[xxxxliberal]

A physician, an engineer and a lawyer were arguing about whose profession was the oldest. The surgeon announced, "Remember how God removed a rib from Adam to create Eve? Obviously, medicine is the oldest profession."

The engineer replied, "But before that, God created the heavens and the earth from chaos, in less than a week. You have to admit that was a remarkable feat of engineering, and that makes engineering an older profession than medicine."

The lawyer smirked, and said, "Who do you think created the chaos?"

[Hey Mista. Need a watch?]

Did I say counterfeit? I meant copies I got from the discount bin at the A&P.

[Fist of Etiquette]

McCain questions Obama radical ties

William Ayers — a former member of the Weather Underground, which embraced bombing in its effort to end the Vietnam War — became an issue in the Democratic nominating race at last week’s debate.

And Lt. Cmdr. McCain wasn't trying to do the same thing with his bombs? What a hypocrite.

[Metallica (Back before we totally sold out)]

Each of you can be expecting a letter from our lawyers. Get out your checkbooks, bitches.

We'd like to make an amicus curiae statement...

[Hey Mista. Need a watch?]

Does anyone have an e-bay account I can market some slightly damaged Celine Deon cd's? Trying to recoup my investment - will split profit 50/50. CD's will come packaged in a biohazard container.

Would do it myself. But, computer is on the fritz.

[mandible claw]

It just makes you want to back to college and start a masturbators thesis in journalism… I mean masters thesis in journalism.

Posted by: T1 | April 20, 2008 at 03:01 PM

um.. dude.. someone beat you too it.

hopefully these pics will burn your eyes as badly as you burned my imagination with the thing about whoopi goldberg. seriously, i'm still speechless. (luckily i can still type though.)

http://www.spermcube.org/events.htm

oops what i meant to say that this is a harrowing tale of post-modern urban ennui stunningly captured in the medium of, well, a bunch of jizz in a freezer.

praise Allah.

[mandible claw]

Hey! Guys! If you see that bored Australian defense analyst anywhere, tell him there's a job going as a lighthouse-keeper in Canada. Great job for a laugh.

Posted by: me24 | April 20, 2008 at 02:54 AM

yeah man it sounds like a sweet gig, you could just sit up there all day and blaze away on the glaucoma meds. then stick it to the man when one of those imperialist warmongering babykilling american ships tells you to get out of the way. oops wait you're too dumb to know it never happened.

http://www.snopes.com/military/lighthouse.asp
joi.ito.com/archives/2006/01/16/lighthouse_vs_uss_lincoln.html

heavy, man.

[mandible claw]

my own spontaneous piece of performance art garnered critical acclaim but was then shut down by the man.

i tell you freedom of speech no longer exists in this country.

so there i was, expressing my love for merry eyre and all its mystery and wonder and its lovely inhabitants, by peeing on the rosebushes in the park opposite me24 and paul's apartment building, just expressing my anguish at the lack of social justice in johnny howard's fascist theocracy when out of nowhere the cops show up and start oppressing me, all because one group of mouthbreathing primary school kids were too ignorant and narrowminded to appreciate my postmodern nuance.

fricking fascist pigs. if the law says i have to wear pants in public, i say f*ck the law man.

[mandible claw]

Che - is this you?

COMMERCE TOWNSHIP, Mich. (AP) - Police say a man dressed as a woman repeatedly crashed his car into a suburban Detroit lingerie store that refused to hire him.

Oakland County Undersheriff Michael McCabe says Jeremy McIntosh, 27, was arrested Saturday outside Intimate Ideas. Damage to the store was estimated at $3,000.

McCabe says McIntosh was wearing "facial makeup, lipstick, blue Capri pants, red flip-flops, a flowery blouse and a matching flowery women's bra."

McIntosh told deputies he is homeless and wanted to go to jail because he had nowhere else to go.

http://wtop.com/?nid=456&sid=1387650

i never would have lent you my car if i'd known you were going to prang up the fenders, ffs. what is the matter with people these days?

[mandible claw]

is this thing on?