Canadian Pop Diva Celine Dion announced plans today to re-record her blockbuster single My Heart Will Go On as a new Blood & Feces-Smeared Edition.
Over the next several months, Dion plans to become impregnated by several homeless drug addicts. She will then strap several cats to her naked body and throw herself down a flight of stairs. Her wails of agony as she miscarries will be recorded and put to music.
To differentiate the single from any of her other recordings, Dion will smear the CD cover with her own blood and feces.
Dion insists that her intention isn't to shock or offend, but I can already hear the right-wing anti-choice Jesus freaks huffing and puffing and calling for boycotts.
Conservatives have absolutely no appreciation for fine art.