FLASH: BARACK OBAMA WAS NEVER MARRIED TO BILL CLINTON!!

My sources inside the Clinton campaign have just informed me of what may be the 11th hour shocker we've all been expecting: Barack Obama has never been married to Bill Clinton.

He may have turned the raghead photo against our beloved Hillary, but there's no way for Obama to spin this one. Wikipedia confirms that Obama has never been married to Bill Clinton, and he therefore doesn't have an ounce of the experience Hillary does in foreign affairs, internal affairs, or any of Bill's affairs for that matter.

This is a man who presumes to be qualified to protect Americans against enemies foreign and domestic, yet in the likely event that Bill Clinton should have an affair, Obama would be ill-prepared to handle the ensuing Republican Attack machine or the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy to overthrow his presidency. For all his empty rhetoric about "hope", I doubt he could even point out a brothel on the map, and would be hard-pressed to contact the former president for advice in the case of an emergency. Yet he wants us all to believe that he can lead our puppy-killing troops to the glorious surrender in Iraq that real progressives have always hoped for.

Comments

[Che Gaiavera]

Also in: Nobody else was first here, beyotches!!!

[Fist of Etiquette]

It's raining here, Che. You're lucky I showed up at all.

[Fist of Etiquette]

In other developments, I have it on good authority that Michelle Obama plagiarized William J. Clinton's entire senior thesis. Word for word.

How's that for a coinkydink?

[Hemp Flower]

...AND Michelle Obama never aborted her kids.

[Che Gaiavera]

This just in: Barack Obama copied Bill Clinton's skin color. Obama accused of lifting entire campaign strategy from the movie "Hairspray".

[Fist of Etiquette]

Isn't "Hairspray" a musical? That's too gay a reference, even for me.

[Gay Gayvera]

Isn't "Hairspray" a musical? That's too gay a reference, even for me.

Meee-yooww!

[Gay Gayvera]

We interrupt this blog to bring you this important message: President Clinton has swept Rhode Island, breaking the muslim O'Bama Hussein's 13-0 streak with a victory in the nation's smallest state, earning 3/8 of a delegate.

[Intellectual Conservative]

You know, one of President Bush's rationales for going into Iraq was to establish democracy and establish Iraq as a base from which Islam could be de-radicalized.

Thats ultimately how you win the WoT. Not just with soldiers, but winning their hearts and minds.

That's what the American soldier does best - winning the battle on the battlefield, and winning the hearts and minds.

Here's a nice little tidbit from the 'paper of record' .. the NY Times ... where even THEY acknowledge we're winning the Hearts and Minds battle:

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/04/world/middleeast/04youth.html?_r=3&pagewanted=1&ref=middleeast&oref=slogin

Check .. and mate .. muthafucka .. :)

[The Exorcist]

Has her ass really expanded that much?

Is it even possible?

Is Hillary going to pull Texas out of her ass?

I think any ceiling can be violently crashed after viewing the Mr. Hands video.

[Dodger]

Yet he wants us all to believe that he can lead our puppy-killing troops to the glorious surrender in Iraq that real progressives have always hoped for.

YES!!!1!1!

[Im.mad.as.HELL!]

@Intellectual Conservative

I hate to take the wind out of your sails but here is a LINK that may give a little different prospective. Not saying that is what we all wish for.

Watch out it maybe thick-right-wing.

[camojack]

Maybe he never was married to him...it depends on what you mean by "was".

[Intellectual Conservative]

I have to disagree with one main tenet there.

The solution isn't to erase Islam from the face of the earth. The solution is to take those who hijack Islam and remove THEM from the Earth. And to do it at the sources, like Iraq.

Just saying 'if youre Islamic youre going to die' wont work any better than the idea someone had during WW II to kill every Nazi.

Besides, if there were no more Muslims left who would run the 7-11s??

:)

Oh yes, let the firestorm begin ..

[xxxxliberal]

There's a movement in Europe to erase all Mormons from the face of the Earth, on grounds that they're perverts and extremists.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Before this blog goes off on another humorless tangent, I just like to thank the D voters in Texas and Ohio. We see that chivalry is not dead, as someone finally came to the rescue of that poor white woman who had been brutalized so savagely time and again by that black man. (And all it took was a little public lynching from reporters, who would have guessed.)

I love um like tolerate America!

[xxxxliberal]

"Before this blog goes off on another humorless tangent ..."

No, no, there'll be no tangents around here. Especially humorless ones. No deviants deviations allowed.

[feelthelove]

megatwat's suckpuppets are back. Amazing how that happens when she gets her ass kicked. The Euroweenie xxxxliberal is correct: Every thread hijacking they have done
on BB has been humorless and deviant.

Bye, megatwat.

[Progressyve Paul(ine)]

Barack Obama hasn't even slept with as many fine black sistas as Bill either. At least not according to Andrew Young (http://www.blackwebportal.com/wire/DA.cfm?ArticleID=3274).

[Libby Gone™]

The question now is "Who will be on top?"
I imagine its Shrills favorite position, firmly in charge of her hapless lover.
If Barack gets the nod, who would he fear more?

[megapix]

Here we go with the predictable "ass-kicked" routine again. Does night follow day? :)

[feelthelove]

Does Dick Cheney's daughter know that Barak was never married to Bill?

[UN Doctor]

Does night follow day?--megateat. As surely as you and your sockpuppets get your fannies waxed on one thread only to tart up another. And I personally find it screamingly funny that you can't hold your own, but have to fuck up another thread with
regurgitating your spew because you can not and never will win. And tell your
xxxxlibtard sockpuppet to read. IC didn't say 'ALL of islam needs to be wiped off the face of the earth, only those who...

"The solution is to take those who hijack Islam and remove THEM from the Earth. And to do it at the sources, like Iraq.--Intellectual Conservative

What part of 'the solution is not to remove Islam but those who HIJACK Islam' did you not understand, dipshit?

Now go suck your thumb.

[feelthelove]

I hearby declare that megatwat's deviation from the thread be stopped. It will lead to humorless rants and using thick right wing planks to whack the stupid who must be punished upside the head. Instead, we must use our progressyve power for good.

[DonnieDarko]

First!