Scientists estimate last Thursday's meteor shower to be the most severe of the entire year thus far, sending thousands of deadly projectiles rocketing through an atmosphere already weakened by the effects of global warming. But where was Bush as fire rained down from the heavens, threatening millions of working families and inner-city blacks with extinction? Snoozing, of course. The so-called "Leader of the Free World" went to bed early that evening, either oblivious to the fact that the entire human race could very well blink out of existence while he slept, or he just didn't give a damn. If the latter proves true, then his apathy was most certainly a guise, a clever ploy to draw suspicion away from himself for a celestial event conveniently timed to distract the Media from Obama's victory in the Iowa caucus - which he also slept through.
In any event, and much to Bush's dismay, the meteorites never hit their intended targets. However, scientists predict the Earth will be plagued with many more meteor showers in the months leading up to the election. Unless the people of the world take drastic measures to reduce global warming, death will fall from the skies once again, killing billions while the Usurper in Thief sleeps snugly in his stolen bed.
Sweet dreams, Shrub. Sweet dreams.