CIA Destroys Hillary's Campaign Commercials

Republicans and dirty tricks go hand in hand, but the amount of dirty tricks they've pulled in this election cycle alone could fill a whole new blog category. Now it seems that the CIA has destroyed hundreds of hours worth of video tapes documenting the brutal torture of innocent Muslim prisoners, thus depriving Hillary Clinton and other Democrat candidates of valuable material for their campaign commercials. The videos, taken deep inside secret CIA torture chambers scattered across Europe, are purported to show agents moistening two so-called "Terrorist suspects" and, in all likelihood, mishandling their Qurans in an attempt to extract useless information about non-events. The footage would have gone a long way towards demonstrating how low Republicans will go just to save a few thousand American lives.

Poof! Gone!

With the Bush Junta still stubbornly refusing to parade flag-draped coffins before the TV cameras for our viewing pleasure, and Mike Huckabee's crudely photoshopped images of Joseph Smith buggering a goat on the altar of Satan having been recently debunked, it's a wonder Democrats have anything left to run on at all.

Convenient, isn't it? 

Comments

[kb]

But there's no need to worry about it because thanks to the Bush criminal posse it will not be looked into.

[Fist of Etiquette]

I really don't see why we need the actual footage from the CIA. Didn't Hollywood come up with a couple Oscar-worthy anti-war films recently? Certainly there are some scenes we can use in lieu, something like Jake Gyllenhaal or Matt Damon in dark makeup with electrodes hooked to his scrumptious testicles. It's not like anyone actually saw any of those films and could call us on our ruse.

P.S. I liked Kinky Bee before she started posting with just her initials.

[Che Glockvera]

Dumbya had better ululate to Gaia that this isn't some sort of ploy to delay handing evidence over to investigators until the statute of limitations runs out. President Hillary will never go for that.

[civilan]

CIA torture chambers are approximately 666 satanic miles from George Bush Intercontinental Airport.

[Intellectual Conservative]

Did KB supply Huckabee with those goat tapes?

God, what a visual .. lol ..

[Dangerous Dave]

FEAR NOT FELLOW PROGRESSYVES! Hillary does not need any destroyed evidence to make a case for her campaign. She will just need to focus on the Progressyve plan for Amerikkka to win the election. The country is behind us, so as long as the Rethuglikkkans don't resort to McCarthyistic ploys to supress the vote, such as state issued ID or proof of citizenship, the Demokratische party will come out on top.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Personally, I can't believe all the waterboarding the CIA does. Sure, I went waterboarding out on the lake last summer and yes, it was great fun (despite taking a faceful of water time and time again) but really, is this the best use of the CIA? The people that claim me as a dependent don't pay their taxes just so spies can go out and whoop it up riding the waves on the government dime.

P.S. Statue of Limbitations.

[T1]

I am going to re-enact the horrible CIA torture scenes and record them on video.

I will start by buying a 6 pack of PBR Lite. To prepare for the lack of oxygen I will take one bong hit and hold it in for 60 seconds. Then I will place an alcohol moistened washcloth over my mouth and see how long I can last.

I will have to borrow my uncle’s tripod because I don’t have a camera man – but the films should be brutally revealing even without the proper camera angle.

I will be back after going to the corner AM-PM.

[Menstrual Rainbow]

"I am going to re-enact the horrible CIA torture scenes and record them on video."

Can't we just use one of Hillary and Janet Reno's home movies?

[stoorat]

"scrumptious testicles"

Now there's a term I need to work into daily conversations.

"P.S. I liked Kinky Bee before she started posting with just her initials."

Oh...oh, man. I don't wanna be anywhere near here when she reads that. This place is going to be covered in FoE shrapnel.

[T1]

Update:

The 6 pack is gone.

The tripod is broken.

The video evidence is lost.

I lasted 67 seconds before I had to exhale and have another beer.

I think the experiment must be duplicated to ensure the results are the same. Unfortunately the AM-PM will not sell beer after 2:00 AM.

Dam that Bush and his Big AM-PM buddies!

[flowerpower]

As a proud member of Hillary's team, I will have you know; that we are not now, nor have we ever been hampered by not having any video or ANY meaningfull evidence supporting our claims about the evil administration that stole the election, blew up the twin towers, and illeagaly invade muslim countries for oil(and sadistic "kicks"). We will just incessantly repeat it again and again and again an again untill people believe it.

[Che Guerera]

Mike Huckabee's crudely photoshopped images of Joseph Smith buggering a goat on the altar of Satan having been recently debunked...

How on earth did Huckabee get Al Reuters to be journalists for him

[feelthelove]

keepinghisheaduphisass was the goat.

[feelthelove]

Hillary is shrieking about 'lost evidence?' The one who couldn't find the records of Whitewater, overbilling and the dead bodies? Who channeled her cousin Eleanor and then mocked the True Believers of Hale-Bopp?

[Che Guerera]

FTL,
You know the whole Whitewater thing was politically motivated. This is different. This is about holding accountable those who did wrong, no matter which Republicans administration they work for.

We'll not be denied defeat by a bunch of yahoos beating the drum of "national security". We needed those videos to offset those YouTube videos showing the Religion of Peace doing beheadings and stuff.

It's what we call "Fair and Balanced".

[feelthelove]

Mea culpa. I forgot about the unenforceable but oh so important 'Fairness Doctrine.'
How many 'Hail Osamas' must I do? And whereinhell are the Brigades? They need to ululate sound off on this as well.

[TeatsOfFatima]

Those Members Of The Religion Of Peace were NOT tortured! No, it was far worse! They were being baptized!

[FlowerOfPower]

'...moistened?' As in 'spit upon?' I thought we were supposed to spit on the troops.
Bummer.

[FlowerOfPower]

Democrats will run on biofuels, man. It doesn't matter that the dead zone in the Gulf of Mexico will kill off fish and other wildlife...because we can't drill in Alaska because the wildlife will be killed. That is so heavy...Does Algore know about this?

[Dave]

REPUKES HATE CHOICE!

These innocent Muslim prisoners have no say in their in their fate.

Unlike the people in the evil towers of Capitalism/Oppression. Those people had THREE CHOICES! 1) To jump from 80 stories up. 2)Stay and burn to death. 3) Wait until Donald Rumsfeld pushed the demolition button to bring the tower down around their ears.

[Tailfetha]

Progressyves everywhere should take note that we are in grave danger! First Hillary appears on Fox and Friends and now Fidel is talking about giving up power.

[feelthelove]

Rumsfeld wouldn't have pushed the button until Karl Rove zapped him

[feelthelove]

Progressyves everywhere should take note that we are in grave danger! First Hillary appears on Fox and Friends and now Fidel is talking about giving up power.--warns Tailfetha.

Does this mean Hillary will be moving to Cuba?

[Justa Joe]

This waterboarding is so transparently a tactic by the "Bushco" to silence dissent. As we all know water is not good for wooden boards. It causes warpage and degradation. Who needs wooden boards the most? Of Course, Bob Vila

Who does Bob Vila work for? You guessed it, PBS. Connect the dots people.