Environmental Prophet Al Gore warned a stunned Congress today of the dire consequences should we puny humans refuse to obey him. Hurricanes. Tornadoes. Earthquakes. Plagues of locusts. Disoriented manatees. Cats and dogs living together. The deliberate and systematic destruction of all life on Arrakis. Terrifying, indeed – but just a taste of what’s in store for us all should we continue to blatantly defy Gore. The time has come to cleanse ourselves of our capitalistic sins and save the earth from total obliteration - but it won’t be easy. Preserving the future for our children will involve tough choices and personal sacrifice. Most importantly it will require tax increases, wealth restribution, government control of production, and the abandonment of the free market system – by pure coincidence, the exact same things liberal democrats have been calling for since before global warming was ever an issue. It would be sheer madness, then, for Repugs to continue to stand against such bold initiatives now that the scientific consensus is that we're all going to die unless we do exactly as Al Gore says. So there's really no point in debating it any further.