You can "support the troops", but not the war. And if in the process of "supporting the troops" you succeed in encouraging those they are fighting against, well then that's their own damn problem. So it was in that spirit that thousands of peace activists converged on the nation’s capitol last weekend in what future poets will one day describe as an "overflowing septic tank of love". In contrast, about three counter-protesters showed up to antagonize the crowd by making disparaging remarks about the beautiful and talented Jane Fonda. One of those freeper brownshirts was none other than our old friend Josh “Can’t Take a Joke” Sparling, a wounded war criminal and brainwashed propagandist for the Bush Junta.
While the American Hero Ehren Watada will likely spend the rest of his life at Gitmo for having the courage to abandon his fellow soldiers on the field of battle, Sparling has become a jingoist poster boy for the military-industrial complex. A glutton for media attention, he's been selling his bull on every morning talk show for the past week, taking valuable air time away from Mother Cindy and the Joisey Grrlz. He obviously has no shame. Yet when a peace activist hocked a wad of soul-cleansing loogie in his general direction, Sparling actually returned fire.
Thankfully, the Nazi was too slow on the draw. The nimble-footed protester had already vanished in a cloud of marijuana smoke and patchouli, perhaps off to graffiti the Washington Monument in the hopes of beefing up his arrest record for a future teaching job at Berkeley. The right-wing media has been fixated on the story all week, using the incident to paint peace activists in a bad light and perpetuate the myth that we all hate the babykilling troops. However, it was Sparling’s vicious attack that betrayed a fundamental lack of respect for the millions of brave men, womyn, and transgendered progressives who fight every day to end the war and bring our tots home in shame and defeat before they can mishandle any more Qurans.
As for the valiant protester who supposedly spat at but not on Sparling (there’s a difference), he gave up a day of playing Gears of War on his Xbox 360 to take a stand against violence and aggression. Instead of whining about a little good-natured ribbing, Sparling should get down on his good knee and thank him for his noble sacrifice.