My Photo

From the
Fascist's Mouth

What I'm Reading

Answers

« The Wind Cries Dumbya | Main | FORDitler, Dead at Last »

Comments

Arbiter

Che, you truly have the Winter Solstice spirit.

Gaia bless us, every one!

The Exorcist

"I lift my glass to you."KD

Better enjoyed through a straw, but bottom's up to you as well Kinky.

Dave

Che, Thanks for making me wet my pants from laughing!

(I hate you for thinking of 12 days song first, Damm you!)

Che

I'm humbled Dave. Keeping with the Progressyve Solstyce Spirit:

JannyMae with a hanger,
Back alley, no bed.
When the fetus starts to crown,
Stab it right in the head,
Toss the carcass in the dumpster
Or keep it for kicks,
Such is the fate Neo-cons wish for all chicks.

Thank you! I'm here all week!

JannyMae

Wow! Immortalized in song by Che?! I can't think of a better Winter Solstice Present!

Merry Christmas, everybody! (Except you, Dodger...not forcing my religion on you!)

I started writing my own:

I will come for Christmas,
You can go down on me.

Please have whips,
And chips and dips,
And condoms on the tree!

I got stuck on that stanza, though, for some reason. I guess my creativity level may be down because I just spent 2-1/2 hours with 13 sixth graders at their Christmas party! That's right, by Gaia! Christmas party. Stinking Christian school!

Hey, it's clouding up here in AZ, and, if I didn't know better, I'd swear it was going to snow! YIKES!

Arbiter

Well well well... here's some great news that our religion of peace fryends are willing to work with us progressyves and not the war criminal Bush administration...

Can the rethugs question our patriotism now!?

Methinks

Well, as a newbie here, my observation is that you are all obviously air-headed neo-cons with nary an iota of the social responsibility or sensitivity for the poor, underprivilaged, minorities in this and other countries. *sniff*

You push your Christianity and your Christmas and your holiday cheer down these poor people's throats and I'm just disgusted by all of you and by the fact that I even have to share a country with you. I'm so ashamed! I apologise to every Iraqi and Palestinian displaced or killed or sometimes both by our vicious, baby-killing Bushbot troops.

As a small gesture to our perpetually offended moderate Muslim friends, I think we should make changes to accomodate the religion of peace.

Saturday Night Fatwa
Jihadists and Jesters discover common identity as they shower each other with killer fatwas, gut-busting tenets, and sidesplitting prophecies

Dune
Candid camera on top of a dune in the Arabian Desert. Watch the sand move. Fascinating. (Live)

My Mother The Car Bomb
Situation comedy where a man's dead mother is reincarnated as an old-fashioned, quirky, fun-loving car bomb. Teaches the values of spreading the faith by the sword.

Crappy Days
Teenage friends ensure Sharia Law is enforced throughout their sleepy little mid-western town. Good role models for young Madrasa students.

Saynfaald
Sitcom about nothing (other than the benevolence of Allah). Four friends make their way through carefully censored sketches of Muslim culture in Sharia-ruled New York.

72
Forget Jack Bauer and 24, the hottest thing on Islamovision is 72 virgins!

Really Desperate Housewives
After Zulfia has her clitoris not-so-surgically removed she decides to become a suicide bomber

Hamascide
Life on the Gaza streets

Lebanese Home Makeover
Courtesy of the Israeli army's bulldozer. Starring Flat Fatima with her all-Zionist work crew

American Infidel
The winner gets his head sawed off

Clerics Drawn Together
Without Danish cartoonists, praise Allah

Dead or Not Dead
Can you pick the dhimmi that will not be beheaded?

Sunni Toons
Starring Baghs Bunny, Dhimmi Duck, El-Elmer Faad, Pope is Pig, The Roadbomber & Mufti Coyote, and Abu Le Pew

this was excerpted from http://thepeoplescube.com/ where you will find more enlightening suggestions for a more inclusionary society (one that will include everyone but you - it's only fair) that we can be proud of. Thank you.

Arbiter

Methinks, for a noob, you're pretty damned smart. We need brilliant minds like yours, instead of the mindless patriotic firefighters/police officers/military personel/Reagan supporters

who waste their lives trying to fulfill their own ideals while I sit here in my Section 8 housing waiting for Oprah...

The Exorcist

"You can go down on me"-Daisy Mae

I thought you would never ask.

Although I do have to check with Arbiter's baboon first. Ya see, unbeknownst to brothyr Arbinator, me and Mrs., Mrs. Mohammad, we got a thang, going on. We meet everyday at the same cafe, 630 and I know, I know shy'll be there. Holding paws, making all sorts of plans while the jukebox plays our favorite songs. MeyeeyeeAnd Mrs., Mrs. Mohammad, Mrs. Mohammad......we...............got..........a.......thang

Arbiter

Mohammad! (piece of luv on your cute red rashy ass)

You slut! You told me those were flea bites!

Arbiter

Seriously, I'm on vacation next week. Merry Christmas everyone!

Bubblehead

Last year we couldn't find anyone who remembered the rest of this little progryssyve ditty; maybe we'll have better luck this year:

"'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house,
The whole gol-durned family was drunk as a souse;
With Ma in a whorehouse and Dad in jail,
I'd just settled down for a nice piece of tail;
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the girl to see what was the matter;
Away to the windows I tore in a flash,
Tripped over the sex toys and fell on my ass.
"The blood and the guts on the new-fallen snow,
Made it look like a gang-fight had gone on below;
When what to my red blood-shot eyes should appear,
But a rusty old sled and eight mangy reindeer;
And a dirty old fella a-floggin' his prick,
I knew in a moment the bastard was Nick"

Bilgeman was able to pull one additional couplet from his drug-addled brain:
"...and he filled up the stockings with reefer and beer,
and a big rubber dick for the family queer."

Anyone else have any flashbacks and remember it?


Che

I'm a huge fan of poetry. I read this to my gyrls every Winter Solstyce.

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Everyone was shit-faced drunk, even then mouse.
The furniture was tossed 'round the room without care.
The whole place was trashed. Hell! Even Ted Kennedy was there.
The guests were all slumped, using the floor for their beds,
While big Chinese gongs rang in their heads.
And mamma in her thong, and I in my cap,
I jumped into bed and gave her ass a good slap.
When out in the garage there arose such a clatter.
I got up from getting laid to see what was the matter.

I stumbled to the door, and tripped on a glass.
I cussesd and I fumed and I busted my ass.
I picked up my bat, and I crept through the room.
The fucker in my garage was about to meet his doom.
Then what in my blurry vision should appear?
Dressed up in a Santa suit was my neighbor the queer.
I demanded a reason and I wanted it quick.
He just stood there dumbfounded with his hand on his dick.
He fled from the garage. I went back in with a sigh.
Time to sit back and relax, smoke a bowl and get high.

I took out my bag of the sweetest orange cush.
I hit it again and again 'til my brain felt like mush.
As I sat and contemplated the problems of the world
I struck up a conversation with a red and green squirrell.
He chittered and chattered. He squeeked and he chirped.
I took a shot of Patron, then farted and burped.
He went on to tell me that the legend of Santa is true.
Right then I figured "This squirrell's been sniffing glue."
He expected me to believe that a lard ass in a red suit
Flies around the world in one night. Hauling presents to boot!

I picked up my bowl and retired to my den.
There was a noise on the roof. "It's that fucking neighbor again!"
I burst out the front door cursing and screaming,
But on top of the house was a sleigh; shining and gleaming.
I ran back into the house where in the living room standing bold
Was a fat guy in a red suit saying "Damn! It's fucking cold."
He filled up our stockings with reefer and beer,
And a big rubber dick for my neighbor the queer.
He lumbered towards the kitchen with a twinkle in his eye.
He drank a bottle of rum and ate a whole pumpkin pie.

He shot up the chimney with such an enormous fart
When he came out the other end he blew the damned thing apart.
Santa hitched up his sleigh, and prepared for his trip.
He grabbed hold of the reins and wiped some pie from his lip.
Now, Blunter! Now, Jointer! Now, Bowler, and Spliffin!
On, Peace Pipe! On, Hookah! On, Bonger, and Resin!
To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! And don't let me fall.
I heard him call out as he faded into the night.
"Merry Christmas you fuckers, and have a hell of a night!!!"

Che

Actually, I Googled it. I believe in plagarism as long as it's for a good cause, but Gaia Claus might frown on my toeing the grey areas this time of year.

Dom Kinky Bee

"I just spent 2-1/2 hours with 13 sixth graders at their Christmas party!"

*sniff, weep, sob*

You are such a great Lyb...err...Progressyve, JannyMae. Jocelyn Elders would be proud that you took Orgasms Across America to the kiddies. You are so sweet to go to their school and teach them all about it. Did they enjoy their Domination? You are after all, one of the best. I only wish I could have thought of it myself and taken the time to do that. However, I was kinda busy with Crust today. He did pay with pocket lint, then he very, very generously tipped me with lint from his left pockey. He's so gracious.

Dom Kinky Bee

STUPID BUSH!!! Not only does he force his KKKhristianity on us, he makes us make multiple typos, too. Crust=Crusty and pockey=pocket

No, Crusty, I wasn't speaking to the pockey's on your nether regions. I promised I would never speak of them again, and I certainly would never tell any of our Progressyve friends here.

Psssttt!!! Mohammed(Piece of luv on his red, rashy butt), you might need Arby to take you to the vet.

The Exorcist

"Psssttt!!! Mohammed(Piece of luv on his red, rashy butt), you might need Arby to take you to the vet"-DKB

Not to worry, Kinks n' Arbs. Mohammed has never been in better hands. Or, more specifically, better hands have never been in Mohammed. Thankfully, Mohammed has been in serious training with Arbiter hyr whole life, which may very well explain the red, rashy butt.

But shy/hy/yt is no slut. No, I've been with many a Democrat in my life and Mohammed is no slut. Yet, I'm still having second thoughts about not using protection. But how often does National Orgasm Day come around and how often do you have a baboon waiting for you, next to the jukebox, at your favorite cafe?

Oh, alright. So it happens to me a little more often than it happens to most othyr persyns. But it happens and when it does, man, it's beautiful.

Fist of Etiquette

[Blows smoke from cigarette]

Was it good for you?

MookieDaPaducah

Here's a special video that I want to send out to all my bitses and hos to let them know what they gettin' this year.

DonkeyDick

Whooooo-We! I managed to score a couple quarts of "Night Train". That stuff will put you right under, but except for a hangover I'm OK.

Is it December 22nd yet?

It's WHAT? I did What?

Ah, crap.

Well, there's always next year.

Cricket

I blew off Global Orgasms for Peace as well. Yep, there's always next year.

Fist of Etiquette

There's always next year???

Then for what reason did we just have elections? Last time I checked, everyone in America marked "Get us out of Iraq NOW" on their ballots.

On January 4, 2007, Nancy Pelosi will be sworn in as Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives. By January 5, I fully expect all our troops to be home and that world peace will have been achieved through love.

So, no, there will not be a "next year".

Bush4Ever

"I blew off Global Orgasms for Peace as well."

So did my LyfePartner!!

Che

I just can't quit singing. Gaia has truly gifted us this season.

I saw Dad go down on Santa Claus,
He came out of the closet Christmas Eve,
I just wanted a doll,
A pony or a ball,
Instead I find Dad's leaving us to live with "Uncle" Steve.

And that's when I heard Daddy telling Santa Claus,
He'd met George Michael once at a truck stop,
He'd been to Enumclaw,
(Horses aren't against the law),
Santa's just ho-ho-ho for Pop!

JannyMae

Well, there's always next year.
Posted by: DonkeyDick

I blew off Global Orgasms for Peace as well. Yep, there's always next year.
Posted by: Cricket

What are you people, Cubs fans?

I happen to be a Cubs fan. and I've been one for 40 years! So, I know all about next year!
***wink***

...and since Exorcist never showed up last night...well, I think you know what I'm talkin' about! In his defense, if there is any, of course, I think he may have been confused about what time zone I'm in!

Wonder if he showed up at Kinky's house??

The comments to this entry are closed.

Fair Trade
Gift Shop

  • fairtradelogo.jpg

Sites I'm Banned From