When harvested from a human embryo, stem cells can be a miracle cure for a wide variety of debilitating afflictions, such as Alzheimer’s Disease, diabetes, paralysis, rhuematoid arthritis, Multiple Sclerosis, sickle-cell anemia, migraine headaches, erectile dysfunction, Attention Deficit Disorder, excessive body hair, male pattern baldness, problem flatulence, dizziness, numbness, tough, hard-to-remove stains, Helsinki Syndrome, toe jam, indigestion, dyslexia, insomnia, narcolepsy, vertigo, hepatitis, tonsillitis, gingivitis, Vitus Geralitis, chancre sores, the 7-Year Itch, gridlock, and the bizarre mental illness that makes religious conservatives so averse to treating human embryos like crops to be “harvested”. But today, a senate bill that would lift the cruel ban on stem cell research was struck down by the veto-happy dictator, rendering the human embryo completely useless.
This is the same Bible-thumping nut job that claims to value “life” in its earliest stages. This is the same hypocrite who has no moral conflicts with stealing eggs from helpless chickens, but wouldn’t harvest a single stem cell to make Mary Richards turn the world on with her smile. No, he would rather every single embryo be carried to its logical extreme, unleashing upon the world a plague of unwanted children grown well past anything useful ever being harvested from them.
Hopefully, the three million Athlete's Foot sufferers in this country will be able to hold on for two more years, when Bush is frog-marched out of the Oval Office and Hillary assumes her rightful place on the throne. The cruel ban on stem cell research will finally be lifted, renewing the hopes and dreams of millions of Americans. Diabetes will be a thing of the past. Alzheimer's will be a forgotten memory. Max Cleland will sprout new limbs. Oprah will renounce her heterosexuality. Ray Charles will open his eyes and gaze with childlike wonder at the inside of his coffin, and Christopher Reeve will spring up out of his grave to seek vengeance upon every former blastocyst whose selfish birth lead to his untimely demise.