Uncle Kenny to Join Mother Cindy on Impeachment Bus of Grief

One day after Dick Halliburton Cheney declared the Iraqi insurgency in its “final throes”, America mourns the loss of two more of her sons. I can’t imagine the unbelievable pain and sorrow the loved ones of those young men must be experiencing right now. Thankfully, every family has at least one clear-thinking progressive with the presence of mind to make the morning talk show rounds and denounce Bush before the bodies can get cold. Kenneth MacKenzie, a beloved uncle of one of the slain troops, didn’t let the fact that the rest of the family hadn’t yet heard the tragic news deter him from appearing on the Today Show to slam the U.S. military and demand Bush pay Al Qaida a $100 million cash advance on their next beheading.

The Shrub spent years planning the war in advance so he could steal Iraq’s oil, yet he failed to prepare for what happened to those fine, upstanding, Quran-mishandling bullies who were probably about to go torture some civilians or something before they were abducted. Now more innocent blood has been shed thanks to Bush’s incompetence, and my rage is eclipsed only by the sorrow I feel for the death of those two men whose names escape me. But even in this time of heartache, a bright beam of light penetrates through the darkness. While their deaths come almost a week after the passing of the much-anticipated Grim Milestone II (cue dazzling graphic), these fine young men did not die in vain, for their otherwise pointless sacrifice restores legitimacy to a peace movement still reeling from the murder of Al Zarqawi, and the ensuing upward trend in Bush’s poll numbers.

I’m sure the wingnuts will ignore MacKenzie's glorious transformation from the creepy uncle who keeps touching everyone at the family reunion to Absolute Moral Authority Who Must Never Be Questioned. They’ll predictably try to smear him for his refusal to be used as a propaganda tool for Bush’s illegal and immoral war on terror. But to those of us devoted to peace at all costs, he is a true patriot. He may have lost a nephew - whatever his name was - but Uncle Kenny has gained a seat next to Mother Cindy and Papa Berg on the wonderfully lucrative Impeachment Bus of Grief.

Comments

[PTPFP]

I think Uncle Kenny needs to take a back seat to Peace Mother Sheehan and Papa Burg until he learns his place in the Grief Gravy Train.

[PTPFP]

Oh, and First! pfthbpfthbpfthbpfthb on Bubblehead and his phantasmic wishing to see Hillary, Janet Reno and
Nancy Pelosi in a love triangle.

[camojack]

Just what the world needs...another media whore.

[Kiki B.]

*waving aside a cloud of smoke*

Well, crap! It looks like I'm out of my medicinal marijuana. I guess I'll have to come out from under the sink. I'd better hurry before my chronic anorexia returns.

[Talking Toaster]

Hey, I want to hitch a ride on the lucrative Bus of Grief.

MacKenzie has every right to make a few thousand off of a dead 2nd cousin thrice removed. If Cindy can do it so can he.

You know, I think I am related with less the eight degrees of separation to Kristian Menchaca (although I have not checked). I expect to get a slot on a TV show soon.

Just mentioning $100 million dollars should get anyone a slot on the Today Show. Plus, a hefty honorarium for out of pocket expenses such as airfare, drinks, and glaucoma medication

I also agree that Bush should pay out $100 dollars to any kidnapper that comes down the road. The money comes out of the pockets of the top 1% of tax payers in Iraq. Surely, the kidnapping business would be given a need boost with a $100 million dollars per decapicated soldier.

[Moonchild]

Mr. MacKenzie took time from his grieving to speak truth to power, and there's more to his tear-stained, heartfelt words than humble, simple grief which grants him criticism-free and unlimited access to our nation's media outlets and tenure at Ivy League universities. $100,000,000 is a large figure. Who has access to that kind of cash? Not I nor any other progressyve dedicated to peace in our time, free love, and social justice. A moment's thought reveals the answer to anyone not blind to corporate and historic lies.

Zionist bankers have that cash. Their war-profiteering, oil stealing, and selling of the blood of the Palestinians they enslave for such purposes has filled their filthy Jew purses to near-bursting, and Mr. MacKenzie wants those purses to creak open and give back to the noble freedom fighters who have stood against their Zionist lies.

So, MacKenzie's protest and private grief has a depth of meaning which burst through the filters of the Jew media and spoke truth to a truth-starved planet. Thank you. It has not gone unnoticed.

[Ali Ali Ali]

by allah!! how many heads must we sever to make you infidels understand WE ARE A RELIGION OF PEACE!!!!111
and, uh, tolerance, too.

[Barry]

Sigh!

[DoubleU]

If he sells Matt Lauer's autograph he can donate money to George Soros!

[Bush4Ever]

Kenny & Cindy sittin' in a tree
p-i-s-s-i-n-g on the baby killing, torturing, raping, murdering, low I.Q., slack-jawed redneck troupes...BUT THEY SUPPORT THE TROUPES!!

[libmeister]

Even though the peace-loving Muslim freedom fighters didn't attempt to negotiate a ransom, why didn't Bu$Hitler try to ransom those two American stormtroopers? BECAUSE HE'S AN EVIL RETHUGLIKKKAN CONSERVATIVE, that's why!

Disprove that you neo-KKKon twits.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Yes, no doubt right now Ann Coulter is furiously scribbling down notes for a new book, full of right-wing smearing points against this poor, grief-stricken uncle. Probably a whole chapter on the man who is simply easing the very personal and private pain of this family tragedy in the most natural way known to man: the national talk show circuit. Smear away, Ann, you heartless harpie.

And what the hell is wrong with the rest of that family? Is it too much to ask for them to get out there, too? Don't they know they have to strike while the iron is hot? There are many media outlets out there that could use the help spreading the message about Bush's immoral and illegal war, and so much the better from an unimpeachable (unlike our president, hehe) source like a newly minted grieving relative. Yeah, and a mother or a sister would be better than an uncle. Ooo, a fiancé! That would do nicely.

[libmeister]

The least the reich-wing media conglomerates - like ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN, MSNBC, PBS, NPR, NYT, WaPo, etc. - could do is pay for the broadcast rights of the beheadings of captured Bu$Hitler stormtroopers. Kind of like an Islamic Olympics.

That way the AmeriKKKan people can see for themselves how the evil Bu$Hitler/Halliburton/Cheney/RoveHimmler junta have turned a peace-loving religion into a collection of desperate freedom fighters who are simply seeking self-validation in an increasingly complex world of tolerance and mutual respect.

But don't get me wrong...I SUPPORT THE TROOPS.

[Ali Ali Ali]

"...simply easing the very personal and private pain of this family tragedy in the most natural way known to man: the national talk show circuit..."

absolutely. daytime TV is a Gaia-send. I wouldn't know what to do with myself, all day long, without it.

[Dave]

I'm sure that nazi ape coulter has something mean-spirted to say about this brave, noble man speaking truth to power. I just hate the way these right-wing hatefilled haters will try to hide behind their hate just to make a useless hatefilled-meanspirted point.

I heard this joke in the teachers lounge yesterday: "What the difference between a cabbage and a soilder? one won't scream when you cut off it's head!" now that's funny! we had a good laugh on that and went back talking about how evil Bu$h is and how he's ruining this once great country.

But don't you dare question mine or Kenneth MacKenzie's patriotism!

[Neocon-pincher]

In honor of the tireless freedom fighters who work so diligently to prove that Radical Islam is the MOST peaceful part of the Religion of Peace -- I am moved to song:

I'LLLLL saw away all gory

I'LLLLL saw away. In the mornin'!

'Till his head comes off, Allahuakbar by and by,

I'LLLLL saw away!

[Libby Gone™]

I wonder what the beloved child molester MuthaHAMmoud has to think? Every progressive knows American insurgents have always dined on various pork products and the killers blood that flows through their viens must be contaminated. I just hope those peaceful freedom fighters used sterile latex gloves, For Allahholes sake!

[Arbiter]

Those poor Bu$Hitler Mercenaries who were killed for Haliburton's oil are not blame. We need to blame the true horrible murderers and thugs. We need to blame the worst animal terrorists of our time. We need to blame the filthy scum who is responsible for this vile, evil, and disgusting act of terror.

You guessed it: George W Bush and VP Tricky Dick Cheney (Whose daughter Mary is a devout Lesbian)!!!!

[The Exorcist]

"What the difference between a cabbage and a soilder? one won't scream when you cut off it's head!"

I think this joke perfectly captures why those of us on the left are not only more intelligent, but far more witty to boot. Even the lack of punctuation and misspellings are cute. It's comforting to know that you teach at a public school that isn't so hung-up on little things like the outdated and unnecessary 3 R's.

And I don't want anyone to get the impression that I don't fully support the troops by my uncontrollable laughter at this joke. But, funny is funny - no matter how you slice it.

You certainly won't find such biting humor on the Ryte. In fact, those pricks are so humorless they'd probably smash our heads LIKE a cabbage off a brick wall before realizing just how true the whole catch-line is.

I have a meeting later today with (D) Cardinal Mahoney to further strategize about allowing Spanish-speaking Democrats to cross the border to take refuge in our tax-free havens in exchange for their vote. Because, let's face it, illegally crossing the border to take refuge in Mahoney's tax-free haven in exchange for a Democrat vote is one of those jobs that Americans just won't do.

I'll run this joke past him while he's blowing me in the confession booth to see if it's got legs enough to share with the el-flock-O this Sunday.

May the power of KKKryst compel you!

[Bush4Ever]

I'm betting that no one here has yet had the Courage to suggest we raise the White Flag of Surrender to Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, North Korea and Phrance. Maybe Uncle Kenny will go to the U.N. and do it for us.

[dave]

exorcist,

I'm gald you got the "teacher" joke.

[The Exorcist]

Of course I get it, Professym Dave. I'm the Exorcist, I get EVERYTHING! From Vatican-funded trips to the other side of the world, in the middle of the desert where Satan lays his weary head down for a couple hundred years at a time, to Saynt Patty's Day green milkshakes spat upon me by little limey/KKKonserative girls with a striking resemblance to war-crime chap, Tony Blair.

Yeah, I get it. BUTT, I'm not entirely sure there aren't some neoKKKon infil-trators at this site pretending to be one of us regular garden-variety traitors. Those spying bastards may need to have such elementary things pointed out to them. After all, how smart could they be? They voted for Dumbya.

[Dodger]

I'm betting that no one here has yet had the Courage to suggest we raise the White Flag of Surrender to Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, North Korea and Phrance. Maybe Uncle Kenny will go to the U.N. and do it for us.

I thought about suggesting that. But didn't know if I should.

[Mother of all Blog Pimps]

Ok. Then let me be the first (on this thread) to take the courageous step of laying out a time table for "Redeployment". In light of this brave uncle of the beheaded baby killer grieving on the today show I think we should pull out of Iraq immediately.

How is the for a timetable.

Here is a progressive joke. Maybe the uncle in and Nick Burg's Dad and get together on the Green party ticket and then we will have a double header.

I am sending that joke to the Al-Franken news service right now before it spoils.

[Robert]

Oh, this is it. I'm taking Washington state and seceding to France. Who's with me?!