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« Americans Just 462,479,364 Phone Calls Away from Gitmo | Main | Below-Average Americans Being Spied On, Too »


Fist of Larry

My goodness, you are on a roll!

Fist of Larry

The fact that the government census is manadated to count all of the people in the U.S. by the constitution itself doesn't make it any less of a violation of our constitutional rights to not be counted by the government census.


Hah! I pulled a phast one on Georgus Khan! I actually have a TV receiver they didn't count! It all started when I was doing investment research by watching MTV Cribs. Anyway, Pimp My Ride came on after the "Cribs" documentary, and I thought to my self, "Yo, Che, you gotta get an X-Box in yo' LUV, yo!" With diesel at $3.32/gal, it seemed as wise an investment as anything.

So I went out and bought me a kick-a$$ stereo with DVD and TV tuner. Unfortunately, I don't have a monitor to go wih it, My X-box is outdated, and all I receive on the way home from work is PBS, but at least I can discuss the latest episode of Sesame Street with my daughter Fidela and her syster, Hugo.

Hell, I could almost hold a conversation with the Shrub.


I keep my TVs hidden with a stash of WMDs. That way, I'm sure that the Gubmint will never find them.


My eyes burn whenever I see a tv tuned to faux news or that has those preaching hatefilled hillbilly snake handlers.


Menstrual Rainbow

Just out of interest, do the government collect information on how much pornography I, er I mean an average american, consumes?

Talking Toaster

Is your toaster listening to you?


I don't think my (42" plasma) TV can watch me too much; it's hardly ever on...

RoCkY mTn. LiOnEsS

I'm in a conundrum about all this. I'm getting bad vibes about my aquarium, so I thought I'd relinquish my fish to the humane society, but then I'm subjecting perhaps another victim to th NeoConvicts Cabal against (progressyve) humynity. Those fish eyes are creeping me out!

Even a guarantee the fish would go to a Theo-Neocon would not be without trepidation because they're all mean spirited poopyheaded animal, homosexual, freedom fighter, transgendered, Hollywood
celebrity, rockstar,
bi-sexual, lesbian, anti-war, Mother Sheehan and Father Sheen abusing haters, but I would prefer THEY get spied on. But to flush the fish would be a violation against Gaia and her PETA people. Yeah, I could sort of just let my cat "find them", but then that's how many more days of NSA fish in my house in the belly of my cat and then whenever they show up in his loo.

Surely, (and even if your name isn't Shirley) you can feel my pain in this plight perpetrated solely by the Peerisedent and his puppetmaster GeKKKarl-o!

Maybe I could tint the glass of the make little tinfoil blinders for the fish would be cruel, too.

I s'pose I shouldn't fret.......
When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Sheehan comes to me--speaking words of wisdom: "look at me! look at me!"

Sven Svenson

Is mein television in corner of my cell at Gitmo watching me as well?

It is a 12" Black & White Sony model, bolted to the ceiling next to the manacles and electrodes.

The food is nice here, but mein company is terrible wailing away five times a day with asses pointed to sky. I miss mein Volvo.

Mother of all Blog Pimps

Sevn! My man. Yo! You still chilin down at GMO? Man I had to bail Yo. Got me a Joo laywer out of Miami to spring me on account of my man Tony Blair has a problem with the Polls. Man I got no idea what kind of trouble a bunch of Pollock's could make to get me back to the ole hubbly bubbly, but hear I am. Thou I gotta say, I really miss the Chicken Orange and the mint tea at GMO, I just couldn't hang that way anymore. I mean no PlayStation, no XBox, you brothers are living a little slim for my tastes. Hey but you ain't gonna get no tribunal if the ACLU has anything to say about it. What ever you do brother, don't take not tips from the Moose man and confess to shit cause the word is the infidel juries don't want to make no martyrs and you'll wind up wishing you were in the Cuban sunshine and not the Super max up in Colorado. For the sake of the Profit peace be unto him I really don't think it's a good trade. They only spend about 30 cents a meal on you there and there is absolutely no chance that a girl in a short skirt will play heavy metal music for you and try to intimidate you with her infidel sex charms as a form of torture.

Peace out and I'll bet you'll be eating Rain Deer meat and Listening to Bjork in your Volvo in no time.

Sven Svenson

Dear MOABP, thank you for kind note. I had swarthy colleague here at Gitmo rec room translate from your language to English.

It nice here in Gitmo - nice food - but swarthy colleagues say "dimmi! dimmi! dimmi!' to mein back, which makes mein want to cry tears!

Only BIG problem here Gitmo is no toilets flush - all jammed with paperback books. When I shit, it all jams up in the books in mein toilet, which overflows onto floor.

I received mein first panty torture this morning - Oi! Oi! Oi!

Menstrual Rainbow

The government is going to uncover everyone's deepest secrets, such as the fact that Mary Cheney is a lesbian, with this technology.


So, Lar, am I to understand that metaphorically speaking Big Brother is a one-eyed Cyclops? Maybe thats why our progressyve ancestors were putting tinfoil on the tele antennae back in the 1960s.


...such as the fact that Mary Cheney is a lesbian...

When did this come out?

Wilderness Fox

Mary Cheney? DiKKK(less)'s daughter? A lesbian? I couldn't be more surprised if I woke up and found Abraham Lincoln having man-love with me while Andy Warhol played "Dancing Queen" on a cello in the corner of the room. Not that I've fantasized about this while having coitus with my Female Partner...

I have tin foil on my tv antennas. This SHOULD be ample protection against the Evil Bu$h Regime, right?


Thanks Larry! Now I don't feel so crazy for talking to my boob tube all these years! I talk to my toaster oven too, is that bugged?

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