Below-Average Americans Being Spied On, Too

At a small, private learning center in Tacoma, Washington, little Jeremy Washburn, 23, fumbles with the buttons on his Fisher Price Fun Phone. As a special needs child, he’s unaware that his magical calls to the Marshmallow Man may no longer be between just the two of them. Sadly, neither his childlike innocence nor the jar of paste he just ate are protection against an administartion determined to pry into his personal life.

In addition to millions of average Americans who are currently being spied on by the fascist Bush junta, thousands of below-average Americans are targeted as well. People like Ashley West, 38, a mentally challenged Seattle resident with an I.Q. of 13. From her desk at the King County Elections Office, she fields several thousand angry phone calls a day. Now, thanks to an administration hell bent on invading her privacy, she’s afraid to even pick up the receiver and blubber incoherently for ten minutes, let alone fill out the thousands of unmarked ballots the Marshmallow Man brings her.

The sting of fascism never hurts more than when our most helpless Americans fall victim to its iron grasp.

Comments

[Mialexa]

It's funny, usually only people on death row will admit to an IQ as low as 13.

[Fist of Larry]

So many posts in such a short time after such a long dry spell! What are they putting in your bong? Or what new cleaning product do you have stored under your sink?

[Che]

Dude, 6 post in, like, 4 days. What are you taking, man? You're not 20 any more. You can't keep up this pace.

[Che]

The good news is that, if the cutoff is an IQ at or above 13, Maria Cantwell's office still isn't bugged.

[Bubblehead]

I don't think this is Larry posting at all! Would Liberal Larry use such a pejorative term as "mentally challenged"? The real Larry would have said "neurodiverified". I'd get right on the case and figure out why Rove is posting here before he gets frog-marched out of the White House, but the last bottle of cough syrup is about to kick in, and I'm afraiiiid I canttata thiakaktnk vettyrt weeeellell....

[Bubblehead]

Bush stole my "s" from "neurodiversified".

[Bush4Ever]

Is there an IQ test designed especially for us Enlyghtened Lyberals, I mean, Progressyves? I tried taking one and it's full of Reich-Wing questions about math and logic and hard stuff like that.

[DAVE]

I was feeling so down as of late. With bu$h's dark army on the march all over the world, I was standing on a chair, with a rope around my neck waiting for the nyquill to kick in so I could be in a safe place where no warmongering-hatefilled-cavedwelling-repuke-rethug could ever hurt me again by saying things like "take a bath, hippy", "you should get a job", "Could you pick up all those nation magazines off the couch?" "if you say, "truth to power" one more time, I'll kick you right in the nuts".....

And then word came to me that you had posted more truth to power.

You sir, are my hero!

[RedRiter]

I love you, Gary. I mean, Larry.

[Talking Toaster]

Let’s not be so hasty to criticize. Just the other day Pat Kennedy drove his car into a fence while on his way to make a critical vote in congress – just 22 hours too early.

He may have an IQ of 13 but that’s because of few too many jars of paste and KKKarl Rove’s mind rays.

Dam that Bush!

[camojack]

They can spy on me; I'm pretty boring these days...

[KKKarl Rove]

No Camojack, you are not boring to us. Now go and sit on that brown sofa of yours and turn on your television. Could you move the pot plant 8 inches to your left as it is interfering with our signal.

[KKKarl Rove]

Oh and a general message to all of you, DON'T WATCH TV NUDE!!! Frankly the last thing we military-industrial-complex people want is to see some pale whiny liberal butts as we violate your privacy.

[libmeister]

THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! I AM OUTRAGED!

Fifth column progressyves are now reduced to tin cans and string. And if that fails at least we can still use the tin cans as makeshift tinfoil hats to ward off the Rovian Mind Control Rays. Damn that Bu$Hitler!

Lar, you must continue speaking truth to power. Oh, oh, here come the black helicopters.........................

[Berkeley Bob Morningwood]

Ashley for Congress!

She'll fit right in with Nancy Pelosi, if she talks slowly to Nancy and doesn't use any big words.

She's probably too brainy for Barbara Boxer. We don't want too many intellectuals running around, you know.

[DoubleU]

Don't use the Internet or leave message on any anti-Chimpy MchitlerBusHaliburtonIraqIran blogs, they know, they always know.

[Kiki B.]

WWWHHHHHEEEEWWWWW!!! RML, those "chocolate mint" brownies were good while they lasted. I haven't been this clear-headed and boweled in my life, not even when my loving and caring lyfe partner attempted to give me a beautiful, euphoic death with dignity by dehydrating me and starving me to death. Okay, so I only lasted an hour before I had to have more Cheetos and Dr. Pepper, but you get the idea.

People, don't eat a whole pot...I mean, pan of RML's special "chocolate mint" brownies by yourself, except for Arbiter, of course. Arbiter, those will permanently cure you of your chronic hemorrhoids. Gaia be blessed! They're amazing!!

[The Den Mother]

Thank you, Larry, for going off your lithium long enough to allow your rambling thoughts to flow freely from your manic fingers at 237 words per minute. Your unmedicated brilliance is yet further proof that the Bush's Big Pharmaceutical buddies are just trying to prevent you and other progressyves from Speaking Truth to Power. It's the 21st century alternative to lobotomy. Take it from me, the only drug dealer you can trust is that guy down the street who sells his own home-grown herb. (Wait, selling... isn't that capitalism? I might have to rethink this. Those Rovian mind control rays are confusing the hell out of me.)

[Kiki B.]

"euphoic death" should read euphoric death. Just a small side effect of the death with dignity. I tend to drop my R's.

[libmeister]

If you were an illegal Mexican, Kiki B., you wouldn't have any trouble rolling those R's much less forgetting them.

Seriously, though, you probably haven't been wearing your tinfoil hat enough, or maybe your particular stock has been tainted with aluminum foil.

[Menstrual Rainbow]

It will affect above average people as well, even Mary the lesbian Cheney.

[bushstolemycarlastmonth]

Kiki, are your "R"s the only thing you're dropping as a side effect? (your drawers too perhaps?)

I'm only asking..not in a judgemental way, of course! It's just that I heard a rumor.

[RoCkY mTn LiOnEsS]

I guess the upshot of this "below average" thing is that womyn who were/are too dense to take advantage of the benevolence of Plant Parenthood(winked) will be spied on too.

It's never easy making (I won't buy them) a "Mothers Day" card for my mom. This year, I decided "screw it with the nice, saccharin fluff Theoconish stuff" and in my P.S. spoke truth to POWER!

I let her know in no uncertain terms that even though her forcing me to be born into the Netherlands world was permissable--- but forcing me to move to & live in this HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE oppressive, freedomless KKKountry is unforgivable!!"

If one MUST be fetally expelled, is it TOO much to expect a eutopic experience like being born and raised in Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran, Sudan, et al., where womyn are at least not oppressed the same way they are here in US of All things immoral, illegal ???..or even nirvana-like France...???

[Bush4Ever]

"DON'T WATCH TV NUDE!!!"

I think that this depends on where you live. My LyfePartner and I were told that it was mandatory to watch TV in the nude by our landlord who lives right above us.

[camojack]

No Camojack, you are not boring to us. Now go and sit on that brown sofa of yours and turn on your television. Could you move the pot plant 8 inches to your left as it is interfering with our signal.
Posted by: KKKarl Rove | May 13, 2006 at 12:21 PM

Heh,heh...nice try.