Two Mommies Means Twice the Hugs!
WASHINGTON -- Thousands of children braved chilly rain Monday to take part in the annual Easter Egg Roll on the White House lawn.About 100 gay and lesbian couples wearing rainbow-colored leis said they wanted to give their children an opportunity to have fun while making a political statement that they should be welcome at such an event. ''We just wanted to come out to be visible and present and to let people see we are families, too,'' said Alisa Surkis, 42, of Brooklyn, N.Y., as 3-year-old-daughter Ella clamored for her partner, Colleen Gillespie, to take her over to see the Easter Bunny.
When I read those wonderful words last weekend, I was struck by how thoughtful and open-minded gay families are compared to heterocentric ones. By using their own children as weapons in the war against the Christian Right, same-sex couples make the world a better place for all of us. Hetero couples, on the other hand, procreate for purely selfish reasons and their offspring serve no political purpose whatsoever.
If only all the babies of the world had gay mommies and daddies. But mother nature is a cold-hearted bitch, and out of pure spite she made it a cinch for heterosexuals to reproduce and practically impossible for same-sex couples to do so. Spermatoza doesn’t grow on trees, you know. You have to put an ad in the paper, or catch David Crosby during one of his infrequent lucid spells. It's even more difficult for male-male couples to conceive a living, breathing political statement of their own.
That’s why I’ve decided to give something back to the gay community for all the hardship they suffer. Introducing a new addition to Liberal Larry’s Fair Trade Gift Shop, the Gaybeez® line of clothing for the children of gay couples. By plastering messages of gay pride all over their toddlers, gay parents can now get twice the political juice from one kid.
Enjoy!
1st!!!
Posted by: Huhh? | April 19, 2006 at 09:27 PM
"Spermatoza doesn’t grow on trees, you know."
What!! You mean my Momma been lyin' to me all these years?
I'm gonna have me a little Tahk with HER!
Posted by: JannyMae | April 19, 2006 at 09:48 PM
Lar! Are you a closet capitalist? You better get back in there then. Only if you're of an "alternative" lifestyle do you have the right go exit the closet!
I hope it wasn't your propencity toward capitlism thta caused Peaceblossom to bolt. I mean...was it worth it?
BTW---can a person obtain one of your t-shirts with food stamps? Oh, I'm just asking for a friend.
Posted by: RoCkY mTn LiOnEsS | April 19, 2006 at 10:16 PM
Two mommies? Lar, does this mean two wives is twice as nice, too? Progressyve polygamy may be the wave of the future. When will true progressyves rise up and support polygamous bi-sexual marriage? IS THERE NO JUSTICE?
Posted by: libmeister | April 20, 2006 at 03:52 AM
spermatoza doesn't grow on trees? The next thing you'll be telling us is AIDS doesn't grow on toilet lids.
Posted by: libmeister | April 20, 2006 at 03:53 AM
What happened to the "I wish I'd been aborted" line of kid's clothes?
Posted by: Bubblehead | April 20, 2006 at 03:56 AM
For eons, the gender-normative hegemony reduced humyns to wallowing in the same reproductive muck as mosquitos, funnel-web spiders, bilge rats, and Karl Rove. Today, that hegemony is crumbling, and the transfigured and enhanced reproductive reality is speaking truth to power.
Posted by: Moonchild | April 20, 2006 at 04:32 AM
"That's not Wayne Newton. That's my Mommy!"
That wasn't coffee shooting out of my nose. That was... OK, it was coffee.
Posted by: Che | April 20, 2006 at 05:24 AM
Strange that you should post this. I had a very Lyberal, I mean, Progressyve, dream about having two Mommies last night. In the dream, my two mommies were Angelina Jolie and Pam Anderson. Oh well, another trip to the laundry room...
Posted by: Bush4Ever | April 20, 2006 at 05:25 AM
But the question is, where do you see the insidious influence of peeResident Chimpysmirker Cokespoon Flightsuit Jr in this tale of liberal love? Did he cause the chilly rain? Did he cause Easter Monday? Is he responsible for the bigoted heterocentrism of millions of years of evolution?
Posted by: peasant | April 20, 2006 at 05:47 AM
I liked the way these same sex couples, in their bid to be viewed and treated the same as hetero couples, wore the rainbow colored leis to make themselves stand out.
That's speaking truth to power sistyrs! *hip swish*
Posted by: Dodger | April 20, 2006 at 05:56 AM
Bush4Ever
Pam Anderson is a MILF. Which means, "Man, I Like Fur", I think.
Posted by: Dodger | April 20, 2006 at 06:02 AM
Libmeister. You CAN get AIDS from a toilet seat... if you sit down before the other guy gets up...
Posted by: DoubleU | April 20, 2006 at 06:32 AM
Why were 'progressive' gay and lesbian couples participating in a weekend of terror?
Posted by: aelfheld | April 20, 2006 at 06:49 AM
"Spermatoza doesn’t grow on trees, you know."
What!! You mean my Momma been lyin' to me all these years?
I'm gonna have me a little Tahk with HER!
Sounds like someone is going to get the "Beating of the Week."
Posted by: OmarTheTentMaker | April 20, 2006 at 07:00 AM
The liberal ... I mean, Progressyve people at Google have outdone themselves!
Just enter the search term "failure" and then hit the button marked "I'm feeling lucky"
They speek truth to power.
Posted by: Neocon-pincher | April 20, 2006 at 07:16 AM
Just enter the search term "failure" and then hit the button marked "I'm feeling lucky"
Did you know that everytime you search for failure NSA is opening your e-mail?
Posted by: OmarTheTentMaker | April 20, 2006 at 08:10 AM
My two mommies tried to raise me as good as they could, but they failed. Sadly, I turned out to be a heterosexual. I KNOW it's not what Gaia intends for us, but I can't help my feelings. Even a steady diet of Cher and "Sex In The City" hasn't changed me.
Posted by: Wilderness Fox | April 20, 2006 at 08:34 AM
" Even a steady diet of Cher and "Sex In The City" hasn't changed me."
Wilderness Fox,
Have you considered adding Bette Midler to the mix?...or home decorating shows?
Posted by: RoCkY mTn LiOnEsS | April 20, 2006 at 09:02 AM
Parents rip school over gay storybook
The Monarch of Massachusetts, Edward Kopechne-Kennedy, and Barney "Footlong" Frank need to get on this and see to it that this Enlyghtened Lyberal, I mean, Progressyve, teacher is allowed to teach 2nd graders about Gay Marriage!!
Posted by: Bush4Ever | April 20, 2006 at 09:27 AM
Hmmm... Rocky MtL... I have dabbled a bit in the two, but I never made a concerted effort. Perhaps incorporating those things along with Pet Shop Boys and repeated viewings of "How The West Was Hung" and "The Man Who Loved Liberty Valence" will change me.
Oh, if only one of my mommies was Dick Cheney's daughter (a lesbian)!
Posted by: Wilderness Fox | April 20, 2006 at 09:49 AM
"...Dick Cheney's daughter (a lesbian)!"
What!!??? STOP THE PRESSES!!!
Posted by: Bush4Ever | April 20, 2006 at 11:27 AM
David Crosby has lucid moments? And thank you very much for the wad of bubble gum on my monitor after I read that screed.
Posted by: PTPFP | April 20, 2006 at 11:47 AM
This has to go in my Top Ten "BlameBush" posts. A true classic.
Posted by: TexMom | April 20, 2006 at 12:10 PM
Yes, heaven forbid the families just celebrate a nice, normal easter outing...sheesh!
Posted by: Ali | April 20, 2006 at 12:17 PM