Rage Against the Dying of Our Rights!

In a week full of profound speeches by patriotic progressives, President Al Gore’s stood head and shoulders above the rest. The right-wing dominated media will, of course, attempt to make him look like a raving lunatic by printing everything he said word-for word. They pulled the same trick on Howard Dean. So it’s important that unbiased and objective pundits such as myself set the record straight.

Al Gore’s powerful oratory Monday was not only a testament to the skills of his lesbian manliness coach, but a righteous roar of rage against Bush’s wholesale destruction of our most fundamental civil liberties. For the past six years, Gore has sat quietly by while Republicans furiously chipped away at the Bill of Rights. However, the news of Bush’s domestic spying program was the last straw, and as a patriotic American War Hero he was duty bound to stand up and say, “Enough is enough!”.

Bush continues to deny that he has done anything wrong and insists that he will only eavesdrop on the telephone conversations of people who are “a threat to national security”. But that could describe just about any liberal Democrat in Congress. Does Sen. Kennedy deserve to have his phone sex interrupted for the sake of Bush's war on terror? And what of the thousands of legitimate calls to and from terrorists every day? What if you or I were to simply dial Osama Bin Laden’s number at Crawford by mistake? Does that make us terrorists? Does that negate our rights as American citizens?

Al Gore doesn’t think so.

Bush also claims that his new American Police State is for our own protection. He insists that spying on terrorists may actually prevent another attack on our soil. Maybe so. But at what cost? What good are a few American lives if they are saved at the expense of our most precious civil liberties? The right to carry box cutters onto planes. The right to leak classified information to the New York Times. The right to make long distance phone calls to Al Qaida. All sacrificed in the name of national defense.

Thousands willingly gave their lives to secure us such cherished freedoms. If a few thousand more must die to maintain them, then that’s a price Al Gore is perfectly willing to pay.

Comments

[Bilgeman]

Chom-steen;

Is it just me or does it look like President Algore is about to blow chunks all over the podium?

Regards;

[Menstrual Rainbow]

You appear to have inadvertently included a picture of the President Gore sex doll rather than the real thing. No matter, it is reassuring to know that if the Chimp hadn't stolen the election by refusing to make every non military vote count*, we could sleep safely knowing that our constitutional right to speak to those whom our government deems "terrorists" was protected.

* I personally discovered over 3000 extra Gore votes, I was washing chads out my pockets for weeks afterwards.

[The Exorcist]

Ozone Al B. Shure is right. I was knee-deep in steamy, hot, gay, phone-sex with that hunky cowboy from Brokebackside Mountain when, all of the sudden, I heard clicking and buzzing sounds. The operator interrupted right as the Brokebackside Mountain Volcano was ready to erupt and said: "Collect call from Attorney Gonzales"

It never ends. It never goddamn ends. When will our people be free? WHEN WILL THEY BE FREE??!!

[Kiki B.]

"President Gore sex doll"

Oh, Perpetual Menstrual One. There are so many ways I could go with that statement, I don't even know where to start. Okay, here goes. Does the doll have a firm or limp "handshake"?

[brainsample]

Does this mean Al has finally found "controlling legal authority"?

About time, dammnit!

[camojack]

I love that picture...

[Dork]

I physically love that picture...

[Me]

Is it not time to cut & run, methinks.
Before Hillary cometh.

[OmarTheTentMaker]

Billary is HERE!!!!! What age do children have to enroll in the Bu$hler youth?

[Kiki B.]

"Start them from preaborted fetal age" is my motto, Omar.

[Moonchild]

A dead, white male who was a slave owner and had a taste for ice cream said that evil wins if good persyns do nothing. Today, I sent my daily letters: one to Haliburton with an updated body-count-to-profit ratio (BCTP) and one to the nice people at Reynolds Aluminum in gratitude for their continuing assistance with leftovers and keeping my thoughts free of 'interference'. Today, Al invented the "iPod", modeled for an adult novelty company, and delivered an impassioned speech for human rights.

So, before those reich-wingers start shrieking, I have to ask: what did they do today, other than shove homeless people in front of busses and deliver pork barbecue and beer to the local Mosque?

[Bush4Ever]

Al Gore Rhythm

You're damn right Al Gore is a war hero!! He, just like Jean Francois Kerry, served a few months in VietNam unlike Der ChimpenReichsFuhrer who only flew planes over his AmeriKKKa.

[OmarTheTentMaker]

Now your tawking Bush4Ever!!!!! Too bad they never served in Greece.

[libmeister]

Isn't AlGore simply groovy? He's our prophet of truth, just like Ray Nagin. Thank Gaia!

[Bush4Ever]

My name is Al an' I ain't takin' no dis, ya knows dat I'm a homey an' I got it like dis!!

"We say legislate, they say investigate," he bellowed to the outdoor rally. "We say educate, they say interrogate. We say illuminate, they say instigate. We say unify, they say vilify. We make the tough decisions, they take depositions. We find real solutions, they launch prosecutions. We know our future's nearing, they want to hold more hearings."

[Bu$hCausedMyGout]

He's so hot.

[Menstrual Rainbow]

[Does the doll have a firm or limp "handshake"?}

Both, in an attempt to satisfy all markets the makers have ended up satisfying no one, just like the real Al Gore!

[D. Ox]

Congratulations on a hilarious blog/post. Check out the similarity between Algore and Yugo Chavez. And please consider putting a link to our blog, you'll show up in our sidebar "Blogs that we read and that link to us" area.

Drop us a note any time you put up a new post on these topics, they're the same as ours nearly.

All the best,
D. Ox
http://thomistic.blogspot.com

[Arbiter]

Gore should be seriously considered for "Brokeback Mountain 2- Revenge of the Cattle Prodders"

He personifies macho!

[Bu$hCausedMyGout]

Gore should be seriously considered for "Brokeback Mountain 2- Revenge of the Cattle Prodders"

That is so hot. Of course it would take an electric cattle prodder to elicit any kind of emotion from him during the act, I assume.

[Ali]

I just wanted to say...YOU ROCK!
Thanks for keeping us informed!

[dave]

Being a progressive, I've had to face the fact that I'm smarter than most people. But I will never be as smart as Albert Gore III. I mean how could you read this blog if he didn't invent the internet?

( get out your crayons and write a retort, you bu$halabrurton cave dwellers!)

[Osama Bin Laden]

When have I ever steered you folks wrong? I mean, come on. This truce I'm offering you, it's the real deal. Seriously, would I lie? Forget about it.

I've been watching the polls, people. I can read the writing on the wall, even if your president cannot. Half your country would prefer me to be sitting my boney ass in your White House to the warmongering Bush, for pete's sake! (I'm seriously considering a run at it too, believe me. I'm waiting to hear back on some internal polling we've been doing to see how I would stack up against Hillary in the primaries.)

And even more want you out of Iraq (a country with which I have had absolutely no ties). Your citizens are calling for your troops to withdraw, tut suite. Your own military experts weep at the idea of staying one day longer. Weep! Actual tears, right there on my television. (My bud Saddam would have Patton-slapped that Murtha character for such a display, btw. Another reason your weak nation will fall.)

And trotting out your failed political leaders and having them pound on their podiums like a coked-up Hitler isn't helping your image (although it does wonders swinging those aforementioned polls my way.)

But hey, I didn't come here to pick a fight. Just surrender already, okay? I'm a reasonable fellow. I don't attack without cause. You be reasonable, and I'll be reasonable. That's all I'm saying.

[Fallyc Symbyl]

Caption:

"And then Monica went underneath Bills' desk and went like this . . ."

[Kiki B.]

Bill had better hope and pray that wasn't Al under there by mistake(or on purpose).