No Mercy for Iraqi Children Under US Military’s Reign of Terror

The Right-Wing Attack Machine is at it again. Over the weekend, esteemed Senator, decorated war hero, and rightful inhabitant of the White House, John Fitzgerald Kerry spoke candidly on Face the Nation about the hopeless quagmire in Iraq, and why our troops are such heartless bastards.

“There is no reason, Bob, that young American soldiers need to be going into the homes of Iraqis in the dead of night, terrorizing kids and children, you know, women, breaking sort of the customs of the -- of -- of -- of -- historical customs, religious customs, whether you like it or not. Iraqis should be doing that.”

It’s all pretty cut and dry, and certainly nothing we haven’t heard from other Democrat leaders and high-ranking members of Al-Qaeda for months now. But before the program was even over, the right-wing blogosphere exploded with typical hate-filled bile, ignoring the crux of the interview to dwell on one or two little lines that were spoken completely off the cuff and shouldn’t be taken literally. Chickenhawk Hannity, Fatty McFatso, and Fraulein “Hooray for Internment Camps” Malkin all got their digs in, resorting to the same old playbook they’ve been using for years. By constantly spinning the senator’s nuanced statements to mean what he actually says, the fascists of conservative punditry intend to "Murtha” Sen. Kerry by forcing him to be held accountable for every tidbit of wisdom that spews forth from his stately blowhole. But John Kerry won’t be bullied. Anyone doubting his authority on the quagmire in Iraq need only remember that Rush Limbaugh had anal cysts in 1965.

Despite what republican radio hacks want us to believe, Sen. Kerry is absolutely correct: the U.S. government is indeed ordering jackbooted squads of armed goons to bust down the doors of private residences and terrorize women and children – actions that are entirely inexcusable unless done to reunite nice little Cuban boys with their loving Uncle Fidel. During these nightly raids, Muslim customs such as the ceremonial greasing of the sacred yak are completely ignored, and large collections of priceless weaponry and improvised explosives are confiscated without recompense. But perhaps out of his unwavering reverence for our brave soldiers who are merely unwitting pawns in Bush’s war games, John Kerry did not expand on all the details of our military’s campaign of terror against the innocent children of Iraq.

In addition to their barbaric stormtrooper tactics, U.S troops have been waging a highly documented guerilla war on the children of Iraq for some time. Inhuman atrocities are committed on a day-to-day basis with the full awareness of officers at all levels of command. Large numbers of soldiers have been known to descend on small Iraqi villages like packs of wild dogs, forcing unsuspecting children to wear second hand or off-the-rack clothing in a fashion reminiscent of Jingus K-mart. Many children are subjected to bizarre medical experiments and given mysterious injections. Countless more suffer unexplainable weight gain and, in rare circumstances, borderline chubbiness.

The coalition forces want desperately to paint a rosy picture of their horrifying activities. As these staged photographs suggest, many children laugh and sing at the arrival of troops, perhaps out of fear for what might befall them should they express the true, unbridled hatred that most Iraqis and half the population of Massachusetts have for our military. But as soon as the cameras are off, the innocent laughter turns to blood-curdling screams as the unsuspecting children are herded into small, non-descript buildings, where they are held against their will for several hours a day and brainwashed with pro-western propaganda. As helpless parents look on, crayons and construction paper are shoved into the tiny hands of their crying sons and daughters, who are forced to produce variety of arts and crafts with virtually no pay or health benefits. Finally, once the tots have been thoroughly “re-educated”, they are hastily ground up and fed to blacks in New Orleans.

It’s enough to make anyone sick to their stomach, but John Kerry has seen it all before. He fought to bring an end to similar atrocities in Southeast Asia, and in return for his patriotism he was assailed by GOP attack dogs like the Hateboat Haters of Hate, a group of Bush lackeys who claimed to have served with Kerry in Vietnam yet never once sat on his lap and called him “Daddy”. John Kerry volunteered for four years in the military so he could spend the next forty attacking it with impunity, and he won’t be intimidated by those who “had better things to do” than hook cell phones up to human genitals and turn up the power when their country called.

Comments

[Dork]

This is one of the bests posts in a long time. It was greeeeaat!

...he was assailed by GOP attack dogs like the Hateboat Haters of Hate...
-LibLar

If I had a nickle for everytime I've heard the term "swiftboating" used negatively... I wouldn't be a socialist.

[Bubblehead]

We should leave now so the Iraqis can take Kerry's advice and start terrorizing 'kids and children' themselves.

[Bubblehead]

A pox on you, Dork. The first post should have been mine! Had I not previewed (to avoid the "nickel/nickle"-type problems) I surely would have won.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Yeah, I don't trust those photographs any further than I can throw them. They were obviously staged shots taken in one of the back lots at Halliburton Studios, where I happen to know that Gary Sinese is a contract player.

You will notice Sinese clearly visible in one of the pics. My guess is they were shy on extras to play the Iraqi school children, and figured the veteran character actor could pull it off.

And he almost did, if not for my trusty magnifying glass.

[Dork]

"A pox on you, Dork. The first post should have been mine!"
-Bubbles the Gay Clown

This same thing happened on AIDS day.

[MMM'BILLY]

I have set myself on fire in honor of that wonderful and delightfully long post.

ALSO, for those still interested in aiding me in making a fun, witty satirical tune, please send mail to MMM_BILLY01@yahoo.com and we'll go from there.

[MMM'BILLY]

BTW, thx for making me aware of that site Lar, those are some powerfully positive (and real) images.

[Moonchild]

Pres. Kerry's comment about the Iraqi's needing to be the one's who kicked down Iraqi doors is correct. When Iraqis kick down an Iraqi door at 2am, rape the women, raid the refrigerator, consume that leftover falafel, and make long distance phone calls, it's done out of love.

[Ra'ed Serling]

ATTENTION!!! ALL IRAQI CHILDREN WITHIN THE SOUND OF MY TYPING!!! DO NOT TRUST THE WAR MACHINE ANDROIDS OF SCOTUS-SELECTED CHIMPFACE SMIRKY DUMBYA BU$HITLER!!! THAT PAMPHLET THEY HAVE WITH THE ENLGISH LETTERS ON IT? IT SAYS "TO SERVE THE IRAQI CHILDREN" AND...AND...AND...IT'S A COOKBOOK!!!

[spd_rdr]

"Anal cysts" is a vision that will stay with me all day.
Thanks, Lar, for speaking truth to...uh...what?

[Pat'sRick©]

Wonderful. So many choice bits that I won't even try to pick a favorite, although "half the population of Massachusetts" has got to be near the top.

[PTPFP]

I thought Senator "I know Junjis Khan Kerry" volunteered for four months of duty on the mouth of the Cambodia River. It is because of this site that I know the truth
about his record and I am so ashamed.

Brilliant satire.

[ALa]

You claim to "support the troops" because you call for their retreat and then you link an organization that does TONS for the troops and send all your trolls over to say horrible things at their site...? What was the last thing any of you did besides bitch and moan? What does the Blame-America-First crowd have to offer? I'm waiting to see. If you claim to care about our soldiers, marines, sailors and airmen you should not be degraded an organization that is helping them in such a significant way.
The hypocrisy is tangible…

[Bilgeman]

LibLarry:

Y'know, I hear that there's a Juvenile Abu-Ghraib set up in an unspecified Eastern European country where the most patriotic and religious of Iraqi tykes are forced to watch "Barney" and "Teletubbies" all day and all night.

Their See-Eye-Yay captors know that they've been broken when they start wearing FUBU and whining for an X-Box.

Children, Larry. These are children!

Regards;

[Lewis Faerychaun]

Al-A (an obvious Al-Queda name), you need to shut your gender specific, wal-mart shopping, anti-gift giving tree, New Orleans corpse eating mouth. How dare you suggest that we don't support the troops of the fascist theocratic regime of HolyBushmerica?!?! Our support is obvious when we expose the TRUTH about the terroristic actions of the soldiers, marines, sailors and airmen. The troops aren't eating Iraqi babies and teabagging Iraqi women under cover of darkness because they want to... BuSHITler ordered it!!! Do you think some organization sending SHOES to an Iraqi child who was anally raped in Abu Ghraib by KKKarl Rove is going to make it all better?

It is your hypocrisy that is tangible my friend.

[Howard Dean's Barber]

Absolutely right on, Lar! There is no possible way to bring democracy and freedom to this new "IraKKK" until Jimmy Carter goes over there to supervise these "elections" the right-wing controlled media keeps force feeding us news of each day.

Only when every IraKKKi is as ashamed of their democracy as we are can Bu$Hitler's war finally end.

[Dave]

hateboaters of hate......Lar, I have to change my pants now. Keep speaking truth to power!

My headline: Hatefilled Hillbilly US troops give Iraqi kids candy leading to dental problems!!!!

[aelfheld]

If Iraqi tots are being "hastily ground up and fed to blacks in New Orleans", who are the blacks in New Orleans being ground up and fed to?

[Crouton]

I see those kids are being forced to give the "Heil Hitler" salute...

It's so sad to see Iraq being transformed into a fascist dictatorship.

[Kiki B.]

"unbridled hatred that most Iraqis and half the population of Massachusetts have for our military"

Don't forget 68% of Californians, 76% of Oregonians and 87% of Washingtonians.

"who are the blacks in New Orleans being ground up and fed to?"

Aelfeld, you just thought that was Tofurkey you had for Thanksgiving.

[Sillary]

Liberals! Can't live with them... can't live with them!

Liberalism Exposed:

http://www.airfarceone.net/leftylexicon.html

*

[Bu$hCausedMyGout]

We support our troops! By calling them out on their baby-killing facist torture methods, by stopping their freedom of speech on college campuses - it's all for their own good. Why doesn't the Reich wing realize this? We only call them out as terrorists because we support them. We only want to curb their free speech because they disagree with us and if you disagree with us it's a "hate crime". It's for the good of everyone. It takes a village to support a military.

[ALa]

Damn, guess the "Bush Gave Bon Jovi AIDS" ribbon should have tipped me off... ;) Sorry for the scolding!

[Talking Toaster]

"As helpless parents look on, crayons and construction paper are shoved into the tiny hands of their crying sons and daughters, who are forced to produce variety of arts and crafts with virtually no pay or health benefits." --Liberal Larry

This is very troubling. No compensation nor health benefits is very un-scoialistic and against OSHA and ACLU regulations.

It also brings back memories as a young toaster in the factory. I would be driven to a re-education center know as "Kindergarten" where I was given crayons and paper and forced to draw pictures while the guards called "teachers" mocked my work. I too did not receive compensation nor free dental benefits.

That was the year that Jesse Jackson made his famous "I have a vagina" speech. Next, busing of children for the suburbs to the inner city ghettos began. This was of some use.

Because of the lack of dental benefits in the prior re-education center I soon developed a bad case of glaucoma in the 1st grade. Luckily, because of my new inner-city classmates I had access to 1 kilogram bags of glaucoma medication. Between each class we would go to the rest room to have a quick toke on the communal joint to re-medicate ourselves for the next session of re-education.

But, we were never compensated or given free medication in that circumstance. A gross miscarriage of justice which has never been righted.

I hope that the Iraqi children will learn from our mistakes. In fact, I would suggest the ACLU institute a class action lawsuit on behalf of the under paid and under medicated Iraqi children for 1.6 trillion dollars and a life time supply of glaucoma medication.

Further, the troops should be busing Sunni kids into Kurdish schools and providing condoms and a one ounce bag of glaucoma medication to each and every child.

It may be too late for my generation but if the ACLU, Ramsey Clark and al Qaeda work together they can turn this Vietnam Quagmire into another Cambodia.

[libmeister]

Even our brilliant progressyve, John Kerry, believes American soldiers are nothing more than friggin' terrorists terrorizing children and raping Iraqi women just like Genghis Khan. What more evidence do we need that this has been an illegal and immoral war against a wrongly deposed Saddam Hussein?

Saddam's right, he's being unjustly judged by a court imposed upon him by American hegemonists. Along with Howie Dean we must admit our defeat, re-install Hussein as supreme dictator of Iraq, repair all his woodchippers that we've damaged, and immediately withdraw our warmongering American stormtroopers before they impregnant every virgin and grandmother in Iraq.