With the announcement of the anxiously awaited Big Two Triple-Donuts last night, we passed what I like to call a "grim milestone". Two thousand soldiers killed for a lie. Two thousand lives destroyed in an illegal and immoral war waged without cause, reason, nor France's blessing. Two thousand young men and women who will never experience a consensual relationship with a member of the same gender, nor enjoy their Constitutional right to choose.
TWO THOUSAND! Let that figure sink in for a moment. It's a hard number to fathom, especially for caring, sensitive progressives such as us. Most of us don't make two thousand dollars a year, or take two thousand showers in our entire lifetimes. A stack of two thousand pennies would tower 9.5 feet off the ground and come to about twenty bucks. $16.98 if they're Canadian pennies. Two thousand pencils lined up end-to-end would stretch from the earth to the moon and back again, not to mention waste a lot of nice trees just to prove a silly point.
Although we wouldn't be caught dead at a Support-Our-Troops rally or a Veterans' Day Parade, progressives across the nation will gather in their communities tonight to honor those we've spent the last 40 years dishonoring: the baby-killing, corpse-burning, genital-mocking, Quran-mishandling, innocent-civilian-torturing, wedgie-giving, uneducated, brainwashed fascist morons who were tricked into joining the military by unscrupulous recruiters. It's not a celebration mind you, but a time to collectively mourn the loss of people we care enough about to actually pretend like we give a damn. And while our maudlin displays of national self-loathing may ultimately embolden the enemy and bring us closer to the Big Three-Oh-Oh-Oh, each candle we light will cleanse us of any misguided guilt we share for constantly kicking our uniformed men and women in the metaphorical nards.
We owe the troops that much.
UPDATE: Here are some photos of the somber "2000 Dead Troops" festivities in San Francisco.