The first known case of Mad Cow disease in the history of the United States has been traced back to a pet food plant house in...well, I'll be! TEXAS, of all places! Waco, Texas, to be exact. Not far from where a certain U.S. Attorney General saved America from a cult of Christian fundamentalists and their highly combustible offspring. Researchers have concluded that the infected cow was born twelve years ago, shortly after the Shrub's one-termer pappy was run out of the White House by Bill Clinton. A clear cut case of vengeance, you say? Perhaps. I was inclined to think so myself, until the other shoe dropped right onto the front page of this morning's paper.
Apparently, the newly elected President of Iran, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, has been fingered as one of the key players in the 1979 Iran hostage crisis - a "crisis" orchestrated by CIA director George H. W. Bush to make nobel laureate Jimmy Carter look like an ineffectual, limp-wristed weenie, and provide Ronald Raygun with an excuse to sell arms to the Ayatollah. The funds were used to finance a private war against the peaceloving Nicaraguan Sandististas.
The total value of Nicaragua 's Beef production in 2002 was estimated at $170 million U.S. dollars. In 1994, the year after Bush infected our little calf, Nicaraqua increased beef production from 112.9 million pounds to 132.3 million pounds. Last month, Bush secretely met with Central American leaders to discuss the hush-hush Central American-Dominican Republic Free Trade Agreement. CAFTA is financed by the World Bank, an organization whose name is mentioned prominently on progressive websites ran by people who live in tin foil houses and hear voices coming out of their toasters.
As World Bank chief Paul KKKWolfowitz (seen here assaulting two Black children) can tell you, the largest menaufacturer of toasters in the U.S. is General Electric. Yes, the same General Electric that once employed a Mr. Dubya James McNerney, who played baseball with his pal Bushie at Yale. Today, McNerney was named CEO of Boeing, a major profiteer in Bush's illegal and immoral War on Terror, and quite likely a Joo as well. It was Bush's fondness for the Great American Pastime that led him to purchase the Texas Rangers in 1984 and immediately FIRE the best pitcher in the history of baseball, Nolan Lynn Ryan, born August 12, 1947 in...
You guessed it! Nicaragua.
Funny how it all comes full circle, isn't it?
Did a young George Bush infect cattle with Mad Cow disease to drive progressives insane with talking toasters? Or was it a clever plan to line the pockets of his Big Nicaraguan Meat Buddies and get back at Nolan Ryan for trying to kill his Pa? There seem to be more questions than answers. But the questions alone are enough to put Bush behind bars for the rest of his life.