Florida Woman is Brain Dead, Autopsy Confirms

An autopsy performed on the Brain Damaged Florida Woman, or "Terri Schiavo" as her ignorant parents call her, confirms that she is in fact brain dead, and chances of a full recovery are slim at best. This must be tragic news for the right-wing cons who have maintained all along that she was a living human being, and thus deserving of the same rights to life and liberty typically reserved for cop killers and terrorists. Science trumps superstition once again. Progressives: 9,974, Religious Zealots: 0.

But it's still to early to spike Schiavo's frito-sized brain into the end zone. The struggle to preserve the fundamental right of all Americans to Die with Dignity is far from over. Republicans claim to be against government interference in our lives, but even as progressives form a conga line around Terri Schiavo's grave, heartless repugs are working diligently to undermine all of our deaths. Religious voodoo rhetoric from right-wing polemicists like the Pope has done serious damage to the Right to Die crusade, but there's still a glimmer of hope for those longing for death - either their own, or of a loved-one whose continuing existence has become an inconvenience to everyone. Courageous Democrats in congress have taken up the battle flag of our forefathers, who valiantly gave their lives so that future generations could snuff their spouses with impunity, free from the prying hands of republican politicians, meddlesome parents, and unscrupulous doctors who seek only to prolong life. But they cannot win the war against the coming Bush Theocracy alone.

The choice our generation faces will decide the future of America: Do we want to live in a Republican dystopia of moral absolutes, where men are men, womyn are women, and our children curse us for forcing them to be born? Or a Progressive Utopia where they thank us for allowing them to die?

UPDATE: The Seattle P-I must read my blog.

Comments

[Jeremy]

"heartless repugs are working diligently to undermine all of our deaths."

LOL

"The question our generation faces will decide the future of America: Do we want to live in a Republican dystopia of moral absolutes, where men are men, women are women, and our children curse us for forcing them to be born? "

Thank you Larry for speaking the minds of lyberyl prygryssyves.

[Damian G.]

But what is "dead," anyway?
Is it the state in which one ceases to "live," or is it when one votes for the oppressors of prygryssyve thought?
By that logic, we could very well "kill" any Republican we wanted, pre- or post-birth!!!
We could call it "preventative death penalty" or (GASP!) very, very, very, very, very late-term abortions.
We shall continue to defend the right of the unborn and sick to die!!!

[JannyMaeTSK]

Are Andrea Dworkin and Susan Sontag still dead?

[Hankmeister]

All the Rethuglikkkans are brain-dead. I vote we deny them all food and water and let them die an euphoric death. I'm sure Howie Dean would approve.

[al-Bundy Martyr Brigades]

I, for one, am deeply offended by your insensitive characterization of this womyn as "dead."

Having consulted with her and others via my ouija board, I can tell you that they prefer to be referred to as "physiologically challenged."

[camojack]

Her mother could have avoided the whole sordid business to begin with, by simply having an abortion.

What was she thinking?!

[CKCat]

Actually, Camojack--
Don't you think the blame lies straight with grandma. Look what she made her own daughter and granddaughter go through. She's the one who chose to set he fetus of Mary Schindler on this road!!

DAMN! We Progressyves are Masters of logic & reason, ay! Once again, I am forever endebted to The contigency of Rhodes Scholars who inhabit DUnderground for my education and enlightenment.

[camojack]

CKCat:
Well...I presume that Terri's mother was born prior to Roe v. Wade, so she didn't really have much "choice" in the matter.

To quote Joan Crawford: "No wire hangers!!!"

[CKCat]

"Well...I presume that Terri's mother was born prior to Roe v. Wade, so she didn't really have much "choice" in the matter."

So what! it's ALWAYS been a womans own body, and her right to call the shots re: her body! Obviously no progressyves in their lineage that would embrace "if it feels good, do it". To WHOM did they owe any explanation or account??... How lame. Just cowardice if you ask me....and even if you don't!

[Che Guevarito]

When I read the title of the post, I naturally assumed you were writing metaphorically about the Florida courts (i.e. Lady Justice, who is also blind as long as you're a rich, white male).

When I realized you were talking about Terry Schiavo, I searched my brain for a reference. Nothing found, I Googled her. Then it all came back to me. The dignified death womyn who wanted nothing more than to be starved and dehydrated while her husband nailed some other broad. That evil little woman who organized the Eichmans with Ice Chips movement.

It's almost anticlimactic for us (Except Michael, who never denies himself the opportunity to climax.) that she was too brain dead to feel the euphoria flow through her as her kidneys crystalized and her liver cracked from thirst.

Hopefully Michael's next wife will be slightly more cognizant when he pulls the plug on her.

[Sarge]

You goddamn commies!

I remember when I was shot in the head in Nam. Or, was it in the Bronx? Hell, what difference does it make?

All I remember is waking up in the VA hospital with a hose up my John Henry. My mom was standing over me, the old bat, and I can remember clearly hearing what she had to say.

“I always thought that son-of-a-bitch would end up in prison. Just like his no good father.”

Where was I going with this? Oh, yeah…

Well, they welded a steel plate into my forehead and sewed the cojones back to my crotch. I’ve always been a lucky bastard. I walked out of that hospital good as new.

If it had been up to you screwball hippies, my mother would have pulled the plug and left me there to die.

So, the next time you low-life, death worshipping, stink weed smoking commies want to yank the plug on some poor jackass, think of me. If it had been up to you, I wouldn’t even be here.

Semper Fi!

[DancesWithBullets]

Sarge is an excellent example of pulling plugs should be mandatory in all cases except that in which a progressyve might be involved. Hopefully our savior Nancy Pelosi Will create a "good policy" and allow all sick people the right to die with dignity. I'd suggest withdrawing Bush's "feeding tube" or "dinner" first. Then we can "move on" and allow Dick Haliburton Cheney the right to a euphoric end by starving that racked old codger. I would suggest maybe practicing "starvation Therepy" on Michael Moore or Rosy O'donnel to see if its really as Euphoric as they say but honestly people we haven't got that long. Bush will only be in power for a few more years.

[RWing Nut]

Thank Gaia for the high-minded judiciary. Without them, poor Michael Schiavo would have had to wait for another 10 years or so for closure. Remember, we have an inalienable right to closure under the "if it feels good, do it" clause of the Constitution. Not the US Constitution written by rich, white, slave holding phalluses; the evolved Constitution interpreted by the penumbral musing of the black-robed oracles er justices.

Hmm, I wonder if I could get closure by having my ex-wife starved to death. She dumped me so she is obviously brain dead, using the international standard of course.

[DancesWithBullets]

Hmm, I wonder if I could get closure by having my ex-wife starved to death. She dumped me so she is obviously brain dead, using the international standard of course.
I have a similer problem. I'll have to write a letter to my congressmyn asking that he support Pelosi's new legislation to allow anyone I want to get rid of to die with dignity. For Gaia's sake I can't make those child support payments for 18 years. How will I be able to afford pot and bong upgrades?
This is really harshing my mellow.

[Che Guevarito]

I'm curious Sarge. What were you doing when you were shot in the head that caused your cojones to become detached? Don't worry, doing that doesn't make you gay (unless you swallow, of course).

[Sarge]

Che, you heap a shit commie, why you always thinking about playing that skin flute? You're gonna end up like that Wacko Jacko if you don't stop. Notice those funny lines around his mouth and chin? That's what happens if you keep up that kind of stuff.

I'm a man's man. Now, I know that you don't have a clue in hell what that means. Let me tell you a little about it.

I was riding my scooter when I was shot in the head. I think it was in Saigon, but it could have been up on 195th Street, too. You know what happens when the bike and you decide to go their separate ways? Nads blasted against the gas tank and handle bars. Some whore had to wrap them up in a Kleenex. The bike kept going and made a perfect circle. Damned thing ran over me, and my bitch went straight up in the air and landed on top of me. Road rash over 95% of my body.

But, as I say, I've always been lucky. Few pins in the ankle... hell, the old lady kind a likes the scars from the stitches on my scrotum. Had a tatoo done a few years ago looks just like a baseball. Used the stitches for the seams. (Ha! I bet you'd like to see that. Fat chance!)

What I want to know is this... If you damned hippies like to watch things die so much, what the hell you got against a guy owning a few guns? I got a Remington side-by-side shotgun, a .357 magnum, a 9 mm. automatic and a few pea shooters, and hell where I live that's barely enough.

Think I'll take a few hippies off life support pretty soon, if you catch my drift.

[mkultra]

Huzaa. I feel my mellow was harshed as well.
I nearly tripped over my glass bong while I read this. I really shouldn't walk around with my laptop while I am reading Larry's blog.

When I heard the news that the afore mentioned brain dead person went to a euphoric and heroic death. I too thought of a few brain dead people that need to experience some of this wonderful and brave new world that has been opened up by our holy black robed fathers in Washington D.C.

I say get rid of everybody that isn't of any fun anymore and turn them into Soylent Green like they did with Edward G. Robinson.
Then we can give the Biscuits to Bono and he will give them to starving Africans. Waste not want not!

Here are some Bono Biscuits, they only sell them in Japan right now. Well they have to do something with all of those Suicide heroes. The Japanese practically invented the right to die back in WWII. Their culture could teach us much about the right to die and why people want to strapon bombs and kill us. By the way George bush gave me IBS.

[Che Guevarito]

9mm? That's metric. Why would you shoot something with a metric weapon instead of, say, a .45 caliber? Doesn't France use the metric system?

It all makes sense now: You're a Legionaire sergeant! I have new-found respect for you. I'm a bit baffled that the Foreign Legion has weapons, but I guess you have to drop something when you're retreating.

[mkultra]

Strapon Dildos not BOMBS!

[Ditzy Chick]

mkultra,

I like the idea of strap on BONGS!...well....anatomically relocated from where your strap-on preference would be, of course.

[LB]

Why didn't we feed Sarge's biscuits to the starving hordes? What do we call a scrotum with a baseball tattoo on it? Double header comes to mind but isn't quite the picture I had in mind. A hole in one? Nah...a single hitter? Hm...now we are getting somewhere. Of course, Sarge, being the deep thinker he is, would 'know' about the lines around WJ's mouth and what they are purportedly from...but I digress.

Why Sarge's mother didn't pull the plug was that he had no life insurance and had to get to work as a Midnight Cowboy to pay the bills.

I am sure we will see him in Larry's 'Midgets and the Kama Sutra' class, taking notes on how to deal with
'loss.'

[Cricket]

I like the Soylent Green aspect of allowing them to die.
This means less to pollute Gaia and we not only have zero population, but a negative growth where more are dying than are springing up to take the place of the global slaves in tsunami land, Kyoto World, and Bush's Joint.

Then soon we will see that only one persyn will be left alyve to do all the work in shutting off life support for everyone.

[Hankmeister]

I bet all the intelligent, progressyve people are having their lawyers draw up right-to-die papers that explicitly spell out that if they are found in similar circumstances like Terri Schiavo, they too want to be starved or dehydrated to death.

And since it's so euphoric and humane, why doesn't Bu$haitan use it on the detainees at Gitmo.....? See, witholding such humane treatment from terrorists and convicted murderers on death roll just because of a mere Constitutional technicality is just what you expect from this mean-spirited neo-kkkon kkkabalists! At least there wouldn't be anymore prisoners to worry about and those poor misunderstood Muslim fundies would get what they've always wished for, their 72 Virginians.

Say, isn't progressyve Democrat Robert Byrd a Virginian and a former KKK member? Hmmmmm, maybe he has a solution based on experience regarding the innocent Gitmo prisoners.

[Hankmeister]

Please, forgive, fellow progressyves. I was on a roll myself. It's "death row".

[JannyMaeTSK]

Hankmeister, I thought you were referring to a cyanide-laced dinner roll! Gotta watch those carbs, ya know!

[Pat'sRick©]

I finally read the 39-page autopsy report and was surprised to learn that she died from dehydration. Who could have known that?
Apparently, from the report, she never had a heart attack or an eating disorder. Wonder what happened?

[howie]

This family tragedy ilustrates the need for stem cell research. Which has been blocked by G.W.Bush. If he were really «pro-life» as he claims, there might of been some kind of bneakthrough by now; maybe even healed T. Shiavo.

[JannyMaeTSK]

Yes, Howie, and we would have resurrected Christopher Reeve and he'd be walking around, now, too! It's really a shame your post is so devoid of facts.

...bzzzzz...bzzzzzz---*swat*

That's better!

[Pat'sRick©]

Breakthrough? You wnat breakthrough? Check out what Adult Stem Cells can do.

[Che Guevarito]

Howie's right. But he's ignoring the repulsive consequences of fetal stem cell research. Namely, Raygun would still be around trying to start a global nucular holocaust on homosexuals, progressyves, and athiests.

[beaverette]

Howie

Bush has blocked state funded stem cell research but not privately funded stem cell research.

Dont pretend you dont know it.

Imagine what Walmart could fund with its quarter of a trillion , or to be precise, 256 billion dollars because, like you know, Bush said they can if they want to.

[JannyMaeTSK]

President Bush has blocked only Federal Funding of EMBRYONIC stem cell research. He opposes the continued destruction of embryos for research purposes. The assertion that he is, "blocking stem cell research," is basically a dirty, rotten lie, as there is still privately funded Embryonic Stem Cell research going on. The truth is, that Embryonic Stem Cell Research is showing very little promise. Pat'sRick is correct! ADULT stem cell research has shown a lot of promise.

[JannyMaeTSK]

Extracting stem cells from embryos to establish embryonic stem cell lines kills embryos. Embryonic stem cells have proven difficult to work with and have a propensity to form tumors in experiments. Despite continuing embryonic stem cell research, to date there are no clinical treatments with these cells.

These facts are in contrast to the real success of adult stem cell research in which adult stem cells have been used to treat 56 different diseases. Adult stem cells are present in the body at any time following the embryonic stage of growth in the womb and throughout the remainder of an individual's life. Adult stem cells of newborns are also found in umbilical cord blood and the placenta. Neither the use of adult stem cells nor the establishment of adult stem cell lines involves the destruction of embryos or any disproportionate risk to the individual from whom the cells are taken.

http://www.freep.com/voices/columnists/ecataldo15e_20050215.htm

[DancesWithBullets]

Whats going on here? Can anyone please explain to me how curing people of illnesses will help them die with dignity?
Honestly people, you act like you actually want to live.
the important thing is that womyn can stll have abortions and feel good about it even if dead baby cells don't work as good as live baby cells.
Baby? whoops....I meant interuterine vaginal parasitic growth. whew!!

[CKCat]

Another anti-Hollywod, Anti-Left, Anti-Bipartisan ploy of the ShrubHitlers to conveniently orchestrate & order the release of Terry Schindlers Autopsy report this week...... quickly after his Califoria bound Tsunami proved to be a dud...HAHAHA Shrubya!!! Ya lost that one!

WHY?....WHY?.....WHY?......
I'll tell you why he did that! (but no more than one time) It was in order to divert the MUCH deserved attention away from a National Hero........ the honorable Michael Moore who happend to be lying down on the beach shore when the Tsunami hit!~ He proved himself not only a defender, protector, peace Army of One, but a savior. Only Gaia hyrself is deserving of such praise.

For all the pain Mr. Moore endured, for all his bravery, does he not deserve some euphoric, peaceful reward like was granted Terri S who did WHAT for humynkind????...

[Dude]

Poking fun at Terri Schiavo's death only proves that Republicans were only using her for political milage.

You people suck and I would enjoy watching you die, with dignity of course.

[Che Guevarito]

Dude, who's poking fun at her death? This topic would only enable dark humor if we were able to find absurdity in the lack of sanctity of human life. As progressives, we know that life, especially human life, has no value whatsoever. Our comments, therefore, are not humorous, but merely inane chatter.

[Bubblehead]

Woah, Dude... kind of a non-sequitur, maybe? You see -- this is a comment board for progressives; since you seem to be mad at Rethuglicans, you should go to a board where you can tell them that they should die, not us...
Anyway, I have a non-sequitur of my own, but I'll try to tie it in with the general content of the thread. Although many of us were unhappy that Terri Schiavo had to continue living for so long, at least her eventual death brought many people to the realization that one simple abortion 35 years earlier could have solved the whole mess. It's the same way with when Bu-shame comes in and changes all our name-link URLs. The URL that Bush-aitan always changes my name to has a jingoistic post about weird protesters at a Soldier's funeral, but through this thread I found a Boise blogger who's even more progressive that Che or I! Just check out the first comment in the thread, and follow the links to his wonderful site!

[Hankmeister]

Wasn't there a recent breakthrough announced by an Australian research facility regarding olfactory stem cells? Even if it proves to be more efficacious (look it up, howie) than embryonic stem cells, who wants to even think about the possibility of snot-producing-stem cells curing Superman or Terri Schiavo?

KEEP KILLING THE UNBORN BABIES! AT LEAST THEY AREN'T SNOT!" Hmmmmm, that might make a good bumpersticker.

[Cricket]

Dud,
You don't think we don't see the hideousness of her death? GET a freakin' CLUE.

[Comrade_Smirnoff]

It's selfish and unfair to live over the age of 30. Just think about all of the resources you consume! We should limit our lifespans so as to leave more for future generations!!!

Ever seen that movie 'logan's run'? That's how it SHOULD be.

It’s time that Religious nut cases realized that life is not a right. Life is a privilege given to us by the Government, a contract which comes with RESPONSIBILITIES and OBLIGATIONS.

Up the workers!!!

[donm7007]

Bubblehead-

That was the sickest/saddest thing I have read all day. I don't know how to setup a link but here is a URL that might cheer you up....

http://www.blackfive.net/main/2005/03/after_action_re.html

[Chauncy Biggins]

"Florida Woman is Brain Dead, Autopsy Confirms"

That had to be the most clever title to a post I've ever seen.

[claude]

along with the folks arguing right to life/right to death there's another group. this group is more sinister. they were lamenting the fact that the cost of keeping terri alive was cutting into the funding that they feel should be going to them. some people who have never worked a day in their life and live on state assistance begrudge the elderly population for using money they feel they should have.

[adam & stever]

Dude, If the republicans had had their way she would still be alive today. Air America had the best Tarri Schiavo mocking.

[Liberal Larry]

"Poking fun at Terri Schiavo's death only proves that Republicans were only using her for political milage."

Get over it, Dude. According to the autopsy report, she's been dead since 1990. The repugs have been fawning over a lifeless slab of meat for 15 years! So the joke is on them, isn't it?

[Hankmeister]

Comrade Smirnoff,

I like your thinking. Similarly, on a cost/benefit, basis this nation is clearly wasting far too much wealth and far too much resources on getting old geezers a couple more months of life. Think if all the money that was spent to keep that old shell of a human being tripping along an extra year or two - when they really contribute nothing to society other than making their children feel guilty about warehousing them in a hospice care or a retirement home - think of how much good it would do FOR THE CHILDREN!

Why should it always be the youngest among us (rhyme intended) who run the risk of making the ultimate sacrifice to help cure other generations of humanbyngs? I think your "Logan's Run" paradigm has some real merit to it if only these neanderthal right-wingnut religious whackos would quit regaling us about the sanctity of life. I mean, how many really old people like being old?

And as another progressyve has already noted, what's so bad about Soylent Green? Think about it...with everyone ending up green, we'd have a truly monochromatic society! Who would care about black & white, red & yellow anymore if everyone ends up green! My new motto is: When its your time to quit, don't raise a snit. And maybe by the time I reach old age we'll be able to find another solution to this problem of geezerdom.

[notyou]

Well, I don't know about anyone else, but I don't mind being old. I keep thinking about the alternative. Besides, plenty of my hard earned tax money has been spent to support able bodied young people who don't work. So, its their turn!

This is not satire. Although I do appreciate the satire on this site, I'm just too old to get those braincells working (like when I was young) to produce some of my own. Does mean they're gonna, "cut my water off"?

[Their Coming for you now!]

Yes it does.

[Friend of USA]

As soon as we run out of oil, water will become the new oil.

Cars will run on water and the evil USA will control everything from the water in pot holes after rain showers to the clouds it came from, and when we then begin to run out of water, obviously, cutting water to the elderly will mean more water for water-engine-Hummer-owners .

There will be secret laboratories where people extract water from French wine and sell it for twenty times the price of the wine.

Cat owners will buy this illegal water on the black market to avoid the 3000% tax on pet-drinking-water.

But worst of all; there will be a tax on Bong water.

( I could be in deep trouble if I ever revealed who my source for the above information is, all I can say is that it's a cat who calls himself;
" Deep-Purr". And Deep-Purr's source is
" Deep-Goat" - a name that may or may not have something to do with a certain part of his anatomy. )

[Hankmeister]

Hey, in the words of that brave and extremely intelligent proto-progressyve Aldous Huxley: "It's a Brave New World out there!"