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aelfheld
[...] procured their wealth by exploiting third world labor.

You say that like it's a bad thing.

camojack

They have LOTS of money in Africa!

I keep getting e-mails from people there who want to share it with me...

Ditzy Chick

"a man who has never once been photographed in a dashiki."

Isn't that the name of like the highly fuel efficient....actually ELECTRIC...SUV that belongs to John Kerry's wifes relatives....that he was seen driving?

All ya ever see Shrubya in, other than that smirk, is a limo, gaz guzzler Air Force 1, or his gas guzzling farm truck. I seriously doubt any of his richest 1% cronies even own a Dashiki, nor would they buy one for their kids, even as their first car.

CKCat

Lib Lar,
First thing that came to mind when I read your story title alone was the song from the Irish group: "You Also" .

Is this your way of trying to tell us that Dubya is a belly dancer?

That's some friggin' weird bidness. I'll betcha you were writing this under the sink by flashlight---or would that be by Bunsen burner?

Jeremy

"a $17 gift card to Sam Goody for every man, woman and child in Africa - except for those white racists who keep whining about having their farms confiscated and families hacked up with machetes."

Larry, you are capturing the essence and heart of what every liberal wants!

Thank goddess for larry!

bongrips

Wow...Now I really hate U2. I thought they were just some "fag" band from the 80's but now I know the truth. Bono=Stalin.

I thought satanic bands such as Black Sabbath and Iron Maiden were to blame for all the worlds ills.

It was Bono???

Holy Shit.

Eddie is so pissed because he thought he was the satanic puppet of Reagan/Bush.

Motherfucker.

So now I have to go out and buy old U2 cds if I want to rebel against society.

Life truly sucks.....(loads the gun.)

Vishnu Troll Daddy Earth Goddess

If it will help the starving in Africa, I will happily make free tapes of all my Greatful Dead records!

russ

Gosh! I feel such a fool!

All this time I thought it was incompetence, ignorance, corruption, and the love of the effects of AK-47 and RPGs by Africa's noble peoples that was driving the hunger, the death rates from A.I.D.S., and the hacking and slashing in paradise places like Darfur...

Now I find out its all Bush's fault, damn it!

Hankmeister

Yeah, and speaking of wiping out hunger and the deficit, if you ignore the three million homeless (which was really closer to 300,000) during the Clinton years and the 5.3 trillion dollar deficit that he passed along to the Bu$Hilter regime, Bill Clinton cured the homeless problem and gave this country surpluses during his eight years. Everything since then is Shrubya's fault.

BTW, if there were any hungry Americans during the Clinton Presidency it was because of the Bush/Cheney/Haliburton/Congressional Repuglikkkan cabal which denied minority children free school lunches and threw all those retired people who could least afford it out onto the streets to eat dog food. I bet PETA has something to say about that!

Cricket

But if he refuses to sign Kyoto, the greenhouse gases will make the barren wastelands fertile again...or so Algore says...Goddess, I am so confused.

KJ

Why can't we just turn the tropical storms around and make them go east to Africa. Then they will have enough rain to grow crops, and the damage done by the storms will result in FEMA assistance for buying chain saws and generators.

Pat'sRick©

I like KJs plan. If only we could convince Bu$Hitler to get his oil buddies to invent that weather control device we've needed for so long.
They could bring it to market this year, but Haliburton-Cheney holds the patent and refuses to sell.

Pat'sRick©

Global warming in the past decade was due to the high concentration of Greenhouse gases that polluted the atmosphere. Now global warming is due to the clean air without greenhouse gases. It's so hard to stay current.

Pat'sRick©

Oh, wait. Now I see. Global warming is the Shrub's fault because he won't sign Kyoto. The moment the ink is dry from his signature, we will then worry about global cooling.

al-Bundy Martyr Brigades

KJ's onto something. We need to pass a law requiring every other tropical storm to go east toward Africa, rather than west toward Florida. Sort of affirmative action for storms.

Nancy Pelosi needs to get cracking on this.

Hankmeister

"We need to pass a law requiring every other tropical storm to go east toward Africa, rather than west toward Florida."

Gaia, no! Since this is a global problem we need a UN Resolution requiring every other tropical storm to go east toward Africa. And since we're the most powerful nation on the earth, then we need to the US Supreme Court to legislate from the bench ordering the good Mother Earth to beginning revolving on its axis in the opposite direction. Only then can the Coreolis Effect cause an eastward track to storms in the Northern Hymisphere.

Cricket

Well, then as a true progressyve, all in favor of a UN resolution backed by Hillary Clinton to pass a law requiring tropical storms of a certain magnitude to go farther east, say GAIA!

al-Bundy Martyr Brigades

Hankmeister,

The US would pass the law only after getting France's permission - that goes without saying. Once Dominique de Villepin gives his/her assent, the US may proceed.

But maybe you're right. We don't want the US to extend its hegemony to the climate, too. Defend climate diversity! Stop meterological imperialism!

brainsample

"...will become fertile agrarian oases ruled by benevolent genocidal maniacs. "

And we damn well better make sure that Monsanto keeps their grubby paws out of the process by permanently banning all genetically modified crops from being planted.

bluestateredneck

I would love to see Nancy Pelosi hold forth on the global warming/starvation in Africa thaang. I pop a chubby when I see her get all passionate and her neck waddle starts to flap in the breeze.

Vishnu Troll Daddy Earth Goddess

If we would only love each other, eschewing generations of war and religious hatred, casting aside the tradition of crusade against jihad, embracing a new awareness of culture, society, and collective soul, then the resulting harmonic convergence would calm the troubled spirit of GaiaEarthMother, ushering in a new era of harmony and peace, in which AirWaterFireEarth could synergize, soothing the troubles of the land--indeed, the weather, global warming, famine, drought, disease, pestillence: these are the work of MAN, MAN in his hegemonic quest to dominate, to enslave, to persecute, to kill, MAN has so wounded the heart of GaiaEarthMother that She has no choice but to rise up against MAN; when MAN can become HUman, then all will reverse, allowing HUman back into the folds of grace, of love, of truth.

Cricket

I think Vishnu has been reading the writing on the bottle of Dr. Bronner's soap. Either that or that was his subtle way of telling us he got a new job writing the copy for the labels.

Way to go, Vishnu!

al-Bundy Martyr Brigades

That's beautiful, man. I can't write such truth to power even after chugging several bottles of Robitussin.

CKCat

Good googly moogly, Cricket...my 1st thoughts too reading Vishnu's Brilliant Bonner-esque Castile Soap label. I like the Peppermint. (~;)

Come to think of it, the bottle would be a lovely addition under Larrys sink. A perfect accent.

Friend of USA

Maybe global warming is just Gaiea / earth going through menopause and having hot flashes?

- - -

Totally off topic: One of the most entertaining things about learning ( I'm still learning ) a second language is discovering very creative expressions such as " pop a chubby " that people use to describe sexual functions.

Thank you bluestateredneck, I learned something today.

Now I'm giggling like a school boy everytime I say it out loud.

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