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So this Re-thug-lick-un walks into a drug store and says "I'd like some condoms." The progressive behind the counter gets them for him and says, "That'll be $6.12 with tax." And the Re-thug-lick-un says, "I don't need tax; I'll just tie them on with string."


Liberal Leninist Larry:

"People like little Julio, the blind, double-amputee child from Costa Rica who earns minimum wage working as a foot stool for a wealthy Republican banker."

Damned "Free Traitor" out-sourcing Rebublican Fat Cat Bastids!

That used to be MY job!

"We were also just treated to a 10 cent gas tax hike to pay for road repairs they'll never make and a choo-choo train no one will ride."

Larry, you boob! If the roads aren't repaired, then the lumpenproletariat won't have much alternative other than riding the cho-choo train, will they?

Give the caring and wise public servants in Oh-Lumpia SOME credit, willya?



Doggone IT! If the dead people in Chicago can escape taxes but are forced to vote, then why not in Washington, too. It would help where those tax laws are concerned.

Not just the quadraplegic grannie and double amputee immigrants benefit from SPAM taxes, but imagine the cash in the coffers if each ungrateful person who had the unmitigated gall to complain about taxes and their late night, hard working legiSantas was forced to suck the jelly stuff out of a case of spam?!?!? Then quadraplegic grandma has alot more cans to pickup.... Julio of Washington can buy himself some nice suicide bomber action figures with $ other than his min wage footstooling pittance. Everybody wins, unless the bong has that SPAM™ jelly stuff in it.

Larry, don't forget to leave out a plate of cookies and a glass of milk for your hard working legiSantas. I have a recipe for SPAM, avocado, peanut butter, liver, chocolate, marshmallow, cookies I'll share. Tax free.

I think Bilgeman even has a special Italian Sausage recipe he got from one of his co-workers. (Can you believe how he's defending the oompa loompas of Oh luumpia?)


Here's my favorite tax...idea.

Partisan Pundit

"You know they don't have much money if they're eating chili out of a can."

Now wait just a damn minute. I make a pretty decent living, and CHOOSE, that's right, choose to eat chili out of a can. Ok, sure, I heat it up first because, well, yeah, I can afford electricty, but still!

P.S. - Hey! BTW, I just found your blog from a link on, er, uh, I think Ace of Spades. Sounds like you are a feller Warshingtonian, land of the eternal road construction that never actually gets done.

Evergreen State? Try EverConstruction State.

Miles of pretty orange cones, but you never actually see anyone working. Your tax dullards at work.

Partisan Pundit

And why does typepad require an email address? You just KNOW I'm gonna put in something bogus so the spambots don't get me.

Rosie O'Donnell

Well that 6.5% sales tax on cosmetic surgery is the deal breaker for me. I am feeling pretty smug about the fact that I got the pneumatic penile implants last year and managed to cheat the taxman.

Larry, my advice is to go with the subcutaneous finger-pump. The lithium cells in my battery pack leaked and stained my 'scrotum' a rather nasty shade of green. Now, ordinarily I can wear green, but unfortunately it clashes with SHMBO's brown 'mustache'


*sob* Can't we do something for the quadriplegic bllind grandmother? Can't she get a baseball contract as the home plate and let Ken Griffey slide into her? Or is this the wrong thread?

Prince eDog I of Lichtenstein

I thought Georgia was the only state that forced liquor stores to close on Sunday. Sunsara herself would be proud of the blow that the totally legitimately elected Gregoire has struck against "the opiate of the masses".


Rosie O'Donnell:
"Well that 6.5% sales tax on cosmetic surgery is the deal breaker for me."

Is that 6.5% per breast, or per pair?

"I am feeling pretty smug about the fact that I got the pneumatic penile implants last year and managed to cheat the taxman."

I wondered what you were doing over by the tire inflation compressor at the gas station.

Hot date, huh?


Che Guevarito

Damn it, Larry. Reading your column made me homesick. Growing up east of the Cascades in Washington, we got to enjoy all the taxation and none of the construction projects you coasties got.

Thank goddess Idaho (Ada county, at least) is working hard to catch up to Washington and California in its omnigoodness and taxation. We already perpetual road construction. In a few years, I expect we'll have as many homeless as Portland and a choo-choo of our own!

Che Guevarito

And if you see Julio, tell hym to get hys butt home! Daddy needs a footstool.


If you love taxes so much, you can pay mine while you're at it.


Seems to be a trend toward building choo choos that nobody will use. We passed a bill here in the East Valley of Phoenix, recently, to spend megabucks on a light rail system which, even its proponents admit, only a handful of people will use. Can anyone say, "kickback?"


" I expect we'll have as many homeless as Portland and a choo-choo of our own!"

I read your's a wonderful thing to pay people to dream of Idaho in 2033 isn't it?

Maybe in 2033 Idaho can join the EU!

I especially liked the emphasis on high speed passenger rail lines going border to border, while also expressing plans to bring Idaho out of "Flyover Country" status.
"Rollover Country" has a much nicer ring to it.

Government is wonderful, isn't it?


Liberal Larry

In the Seattle PI this morning:

"The Legislature just passed a 9.5-cent-a-gallon gas tax increase over four years. Guess what -- it wasn't enough."

And it just keeps getting better:

"Meanwhile, the gas tax package passed by the Legislature contains a proviso that if the region's voters don't enact a transportation package by January 2007, the Legislature will re-allocate money away from the megaprojects or redefine them."

It's beginning to look alot like Christmas!


Ah, the Socialist Model of the Left Coast.
We were stationed at that fascist training facility down the road from Seattle, Fort Lewis. Those were the days of Our Brother of Perpetual road construction, as the I-5 corridor was improved, but most notably between Tacoma and Olympia, the Professym's home town.

Not only that, the unemployed who lived near the overpasses near Lakewood and Steilacoom made an excellent living selling their job preferences and salary requirements at the freeway exits with signs like 'Am hungry. Will work for cash. No canned goods please. I don't have an opener.' They were tough negotiators, as working for food was not an option.


Che -- you're a Boisean? Me too! We should get together and reveal to all the neo-con Repukelickuns here how Bu-shaitan likes to go to gay beach parties.

Lonely Man

Thank god they didn't tax prostitutes.

Pol Pothead

Lonely Man:
"Thank g*d they didn't tax prostitutes."

Like, politicians will never tax prostitutes, man. 'Professional courtesy' and sh*t...


Well, I wish they HAD taxed prostitutes in Beantown for the DNConvention at the Fleet Ctr. Ms. Fleiss had to call in all her reserves for that one. Howard Dean would have had a much better budget to work with now, not to mention, all that extra hooker tax coulda bought [rightful] President Kerry the Whitehouse, dog-friggin'-gone it!!!

And then add in the cha-ching $$ made off of enemas, too!!

Partisan Pundit

Remember the new baseball stadium in Seattle? The one the put up for a public referendum vote twice, and it got defeated twice. And then the city fathers said, Fuque Yew, and tacked on a mondo gas tax to pay for it anyway.

And then everyone realized that "Democracy" was just a word, and benevolent socialism was reality.


Wow, did somebody snuff out your bongs?

What is all this talk about roadws not being built like its a bad thing. Every road built is like being assraped -- and not by George Cloney, but by Darth Cheney.

And Larry, don't you know that Botox can bu used to help quadra amputated grandmothers regain some of the dignity which was taken away from them by KKKompassionate KKKonservatives. And besides, people like our fearless leader should not be subjected to a tax on Botox as they require it to defeat Shrub and Darth Cheney.

Besides, don't you think that this man would defeated Shrub with a little face work?

On the subject of Christmas (and new taxxxes), at least the Great State of Kalifornia has finally realized that evil conservatives who want to go out and shoot cute little man-eating mountain lions should have to pay a tax every time that they kill and inoocnt little kitty and the money goes into a relief fund for the mountain lion's cubs (naturally, the jogger who was eaten by the mountain lion was a conservative, so her children should be turned into SPAM). Furthermore, the State has realized that the second amendment is ill considered, and does not apply to it, so they now prevent anyone under 21 from buying ammunition at all.

Viva la Big Brother.

Bong hit (tax deductable in California)

. . . . .

P.S. On a bad front, the city of San Francisco, long a bastion of Progressives has considered taxing marajuana dispenseries which allow quadamputtes and repuglikkan footstools to get over their pain.


Great picture of Shrillary! ☺

spd rdr

Interesting...if all other Benedictine "sins", such as "casual boozing" are taxable, why not "taxable sex?" What if those that *cough* "chose" *cough* to burden the Federal Tit with the mouths' of millions of "wanted" children were taxed a proportional amount for the services that these social miscreants consumed? Supply-side be damned! Tax breaks for abortions would clearly show that lesser life for some results in a better life for some others. In fact, if we could just reduce the ratio of taxpayers to tax consumers to 1:1, just think of the immediate benefits to Gaia!

Oh man. There are spiders on the walls.

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