Liberal Larry's Great Big Link Dump

Now before you accuse me of going all mainstream on you, please, hear me out.

I had hoped that by hitching my star to internet diva Iddybud, a veritible tsunami of visitors would flood into my blog, and my name would spread across the blogosphere like syphillis through a Bangkok cathouse. But aside from affording me the opportunity to use the Bangkok Cathouse simile again, honoring her as Liberal Larry's Blog of the Week has turned out to be an exercise in futility. I got one measly hit from zenmaster Hunter S. Warbucks and that was it. So I've shamefully had to whore myself out to Blog Carnivals like a side-show geek. Little did I know that I'm supposed to offer a reciprocal link back to their blog in return. Tit for tat, Clarice. They give something of value, and then they selfishly expect something of value back. It defies every fundamental precept of socialist theory!

I guess I could simply skip out my "responsibilities" the way Bush did in the Texas Air National Guard, but liberals aren't allowed the same luxury as the sons of wealthy Republican congressmen. I don't want the jackbooted Blog Nazis dragging me out from under my sink in the dead of night like they did with the Dixie Chicks. Besides, a "Link Dump" will be a perfect excuse for not posting anything substantive today.

So, for your surfing enjoyment, I present Liberal Larry's Great Big Link Dump:

Goddess help me, my recent post on cat hunting made it into the latest Carnival of the Cats, and I have no one to blame but myself.

My Crazy Freak Fetus article made it into the Best of Me Symphony. If you haven't read it, be sure to go there and click the link, which will lead you back here. What will these internet wizards think of next?

Reader "Mike B." sent a link to an article on a progressive idea whose time has come: Free Poopin' Babies. In order to prevent the planet from being buried under a mountain of dirty Pampers, environmental experts are requesting that we stop putting diapers on our infants and try parenting for a change. If we can tell when the dog needs to "take a walk", we should surely be able to discern when our own children hear the call of nature, and quickly dangle them over a wood-chipper or something to do their duty. Perhaps one day, in a more enlightened age, parents will follow their butt-naked children around the park with pooper scoopers.

And finally -

I don't have a very high opinion of satirists. Satire is merely a way for unintelligent, emotionally unstable people to make themselves look clever. A perfect example is The Therapist, who thinks he's funny, but only comes off being very mean and spiteful. I read it daily, if only to see how low he will sink.

That does it for my first, and hopefully last Link Dump. Believe me, this has hurt me more than it hurt you, and I promise that in the future should I not have anything worthy to post, I'll do us all a favor and not post anything at all.

Comments

[BignJames]

Free Poopin' Babies? Forget the pampers and toilet training, I leave mine in the yard unless they start to chase cars, then I chain 'em to a tree out back.

[Cricket]

Mine are house broken. So is the house. I have to go to Larry's sink to get cleaning supplies.

[Che Guevarito]

I just use a pressure washer and some Oxy Clean.

[aelfheld]

Babies? Infants? Children?

I thought that in your world they were referred to as unaborted fetuses.

[Ry]

One thing I have always wondered: Why have some called Vitamark a “ground floor opportunity with a twenty year track record”?

Thanks to Larry's Great Big Link Dump, I wonder no more!

[camojack]

I'd post a clever remark, but I have to go take a dump...

[The Therapist]

Just for that, I'm going to read myself daily, just to see how low I will sink.

And thanks for the linkup, Larry. Made me laugh out loud.

-T

[Poo Barrymore]

Whoa, Larry. So like you were hunched over like a dog in the woods when you left this dump?. [one normally does leave a dump, not take one!] Awesome!

Drew 3rd world Poo Barrymore

[camojack]

OK, fine...so I had to go leave a dump.

Happy now?! ☺ ☻ ☺

[Barbara BoxEater]

LL...You are a son of a bitch and I hope you rot in hell. You have ruined my life and my career.

And I thought we were a team.

As a senator for the independent, sovereign nation of Kalifornia I thought it was quite clear that my platform is to represent the morally challenged. To bring them freedom to act in unspeakable ways without suffering retribution from ShrubHeads. Yes Sir. I am talking about the Homosexuals.

As you can tell from my pictures I am a full on Dyke and I love the Box. However, since you are responsible for me viewing Iddybuds site and subsequently any photos of her I hold you personally responsible for ruining my desire to munch on carpet. I was throwing up for hours and then, after 20 years, Aunt Flow came to visit me again. The horror.

I believe you are responsible for my forcible reconversion back to the world of he-he-he-heter-hetereosexuality. See, now you've even made me stutter.

You are a true scum bag. Since I am also forced to revert back to Christianity at least I can find comfort in the fact that you will indeed rot in liberal hell. You Asshole.

[State of Jefferson]

"Barbarica";

You only think you are senator from the soverign nation of KKKalifornia. Those of us in the State of Jefferson know better. Besides, your a pussy compared to Feinstein, now she is a real . . . something.

[Red Loser]

Hmmm...I ran across this article in our student newspaper today. In delight, I wrote the following response (a big progressive "thank you" to Larry for the "golden showers" phrase):

Dear Ms. Tucker,

This small-town, knuckle-dragging Canadian was absolutely enthralled by your Wednesday column. I never realized how ignorant I was until I read the words streaming from your pen, refreshing and delicious like the waters of our beloved Wabash River. I didn't even know that Jesus had once said, "Save thyself." I couldn't find it anywhere in the Bible, but you are much more learned than I am, so I will trust your dazzling prose. I was also impressed by the way you modeled "universal love and acceptance" by labeling the majority of Christians as hypocrites.

Your column has indeed changed my life through its golden showers of knowledge. I have decided to take your advice and bring myself up to the level of you and your fellow cultural elites. I shall make weekly pilgrimages to fine restaurants, art institutes, and U.S. Cellular Field in order to educate myself so I can be better than everyone else, just like you. But until that time, I shall stand beneath your gilded ivory tower, staring up in awe and wonder as you pelt the ignorant peasants below with your self-righteous feces.

With high regard,

[Barbara BoxEater]

State of J

Go F--- yourself. Do not compare my woman thingy with Finklesteins. She(he) had hers/his transgendermorphradited so she can urinate upright. It says it helps it's golf game.

Don't you ever comment on my genitalia again or I will cum er come to your commune and fillibuster your sorry little limp wristed ass back into the stone age.

[Vishnu Troll Daddy Earth Goddess]

Don't forget to send your best arguments in favor of gun control to those gun-totin' redneKKKs at the Carnival of Cordite.

http://gullyborg.typepad.com/carnival_of_cordite/

The world would be a perfect place if every gun could be transformed into a cute little puppy dog and every bullet became a spring flower under a rainbow sky.

[Pluto's Dad]

Yes! You used the word "cathouse" !!!!

[brainsample]

Iddybud's gig is up. Rove plant. I'm tired of this shit.

She posts the following prayer regarding Memorial Day for Workers:

A Prayer for the Fallen

We remember those we have lost with great fondness.
They gave much to the world; as individuals, family members, friends and work colleagues.
We remember their families in their enormous sadness.
For those who have died at work building a better place for the rest of us.
Those who died while constructing our buildings and expressways, hospitals and schools.
For those who have died young and innocent, victims of avoidable accidents
May we learn from this loss, honour the memory of those lost
And work towards a safer work place for all people
Where the rights and dignity of all workers are upheld above all else

- Rev. Ian Lawton

What a money-grubbing scumbag. No wonder she got implants.

When will we have a Memorial Day for fallen welfare recipients?!

[Brad]

Hey Red Loser,
Two LL fans in WL!!

[Bilgeman]

Liberal Larry:
Barrymore, apparently enthralled by the lack of a modern sanitary facilities, gleefully bragged, "I took a poo in the woods hunched over like an animal. It was awesome."

Why do you insist on glorifying those fat-cats who put Americans out of work?

What in the hell has a plumber ever done to you?

And before you defend Poo Barrymore, why don't you go dance naked in HER yard?

Regards;

[Poo Barrymore]

"And before you defend Poo Barrymore, why don't you go dance naked in HER yard?"

YEAH, baby!!! Bring_it_ON!! Tax free!!
If you need or want to, Larry, you can poo over by my garden gnome.

Why the bile about the beautiful boo boo event, Bilgeman? Because it means less work for you? Then start a landscaping company or go work for the Forest Service, you mean spirited poopyhead!

[CKCat]

"The world would be a perfect place if every gun could be transformed into a cute little puppy dog and every bullet became a spring flower under a rainbow sky."

Vishnu TDEG, you ignorant slut! Then only outlaws (rethugliKKKans) would have puppies and flowers!! The Shrubyanistas would also be drilling that rainbow sky for oil! No Skittles™ for oil!

Plutos Dad:
Why the excitement over a Cat house. The only one I know of is where I bury my "WMD" that peel the wall paper, assault nasal passages & destroy the ozone layer one 'Baby Ruth™' at a time.
Enthusiastic high paws to Pluto, BTW.

[Red Loser]

Brad, this is fantastic. I encourage you to check out the Purdue Exponent tomorrow or Friday. Hopefully, they will print my letter (although I revised it somewhat to make it less offensive but equally humorous). They almost always print these things, so I'm waiting for the phone call to confirm that I wrote it....

[Bilgeman]

Poo Barrymore:
"Why the bile about the beautiful boo boo event, Bilgeman? Because it means less work for you? Then start a landscaping company or go work for the Forest Service, you mean spirited poopyhead!"

I indeed did get a new job, since people like you began "dung-bombing" novelty garden statuary, and the demand for plumbers dropped.

Remember the "Human Depth Gauge" from the movie "Waterworld"?

That's me.

Waiting for the fireball.

Please!

[Poo Barrymore]

Dear Mr. Bilgeman:
I did not see the movie Waterworld. I can only assume you're destined as a dipstick, deciphering depths of doo doo in divergent ducts of dreck. Did I duly discern and deduce your daily duties?

Oh, and please Mr. William Preston Bilgeman, pardon my disregard for your venerable state. I meant no disrespect. However, it won't keep me from promoting the exhilirating liberation of an outdoors dumpoo.

[Bilgeman]

Poo Barrymore:
"I meant no disrespect. However, it won't keep me from promoting the exhilirating liberation of an outdoors dumpoo"

Awww, I'm not askin' you to stop outdoor scat-dancing...I'm just trying to sell you a new garden gnome:

http://www.astronomie.de/bibliothek/artikel/reiseberichte/sofi-in-zimbabwe/toilets-2.jpg

Talk about "awesome"...

Regards;

[howie]

Liberal Lary Im with you! I posted comment's on other blogs to leach traffic, and I actually got a very intelligent blogger named n to post some great comments, but my blog is infested with neocon trolls and they were so mean to n that Im afraid she'll never come back! You people kmow who you are!