Bush Destroys Iraqi Ski Industry

Bush's glorious Falllujah Kristalnacht was supposed to be a cakewalk, but it's quickly turned into the mother of all quagmires. With over 1200 innocent Iraqi casualties and a paltry 40 dead U.S. servicemen, the unlevel playing field couldn't be more obvious.

In any situation where the Marines are involved, enemy casualties exponentially, and quite unfairly, outnumber our own. So what accounts for this striking disparity? In part, the cocky Jarhead oath to "Kill 'em all and let God sort 'em out" is to blame. Another key factor is the reckless attitude of upper military command. According to Amnesty International, Donald Rumsfeld's insistence on calling the insurgents "killers" might in fact be encouraging Marines to kill insurgents. But beneath all the macho rhetoric, a darker, uglier truth lurks.

According to Army Spc. Kris Clinkscales:"The fighters were generally recognizable by their face masks..."
Let that sink in for a moment. In other words, the Marines are rampaging through the streets of Fallujah, systematically executing any Iraqi wearing a ski mask.

Excuse me, but if I went around Aspen killing everyone who had a ski mask on, they'd lock me up and throw away the key. Have any of the geniuses at the Pentagon even considered that these dudes might simply be on their way to the slopes? Those shoulder-mounted RPGs look strikingly similar to a pair of skis being carried around to me. It would be easy for an uneducated military moron to confuse the two and gun down an innocent Iraqi ski bum. Shouldn't we be more careful and a little less indiscriminate in regards to who we're shooting at? Shouldn't we at least check to see if these so-called "insurgents" have lift tickets before we splatter their brains all over the sidewalk and shout "HOO-AHH, MISSION ACCOMPLISHED"?

Once upon a time, before Dumbya decided to get back at the varmint who almost kilt his paw, Babylonian snowbunnies could head for the slopes without being shot at by neanderthal "liberators". Habib could enjoy a long day of cross-country skiing and burning infidels, then relax at the lodge without a jarhead crashing in and popping a cap in his ass. Apparently, those days are over. Bush's headlong rush to an illegal war has not only destroyed a beautiful, vibrant culture - but a thriving ski industry as well.

Comments

[Impaled Professor]

These snotty rich Neo-Cons, they can't tolerate a dark person enjoying the same elitest hobbys thay they enjoy during their all too common vacation days. Howard Dean and John Kerry, now those two never skied. If they ever did it was probably just to keep the slopes safe from any gun happy texans that might be lurking.

[aelfheld]

Speaking of uneducated morons . . .

[Stalin Lives In Boston]

Bu$hitler is a maniac. He has personally ordered every Marine in Iraq to hunt down every Iraqi citizen, convert them to Christianity, and then kill them.

The Christian right is absolutely out of control and clearly using their sneaky numbers in Iraq (1 in 33 Iraqis is Christian!) to force their religious views down the throats of Iraqi corpses.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6501943/

We must gain France's permission to annihilate the Christian dogs.

[ThaSickness]

If only we could go back to a time when Clinton was president and wasn't killing these peaceful skiiers in Iraq. There might not be any snow, but skiing on a sand dune and olling over a pile of dead Jews sounds like FUN! LOL

[Cricket]

No wonder these guys are getting whacked. They haven't had any skiing lessons given by elitist Brahmin absentee Senators.

[Cassandra]

In any situation where the Marines are involved, enemy casualties exponentially, and quite unfairly, outnumber our own. So what accounts for this striking disparity? In part, the cocky Jarhead oath to "Kill 'em all and let God sort 'em out" is to blame. Another key factor is the reckless attitude of upper military command. According to Amnesty International, Donald Rumsfeld's insistence on calling the insurgents "killers" might in fact be encouraging Marines to kill insurgents. But beneath all the macho rhetoric, a darker, uglier truth lurks.

Larry, you are a (*&^ homicidal maniac... I am sending this to my husband, who works for the Commandant - when he gets back from sunning himself in soCal...err...conducting Special Ops via Powerpoint Brief...err... an unspecified mission for the High Command, he will be dispatching some of these alleged Marines to counsel you in the proper respect for the oldest of the American military services.

And it's "OOOOO-RAH!". The ARMY say "HOOO-AAAH".

And everyone knows they're just a bunch of poseurs... :)

[Cassandra]

My God... I'm still laughing.

You are sick :)

[CavalierX]

Just imagine the carnage should Bu$hitler unleash his homocidal uniformed killing machines on the Winter Olympics!! {shudder}

[Wayne]

Then there is the universal "OOH OOH OOH OOH OOH" of barking that both of them do. Personally, I think 'HOOO-AAAHH' sounds like someone hurling. Wall to wall counseling for Larry.

heh.

[Kool-Aid Drinker's Domestic Partner]

When my beloved Kool-Aid® Drinker was still with us, we used to go up to the mountains each winter to enjoy Mother Nature and watch the avalanches take out all the rich elitist skiers who were responsible for scarring up all that pristine snow. He told me that it was even worse in summer because when the snow melted all those ski tracks made it impossible for new trees to grow in those places. Avalanches are just the planet's way of taking revenge.

So while I'm sorry that those Iraqi skiers are being killed, I think in the end it's probably best for Mother Earth.

[Amber]

If there are no living skiiers, there will be no one to complain when Bush's global warming melts all the snow off the slopes and ruins winter sports. See how it's all part of his evil plans?

[Cricket]

I am sure Vishnu couldn't argue with that logic.

*pass the bong*

[lauraw]

You know, 'Babylonian Snowbunnies' would be a great blog name.

Hey...can I hit that?

[Corporations = True Terror]

Another group that's being randomly targeted in Iraq is the recreational hunter/ gun enthusiast (this wasn't alluded to in the article, but I know about it because I'm very intelligent). This really highlights the hypocrisy of the Bush junta -- they want redneck hillbilly inbreeds [theme from Deliverance] to each have a stockpile of assault weapons in their cabin, within easy reach of their infant spawn, but they want to deny Iraqi Freedom Fighters the opportunity to possess even one recreational RPG or mortar. We need to stand atop the mountain and decry this double standard, this transparent and self-serving hypocrisy on the part of the Reichpuglican regime.

[lauraw]

How right you are True Terror.

The RPG is an important ceremonial tool of the indigenous peoples of this area, and we are committing a crime of cultural insensitivity by forbidding them to practice their ancient tribal customs.

[JannyMae]

Is that anything like the indians and the peyote? Hmmm...here is the bong.

[Kevin]

Too damn funny! ROTFLMAO!

[Vishnu Troll Daddy Earth Goddess]

I personally am in favor of all people wearing ski masks in our society. Why? Because then, without being able to see a person's biological appearance, instead of focusing on superficial issues, like "is (s)he attractive?" or "jeepers, that is one ugly person," we could instead begin to listen to each other and understand each others emotional and intellectual needs. I long for a world where no one notices, or cares, what a person looks like. Just because a person has dark skin, a scraggly black beard, and a head-dress, it doesn't make that person a terrorist. Putting a ski mask on everyone would help us realize that.

[JannyMae]

Vishnu, you are so DEEP! I'm cool with your ski mask idea, as long as I can make use of all my tie-dyed t-shirts. Like, far out, man! *somebody pass that bong back, please*

[CDR Will]

After picking myself up off the floor from laughing so hard, I then had to slap my palm to forehead and lament that I had not thought to write such a witty post.

[Ted]

After reading this post by Liberal Larry I cancelled my december ski trip in Fallujah. Damn you Geroge Bush!!!!! I've heard that they don't actually have snow skiing in Iraq....thanks to Bush not signing the Kyoto treaty. http://newsservice.blogspot.com/

[John Kerry]

The stupid SOB's shoulda used snowboards.

[Stalin Lives In Boston]

I found one more reason why Bu$h is Hitler reincarnated: members of my Kerry-Moore "wish circle" informed me that just like after the bombing of the Reichstag, Bu$h (after 9/11) took all of our guns away and took numerous verbal potshots at the Christians, saying that their religion was just another Jewish-inspired, err i mean fundamentalist-Islam-inspired joke of a belief system (which we know in our hearts to be true anyway, but i digress).

I forget what point I was trying to make... oh well pass the bong.

[Cricket]

Janny and Vishnu, truly the bong has worked wonders. I knew that passing it would get the ol juices going.
I offer a Thought about the tie dyed T-shirts in that some might go for certain patterns and colors to ID them to their family members.

So, how about an abaya for women and ski masks for men?

[Stalin Lives In Boston]

Everyone knows the Kennedys freed the slaves. The fact that they don't ever get credit for this proves the stranglehold the Reichpublicans have over our precious media.