John Kerry addressed members of the National Guard last Thursday, accusing Bush of living in a "fantasy world of spin" and "gilding the truth" about the War in Iraq
"Bush deceived you when he painted a rosy picture of the war yesterday," he told the crowd of grimacing veterans, "but conveniently failed to mention the rivers of blood and gore that flow down the streets of Bagdhad as we speak, chock full of charred American bodies and decapitated soldiers. The Commander-in-Chief needs to level with the American people and the nation about the pointless bloodbath Iraq has become, not lift them up with sugar-coated words of hope and inspiration. That's how I won the peace in Vietnam, and that's how I'll win it in Iraq."
Kerry, a highly decorated and thrice wounded Vietnam Veteran, kicked off the "Screw Morale, I Wanna Be President" leg of his campaign tour with his meandering, three hour Prophesy of Doom at a National Guard conference in Las Vegas, followed by a trip to a Clark County V.A. hospital to dispel any illusions of heroism and glory Bush may have put into the heads of our wounded soldiers.
"You're undermanned, underequipped, and undertrained," Kerry spoke to a wardful of troops in their hospital beds. "Let's face it, you guys suck. Heck, you weren't even supposed to be an Iraq to begin with - you should have been over in Afghanistan hunting for Osama Bin Laden. All the people you murdered, all the blood you spilt was for nothing...save perhaps Halliburton."
At last, someone who speaks the truth, as ugly as it may seem. After four long years of mindless, sunshine and lollipops rhetoric from the Bush junta, John Kerry is like a breath of fresh air.
"And YOU," he continued, pointing at a severely burned Marine with a medal pinned to his bandages. "You think that silly Purple Heart means anything? I got THREE and never saw the inside of a hospital."
After depressing the hell out of three more veterans hospitals, Kerry plans to spend the weekend making calls to the families of the over 1000 men and women who have died in Iraq thus far, to inform them of the "hard truth" that their kids died for no reason.
"It's time for America to decide whether they want a leader who smiles all the time and tells us fairy tales about how 'our best days are ahead of us', or one who will happily take a huge crap on national morale just to get into the White House," Kerry told reporters while riding atop a caravan of flag-draped coffins. "If you want a president who isn't afraid to lose a war in order to win the peace, then I'm John Kerry, reporting for duty!"