Kerry Stomps Numb Nuts

Boy oh boy is Kerry wiping the floor with the Shrub! This perfectly illustrates how he's better qualified to lead this country.

I'm really glad Kerry took the opportunity to clear up is this right-wing bee-ess about how voting for the Iraq war means he's a flip-flopper now for talking out against the war. Of course he thought Iraq was a threat, and he wanted the president to have the authority to use force against Saddam if he wouldn't comply with UN resolutions. But never in his wildest dreams did he expect Bush would actually use force against Saddam for not complying with UN resolutions.

This rings so true with me because I recently agreed to let my brother use my wheels for the weekend, never expecting that he'd actually do so. I thought he'd first explore all options, perhaps walk or take a cab, and only use my vehicle as a last resort. I thought he'd adhere to a strict plan, follow precise routes, and have a clear exit strategy. Instead, he just got into my car and drove it around for a couple days, never even bothering to form a strong carpool or at least consult France.

If I had known then I what I know now, I never would have handed that bastard my keys.

Another thing that Kerry said which really hit home was that he'd sit down with Iran, and give them nuclear material in return for their promise that they won't use it to build nukes. Bill Clinton used this same strategy to great success with North Korea, and it wasn't until the Shrub insulted them with proof that they were building nukes that they stepped away from the Agreed Upon Framework. Now, thanks to Bush, the whole world is living under a cloud of fear knowing that Kim Jong Il has 5 nuclear weapons. As president, John Kerry will return to the table with North Korea so that they can continue their nuclear program in secret, thus sparing us from worrying about it.

Kudos to John Kerry for having the courage and conviction to succumb to the demands of rogue states, whereas lesser minds would stubbornly refuse to be blackmailed.

Comments

[bahabuddha™]

And I like how Kerry keeps his plan for Iraq a secret. Smart. Keep that stuff confidential.

And it was extra slick how he seemed to talk about this plan for hours - when he really told us nothing at all! I like that.

The man is obviously smarter than me - so he's obviously right on all the issues. And he's ultra-rich, which makes him trustworthy.

[Kool-Aid Drinker]

All I know is, when I saw Kerry come onstage and he wasn't orange, I knew I could hold off breaking out the "special" Kool-Aid®: -- at least until the next debate.

[Robert MacNamara]

Kerry's brilliance in voting for the war before voting against it mirrors the same nuanced brillance Lyndon Johnson used in Vietnam. Voting for the war tells the terrorists that we're serious about getting them to the negotiating table while voting against it says we're not war mongers. Johnson called it "graduated pressure". Kerry calls it nuance. I call it brilliance. If the country had given the policy a chance instead of electing Beelzebub in '68, they would be seeing that policy come to fruition about now. Perhaps the American people will show more wisdom and patience today when it comes to dealing with terrorists. Thank the Goddess that we've been given a second chance to execute this strategy.

[George Winkleman]

I was so impressed with Kerry last night. He looked like a true commander. His intelligence by far outweighs that right wingnut shrub. I mean, come on... If you give them nuclear fuel rods they will come.. Everyone knows that.
I wonder what it was that Kerry was writing while shrub was belching lies. Was it something like "I am smarter than Bush, Gosh my hair looks good.." or maybe it was the cure for cancer or better yet AIDS. I'll bet if elected he will release his "wisdom pad" and cure the worlds ills. Or I'll bet it was the NY Times crossword puzzle in ink. He's my hero.

[La Femme Crickita]

The rogue states...would those be Phrance, Jermany and Rusha? Brilliant, Larry.

[Calliope]

Kerry stomped Bush in a manner reminiscent of Jenjis Khan. It was awesome! The part about the global test was the killing blow to chimp-boy. (Does anyone know what that test is btw? Is it like the SAT?)

Anyway, big night for Mr. Kerry.

[Liberal Larry]

The global test is simple. If France approves, we can go ahead and defend our country.

[Lune]

$199.00 for a shirt? Larry is insane.

[Liberal Larry]

Lune -

Crazy, isn't it?

Unfortunately, CafePress won't let me set prices any higher. Between that and the capitalist hackers lowering some of the prices, my workers might have to go back to a 40 hour work week just to feed their families. I might even have to cut back our free Tai Bo classes for unwed lesbian stepmoms of color.

[La Femme Crickita]

Lib Larry,
I have told several people who shop at Border's to tune in here and drop out and get in touch with their inner
liberal. I feel you are so connected to that state.

[Vishnu Troll Daddy Earth Goddess]

Kerry proved he is better because he looked so vibrant and alive. Bush fanatics say that their man was so so tired and weak because he was busy touring the devastation of Florida and giving comfort to hurricane victims while Kerry was getting a manicure. Well I say, bravo Kerry! He went into the debate knowing he had to do well, so he did what was necessary in order to win for the future. Bush was too preoccupied with the moment to think ahead.

[JannyMae]

Kerry looked, "vibrant and alive?" Must have been the first time, for Robo-Senator!

[La Femme Crickita]

It was the shine on the botox.

[JannyMae]

Ahhh, the botox! Thanks for, "clearing," that up, La Femme! I was just so glad that the pumpkin pallor had faded!

[ycbme]

I especially like the fact that we have a candidate that recognizes the fact that France should oversee our security. I mean come on people....IT'S FRANCE!!! Is there really any doubt that the leaders of France have a far greater knowledge of world affairs than the shrub? If there is one type of outsourcing I'm for, it's our national security to France. We could take all the billions of dollars wasted on our military (which Kerry tried to stop for 20 years) and invest it in first responders who therefore would be able to save hundreds of lives after each attack.

[Karlo]

"Another thing that Kerry said which really hit home was that he'd sit down with Iran, and give them nuclear material..." I'm more in favor of the Bush plan myself: we'll build a new class of bunker-busting nukes and then try to convince the rest of the world that our moral superiority should allow us to have enough nukes to kill every cockroach on the planet but they shouldn't have a single one. I'm sure that if we wave the flag and shout at them, they will all realize their moral inferiority and comply. Iraq, after all, didn't have nukes and look at how well we've treated them. North Korea, on the hand--hell, all we do is give them money without bringing them any of our homestyle democracy.