Bush Sends More Hurricanes Toward Florida

I already covered this in a previous post, and saying any more risks overstating the obvious. However, this issue is so vitally important that I feel I must address it again: Bush is causing violent weather conditions with his failed environmental policies, just as if he were firing major hurricanes right out of his ass.

It all seems pretty cut and dry, but many of my readers laughed at me.

"Great satire, Larry!" you said. "You're a real hoot, Larry!"

Well, my friends, it appears that it is I who will have the last last laugh, for a recent article by MoveOn.org completely confirms my hypothesis. A non-partisan organization committed to throwing Hitler Bush and all Reichpublicans out of office, MoveOn.org has concluded that the Shrub is to blame for the recent spate of killer hurricanes. His stubborn refusal to ratify Kyoto and sign our economy over to the U.N. has caused global warming, which in turn causes extreme weather conditions that take hundreds of thousands of lives every year. Millions, if you count the obligatory people who mistake downed powerlines for spark-shooting snakes and stomp on them.

The NOAA - a known GOP shill, mind you - has put its own spin on things, claiming that deadly hurricanes have actually been decreasing in frequency and intensity over the past 100 years:

"Table 5, which lists hurricanes by decades since 1900, shows that during the twenty year period 1960-1979 both the number and intensity of landfalling U.S. hurricanes decreased sharply! Based on 1900-1959 statistics, the expected number of hurricanes and major hurricanes during the period 1960-1979 was 36 and 15, respectively. But, in fact, only 27 (or 75%) of the expected number of hurricanes struck the U.S. with only 10 major hurricanes or 67% of that expected number. The decade of the eighties showed little change to this trend. Even the decade of the nineties, showed below average landfall frequencies."

It all sounds almost believable until we consider that NOAA is a federal organization, and thus under the control of Bush. Besides, scientists have already concluded that global warming causes milder weather as well, which is why Bush is to blame for lousy ski seasons. So if NOAA thinks a decreasing trend in major hurricanes gets Dubya off the hook, they're sadly mistaken.

Furthermore, NOAA's faulty data is the result of a less than scientific method for measuring hurricanes. The Saffir-Simpson hurricane scale (named after two right-wingers, no doubt) merely uses wind speed to grade a hurricane's intensity. They neglect to consider other essential factors, such as media hype, the political party of the sitting president, environmentalist screeching, and the number of veins bulging out of AL Gore's neck. An uneducated and ill-informed person may look at NOAA's statistics and assume that hurricanes are on a diminishing trend, but in reality we're on the verge of an environmental armageddon. Unless Bush stops protecting the polluters and starts shutting down our factories, the whole planet will spin out of its orbit and crash into the sun.

Comments

[bahabuddha™]

If only Kerry had your moral clarity and conviction..

[W.R.X.]

Thanks for the links. Very informative.

[Calliope]

Its all about keeping poor folks and black folks away from the polls in Florida Larry.

People displaced by the hurricanes can't vote now can they? And who gets tossed out when their cardboard box or trailer gets trashed in a storm? Poor folks that's who. Who do poor folks vote for? Democrats obviously, since Dems are the only ones that care about poor folks.

Does anyone think its a coincidence that these storms are hitting Florida of all places? You don't hear about hurricanes hitting Bush strongholds like Oklahoma do you? Of course not. Bush WANTS those people to vote.

[JannyMae]

Well... My cat got rid of that cricket, and now I have a hangnail on the big toe of my right foot. Damn that Bush!

[Walter Palmer]

Hey W.R.X. you been somking some good dope eh? So
Bush is to blame for the Hurricanes? Does he
create them? Does he fly into them and drop
secret chemicals into them when them form near
Africa so that poor people won't vote in
Florida? Maybe you listen to that show Coast
to Coast. In other words wake up and smell the
coffee. Or lighten on the dope your smoking

[seapadre]

Millions, if you count the obligatory people who mistake downed powerlines for spark-shooting snakes and stomp on them.

Sometimes I think it is Gary Larson who is writing this. You had me chuckling for several minutes.

[W.R.X.]

Dude, chill out. I was talking about the scientifical links about how global warming doesn't necessarily exist and isn't necessarily a bad thing.

For the record, I never have and never will do drugs.

[Bad Commie]

The amount of hurricanes decreased 1960-1979 because democrats were in power and were taxing the hurricanes to death. Once Reagan got in there, he stopped opressing the huricanes with taxes and they got out of control.

Bush made everyone else mad, HE WILL MAKE HURRICANES MAD TOO.

[State of Jefferson]

Isn't it obvious that the shrub is targeting florida because he is afraid that new election rules would allow the residents to actually voice their opinion, and he and his tame "supreme court" will not be able to fake the truth of the election this time.

[Herr Goering]

Your political naivete inspires. Whom do you believe was responsible for ze weather before now? The party demanded perfect weather for Kristalnacht und got it. It demanded perfect weather for Kristalnacht II in New York, und it got it. Und, it demanded a plague upon Florida, und it got it. Don't meddle mit power on this scale, my friend. Shut your electronic rag down now. The party demands it.

[spd rdr]

I just knew that Bush was behind the storms! Look at the names!
"Charley:" a good ol' redneck name if I heard heard one. How many "Charley's" are going to have the intelligence to vote Democratic?

"Gaston?" Oh yeah, Bush is trying to make people hate the French! Just because they wouldn't support the war and overwhelmingly prefer the nuance of John Francois Kerry.

"Frances?" Well, I don't even have to remind you of how much Bush hates women and gays do I? An particularly French women and gays!

"Ivan?" Oh sure! The Russians didn't support us in Iraq either, so let's demonize them. It also reminds everyone that the Republicans won the cold war. Big deal already!

"Jeanne" took me a few moments to understand, and then it hit me. OF COURSE! Jeanne Shaheen! The Keery/Edwards National Campaign Chair! Bush is so diabolical that he even tries to smear a defenceless Democratic ex-Governor! Can "Hurricane Terahza" be far behind?

Thanks Larry. It's all clear to me now.

[Deeply Concerned]

I agree about the NOAA (and the Saffir-Simpson scale is bunk. Saffir sounds Jewish, and Simpson is evidently the former senator from Wyoming, Adam Simpson). The NOAA faux history of hurricanes doesn't explain the obvious fact that hurricanes in recent years have caused more property damage than they did in, say, 1912. How big were those storms? They did, what, about $250,000 in damage? I thank the goddess that I was endowed with such a top-notch BS detector.

The senate ratified Kyoto anonymously, by something like 97-0, and Clinton was in favor of it, but Bush came along and disappointed everyone by repealing it with an executive order. Turn on the evening news. You see the result!

[Kool-Aid Drinker]

I don't think Karl Rove is behind this at all. I think God has seen the light. Check this out:

http://vodkapundit.com/archives/GODvsBUSH1.gif

[Vishnu Troll Daddy Earth Goddess]

I for one am shocked--SHOCKED--that it has taken so long for the conservatively-biased dominant-media-establishment to begin to notice the connections between the Bu$Hitler regime, the revocation of Kyoto, the increases in greenhouse emissions, the dangerous weather patterns, and voter demographics in Florida. Shrub knows that without a good showing in Florida, he can't get re(s)elected, because Daddy's buddies on the Supreme Court can't keep him in power without a case to rule on. RULE on. Ever notice that?

What do we really know about all this?

1) We are now experiencing the worst hurricane season in Florida since the Eisenhower administraion--and we all know about the massive industrial build up then that fathered the military-industrial complex.

2) This corresponds with the ongoing so-called "terror war" in the Middle East: notice that hurricane weather patterns are such that the high/low pressure vortex travels westward between the equator and the tropic--suspiciously similar to the region where we are currently carpet bombing and setting fire to oil pipelines in Iraq. Not only are we causing irrepairable harm to Gaia Earth Mother with the rape and corruption of our precious land by the warmonger--but this also coincidentally provides lucrative no-bid contracts to HALLIBURTON.

3) Meanwhile, greenhouse emissions are up world-wide thanks to the pressure put on Russia and Shrub's little pet Putin to quash the Kyoto protocols. But of course, they cleverly cast aside suspicion of collaboration by having the Russians seem to be opposed to Bushit in the "terror" war. KKKarl Rove is clearly orchestrating things at the international level.

4) The dangerous weather patterns created, entirely the responsibility of the Chimp and his goons, is predictably putting the squeeze on Florida.

5) Voter demographics, easily compiled without our knowledge thanks to Asscroft's misuse of the PATRIOT act, tells us that we can reasonably predict a disproportionate number of poor voters, mostly disenfranchised African-AmeriKKKan and Hispanics, along with the elderly, will be made homeless or otherwise so burdened by these hurricanes, that the impact on voting will be a massive undervote that throws Florida, a democrat stronghold, into the hands of the republiKKKans, without the need for a Supreme Court "ruling."

Hurricanes, global warming, blood for oil, Halliburton, stealing the election, and Florida: it all adds up. Praise Gaia that we have Kerry out there fighting for us, just as he fought in the Mekong Delta 35 years ago. And once we have him in charge, starting with election victory on November 3, we can begin to heal the harms to our Earth vessel by rejoining the international community in recognizing the dangers of CO2 emissions and re-ratifying the Kyoto protocols, fought for so hard by the brave progressives despite the denouncements of the Bushit Junta. Only by harmonizing in international unity under a banner of peace can the healing begin.

[Walter]

Sorry W.R.X. I meant to address that to Calliope
not you

[Hurricane Expert]

The Unseasonable weather in the Tropics of the Caribbean is caused by a decrease in funds sent to Africa.
Since less planes are flying TOWARDS Africa, more planes are flying FROM Africa. The planes passing over creates a dust storm which heads in the direction of the plane. The dust storm develops and becomes a tropical depression, which moves along the warmest possible waters in the ocean (in this case, the Atlantic).
Back to my point. Since BUSH has cut funding to Afriqa to deal with the AIDS virus, the dust storms are heading more and more towards America. And since Bush has been sending hundreds of ships to STEAL oil from Iraq, and the ships leak oil all over the place. The oil leaks are mostly from northeast africa to florida. Oil heats up the water, and the hurricane follows that path. BUSH's FAULT :)

[Vishnu Troll Daddy Earth Goddess]

Dammit, this is SERIOUS. We don't need posers like "Hurricane Expert" coming in here making nonsense posts that are obviously intended as sarcasm. I am all for free speech and all, but Liberal Larry needs some kind of filters to keep out the right-wing plants. How can we get the ignorant sheeple to recognize the SERIOUS danger global warming is causing when any idiot in his pajamas can get online and make a post here? This will seriously undermine our efforts to get out the vote this November 3.

[Walter]

Secret CIA planes were sighted over the Carribean when Hurricane Jeanne was over Hati. See at that time Jeanne was breaking up and Bush ordered these newly invented secret
chemicals to be seeded so the hurricane would
reform and strengthen. They also did some other methodology which has yet to be revealed. More coming.. This then allowed the 4th hurricane to track and strike south florida. When Bush was watching tv in Crawford the other night he was heard cursing when it didn't hit squarley on Miami. He was said to have placed a call to a secret location in the Carribean and cursed them out. See more minorities and old people would have been displaced had it hit further south. Monies are being funnelled into a secret Halliburton account run by someone connected to Dick Chaney so there won't be any trace to CIA funding. Developing

[Deeply Concerned]

This CIA operation might be related to Operation Cloverleaf. The Indymedia.org web site has good information on this. Basically, they use commercial airliners to aerate chemicals from high altitudes (commonly known as "contrails", but more accurately called chemtrails). These chemicals increase human mortality and gradually make people infertile, with the ultimate goal of discretely reducing the world population down to about 500 million, so it can be more easily subjugated and managed.

I wouldn't be surprised if this hurricane-seeding activity was related somehow to Operation Cloverleaf.

[State of Jefferson]

Has it occured to anybody, the possibility that there is a connection between the Saudis, Shrub, and the Hurricanes. Everybody knows that the hurricanes have caused power to go out, and consequently more women and minorities have been forced to purchase generators from kkkorporations. The outcome of this is that women and minorities spend more money on oil to run their generators (not being enlightened to the true ways of Gaia, as we are). Thus not only do the Saudis prosper from the hurricanes, but the inefficient generators create more pollution, thus increasing global warming and perpetuating the hurricanes.

[Hurricane Lightning Rod in Florida]

Drilling in Alaska=reindeer move further north= melting North Pole = floods in Canada = people leaving canada to move south = more population for america = more cars = more polution = hotter temps in the oceans = more hurricanes = the hotter temps guide the storm = heads on up to florida = florida sinks = bush doesnt have to worry about florida in the election = bush wins.

DAMN THAT BUSH.

(real view = bush/cheney 2004)

[Osama bin Laden]

MWAHAHAHHAAHAH STOOPID BOOSH-SHRUB!
VOTE FOR KERRY! VOTE FOR KERRY!
THEN I WONT HAVE TO MOVE EVERYDAY.
I COULD MOVE TO THE WHITE HOUSE :):):):):)
AYYAYAYAAYYAYAY
AIYA!
praise ALLAH!
vote for kerry and john edwards!
*Osama*-*bin*-*Laden*
me ha!

[Amber]

Hey, Koolaid, your link won't work for me. :( I get a 403 error.

[ThaSickness]

Damn Karl Rove and his magic weather machine!! Lol

[Kool-Aid Drinker]

Amber, it did that to me once when I first posted it, but then it worked. Hmmm. I detect evil Rovian Internet gremlins at work...