For years, conservatives have spun their lie that young men and women join the armed forces out of some courageous, selfless sense of duty to serve and defend our country. However, great thinkers like Michael Moore, Ralph Nader, and Ozzy Osbourne warn us that the truth is far more sinister. In reality, trusting schoolchildren are tricked into service by unscrupulous recruiters, who seduce them with promises of college tuition and veteran's benefits. As a result, poor kids from poor families unwittingly serve as cannon fodder for the right-wing's imperialistic wars of agression, while the sons of rich, white senators stay home and play Ghost Recon on their Playstation 2.
The solution to this injustice is simple: remove the incentive. End all military benefits NOW. No more free health care. No more college tuition. No more G.I. discount at Carl's Jr. Without this carrot to dangle in front of the noses of our naive toddlers, recruiting stations will crumble to dust. The military/industrial complex will wither on the vine, and the Bush junta will be robbed of the means to wage further hegemonic crusades. Peace, love, and understanding will rule the day. The lion will lie down with the lamb, and cellophane flowers of yellow and green will tower over our heads. Look for the girl with the sun in her eyes and she's gone.
The welfare system, not the U.S. military, was created to provide for America's underprivileged. The funds we've been wasting on veterans benefits and recruitment propaganda should be invested in our future, by giving children from lower-income families FREE college tuition, FREE healthcare, and FREE retirement benefits without having to actually work for it. Once we've purged the military of any impoverished youth looking for handout from Uncle Sam, we can take the next logical step and cease paying military wages altogether. After all, if our fighting men and women are as patriotic as the right would have us believe, then they should be more than happy to put their lives on the line pro bono.
Come to think of it, do we even need a military? Nations like Puerto Rico and France have done just fine without armed forced for years.
I urge John Kerry and other democrats to stop trying to woo military votes away from Bush with promises of increased pay and benefits. Once the voter is in the armed forces, he's already been brainwashed into voting Republican and is therefore lost to us. We must concentrate our efforts on the unwashed masses who have yet to be mesmerized by pot-bellied generals with tales of glory. If we can keep kids out of the service and instead herd them into approved institutions of higher learning, we can easily convince them to hate the U.S. and its military as much as we do.