Bush Ruins Olympics

Despite having trained for the Olympics all their lives, hundreds of our best athletes won't be welcomed in Athens this summer - thanks to BUSH. Oympics spokesman Mike Moran has warned the U.S. Olympic team to avoid showing any national pride, for fear of exacerbating the already seething hatred Europeans have for Americans.

"Whatever you do, don't run over and grab a flag and take it round the track with you," Moran cautioned American athletes. "Don't pump your fists, don't smile, - don't even move your lips to the national anthem."

Moran was especially worried that jingoistic displays during the opening ceremonies might provoke angry outbursts from the largely European crowd. The highlight of the ceremonies - a musical tribute to the 1945 surrender of Nazi Germany to Greece - will culminate with the traditional parade of teams from all participating nations. While other athletes are encouraged to show their national pride, the U.S. team will be pulled naked around the track with dog leashes, while the crowd pelts them with rancid tomatoes.

"If a Kenyan or a Russian grabs their national flag and runs round the track, it might not be viewed as confrontational," Moran explains. "But then again, they aren't exactly nations known for the sort of human rights abuses America proudly engages in."

Even more proof of how severely Bush has squandered the golden showers of international goodwill we received after 9/11.

Unfortunately, Shrub hasn't merely spoiled the Olympics for Americans. Despite plans to celebrate Europe's victory over Soviet tyranny by burning Ronald Reagan in effigy, the event had to be scratched over fears that the U.S. might bomb Greece in retaliation. There was also some concern that the Iraqi soccer team, making its first Olympic appearance in 16 years, might perform poorly without the guidance of their former coaches, the beloved Uday and Qusay Hussein. Both brothers were murdered by Bush last year so he could have complete control over Iraq's oil.

Comments

[Calliope]

"Even more proof of how severely Bush has squandered the golden showers of international goodwill we received after 9/11."

ROFLMAO!!!

You got me bad with that one Larry. *Gasp* I gotta wash my monitor now.

[Norman]

Well, at least, Bush hasn't ruined it for the transexuals who wanted to compete......yet!

[Ry]

". . . how severely Bush has squandered the golden showers of international goodwill . . ."

It's careless phrasings like this that makes people wonder if our beloved Larry isn't really a neocon hosting a "joke" blog to make us liberals look bad.

So many of his comments seem to have "double" meanings . . .

[Norman]

It doesn't take a joke blog to make liberals look bad - the mainstream media does it pretty well on their own. But Larry's the king.....

[Gib]

Since the appearance of the Iraqi soccer team, after years of failing to qualify, might create the false impression that things have improved since Saddam was removed, shouldn't the international community step up and bar the Iraqis from playing, at least until George Bush apologizes to Kofi Annan and Jacques Chirac?

[Harvey]

I'm here from Note-It Posts, and she's right. Best. Quote. Ever :-)

[CavalierX]

It's a shame that Bush had to go and ruin the Olympics for the Iraqis. Everyone knows that they're not capable of performing without pain and fear, which they actually enjoyed.

[Bobby Dias]

You:"Whatever you do, don't run over and grab a flag and take it round the track with you," Moran cautioned American athletes. "Don't pump your fists, don't smile, - don't even move your lips to the national anthem."

Bobby Dias : Right! Bush decides when anybody does anything! Bush even decides what democracy is- what he says!