It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

Ahhh, Tax Day! Christmas for Liberals! I got so excited as I filled out my 1040ez this evening that I nearly wet my Noam Chomsky underoos. It feels so great to do my part to keep the wheels of the government turning.

Then something happened which completely spoiled my good mood. After completing my return, I was dismayed to discover that I will be getting a "refund" of $432 this year. It didn't make sense. Last year, I actually owed money. Something had to be wrong with my math.

I redid all the numbers three or four times, coming up with the same bizarre result each time: +$432. It was a complete mystery.

I had to chuckle to myself when I finally realized what was going on.

"You can't buy me off, Bush!" I said out loud. "I don't want your dirty blood money!"

Isn't it just like the Pee-resident Select to steal money from the government - to take food right out of the mouths of starving children - and then use it to buy my vote?

I resolved right then and there to send this so-called "refund" right back to Uncle Sam where it belongs. But then it occurred to me that Bush is the government! He'll probably just give the money to a stupid religious charity or something.

No, this money should be entrusted to someone who would use it for good, not evil. Needless to say, I sat down and cut a check to John Kerry for the full amount.

I encourage all my readers to follow my lead and send their "refunds" to a man who will use his power as president to insure that no American ever receives such an undeserved, untargeted pay-off from the government again.

Comments

[Jeff]

Funny you should mention taking money from children:

"Making the Bush tax cuts permanent would give each individual millionaire an average of over $181,700 each year when fully implemented. That amount of money instead each year could provide:

Health insurance for 74 uninsured children, or
Youth jobs for 50 disadvantaged youth, or
Child care assistance for 49 children of working parents, or
Head Start for 22 three- and four-year olds, or
Affordable housing for 22 low-income families "
- Children's Defense Fund

[Juvenal]

What a great idea, Larry! This could be the Trojan thorn that gets up under Dumbya's saddle, or something!

Just imagine! If all the poor, oppressed people suffering under Shrub's tyranny sent their tax returns to the Kerry campaign, Bush wouldn't stand a chance! The beauty of it! The poetic justice of King George II's evil coming back to bite him in his dumb Texas keister is simply delicious! You should put the word out!

[Liberal Larry]

You're right, Juv - these greedy right-wingers just don't understand that tax cuts aren't the government "taking less of your money", but rather the government giving you money rich people stole off some poor person. That $432 Bush tried to give me could have fed a whole village in Sumatra for a year (or Michael Moore for an hour).

Instead of "donating" money to charities of their own choosing simply to obtain huge tax breaks, the evil rich should be forced to give their profits to the government, which knows how to spend money far better than any of us. Once Uncle Sam takes his cut, he'll divvy up the remainder to whatever victimized group it deems worthy. You see, "charity" isn't simply giving your wealth directly to the needy - it's consenting to being robbed, too.

[cube]

don't worry even all your liberal tax cuts want add up to the amount that the Unions have given Kerry.

Just remember to pay your Union dues.

[Moi ;)]

I'm surprised he could spell cuts...

[John Salmon]

Nothing is stopping those people who think taxes are too low from making a voluntary contribution to reduce the national debt, and to free money for their pet causes. But it's funny that they don't seem to trust the government to spend the money wisely any more than right-wingers do. In practice, all those libs who whine about Bush's tax cuts are conservatives.

[BarCodeKing]

What do you think Kerry will do with his refund?

[JAM]

Leftie says:

There's an injustice going on and you're to blame. Open your wallet and give ME your money so I can "do something about it". (...meaning pocket your money and spout platitudes about proper caring attitudes...)

[Better than you]

Tax cuts for the rich help the economy. Rich poeple pay less, but due to the effects of the cuts, the rich people still pay a higher percentage of the taxes.

Liberals have this view that money earned belongs to the government, and that whatever isn't taken in taxes is a "gift"

That is the official view of drunks and druggies ;)