AWOL Bush Crashed My Computer

A fellow member of my great uncle Harvey's Elks Lodge has a brother-in-law who served at Dannelly Air National Guard Base in Montgomery, Alabama right around the time Dubya was supposed to be there. I drove up to the small town of Stanwood to meet the guy Friday night.

A plain-spoken man in his late fifties, he's been anxious to tell his story but has been met with indifference and often disdain from the right-wing controlled media outlets. We met at a local Denny's and he talked about his Vietnam years; his thick, slow Alabama accent making the minutes seem like hours. The jist of his story is that as a base cook at Dannelly for 15 years, he can confirm that Bush never once showed up for meals. Of course, he must've seen thousands of troops during his service - It's hard to believe he could recall one singular guardsman from 30 years ago.

He looked at me as if I had just crawled out from a sack of wet squirrels. "Shoot - I think I'd remember if the galldern President of the United States were in my mess hall! Do I look like a galldern idget?"

So we have even more damning evidence that Dumbya went AWOL during Vietnam. And despite the "release" of his military records yesterday, Bush has yet to prove his innocence.

I was just about to report this stunning news yesterday when I suffered a severe computer meltdown. What a coincidence, huh? I looked all over town for a new computer, but they don't make Commodore 64's anymore. Another coincidence! I finally had to splurge for a TRS-180 I found at Goodwill. Let me tell you, this thing is a freakin' FERRARI, BABY! That's the best ten bucks I've ever spent!